BM has just got a huge tattoo up her arm

Ask her to cover it with make-up on the day. You can get special foundation that covers tattoos. Can't remember the name of it offhand, but a google search should bring it up.

TBH i think you may be overreacting here slightly.

Why do you want her as your BM anyway? is it because she's important enough for you to want her as part of your wedding, or because she's tattoo-free?

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but i really don't see the problem here.

Another alternative would be to buy her a balero to wear. That way it's covered for the ceremony and the pictures, but she can reveal it for the evening do if she wants.

quote:Originally posted by Siren

What has she had done?

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At the moment it's just black outlines of I think what's going to be a Japanese style figure of some sort. It goes from her hand to past her elbow. By August it'll be full colour.

The thing is, I'm fairly laid back about most things, but I pride myself on detail and colour. To me, this is something that will stick out like a sore thumb.

quote:Originally posted by Siren
It could be worse it could be **** in huge black letters!

As previously suggested a bolero or a shawl maybe for the photos and ceremony! If it does upset you then maybe you should talk to her about it? At the end of the day its her choice to have it done, depends how much she means to you really.

Siren x

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Apologies if i sounded nasty before, wasn't intended that way.

I agree with siren here. If it really is an issue for you, talk to her. A bolero/shrug sounds the best option really.

Alternatively, you could always make sure she's standing sideways in pics to hide the tattoo?!?

I think it depends on the tattoo - some are really beautiful and some are just dreadful, maybe give it a chance first! I can't say much because I've got tats too, but I don't even think about it anymore. As she's obviously realised that she might upset you, she might also be ok about covering it up if its really disturbing you.

quote:Originally posted by Siren
It could be worse it could be **** in huge black letters!

As previously suggested a bolero or a shawl maybe for the photos and ceremony! If it does upset you then maybe you should talk to her about it? At the end of the day its her choice to have it done, depends how much she means to you really.

Siren x

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I don't want to cause any arguments here, but surely a bolero or shawl isn't going to cover up her fore arm? I'm sorry, but I would be upset too. I personally hate tattoos and really wouldn't want my bridsmaids with huge ones on show. Sorry, don't mean to upset anyone, just my opinion.

Are you worried about the photos or how it will look on day??

If its photos - can't your photographer just "edit" them out??

I can see where you are coming from, because it's your wedding day(although I do love tattoos), but if you are worried about how it will look on the day, tbh I think you are just going to have to grin and bare it.

(This bit isn't meant as harsh as it will sound, but..!!) You can't expect people to put their lives and what they want on hold, just because you are getting married...

quote:Originally posted by Melancholie
Ask her to cover it with make-up on the day. You can get special foundation that covers tattoos. Can't remember the name of it offhand, but a google search should bring it up.

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http://www.dermablend.co.uk/info.html is what my friends sister used.

quote:Originally posted by Zippy27
I don't want to cause any arguments here, but surely a bolero or shawl isn't going to cover up her fore arm? id="red">I'm sorry, but I would be upset too. I personally hate tattoos and really wouldn't want my bridsmaids with huge ones on show. Sorry, don't mean to upset anyone, just my opinion.

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Depends what type you get. This one would probably cover it. Or you could have one made.

Hi!

I have to say that you maybe being a tad bridezilla (no offence intended). I mean I get a bit stressed out about things not being perfect and people not matching etc but then i try to remember that this is my wedding day and not get too stressed about it!

My sister has a large tatoo on her chest (sounds minging but its actually ok) which will be on show for the wedding. She is my CB and i just have to accept her for how she is. I love her and want her to play that part, tattoos and all if that makes sense.

Don't mean to cause offence but I don't think that you can control everything and it's best to let it go ?

Plus if you really are bothered maybe you could talk to her about make up or covering it up for the day....depends, would she be receptive to that?

Like I said no offence intended! ?

quote:Originally posted by Melancholie

quote:Originally posted by Zippy27
I don't want to cause any arguments here, but surely a bolero or shawl isn't going to cover up her fore arm? id="red">I'm sorry, but I would be upset too. I personally hate tattoos and really wouldn't want my bridsmaids with huge ones on show. Sorry, don't mean to upset anyone, just my opinion.

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Depends what type you get. This one would probably cover it. Or you could have one made.

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Oh yes...duh! I was being a bit thick then, was just thinking of short sleeved boleros. and shrugs that cover the shoulders, though it looks like an August wedding, could be a hot day.

Did you pick her to be your BM because you love her and want to share your day with her or because she looked good?

What if she'd got knocked over by a bus and been covered in scars, would you have asked her to cover them up?

Honestly most tattoos aren't my thing either but that's why I choose not to have them. If she's chosen to have one then its part of her - the same way as a scar or pierced ears would be.

Your wedding day is about you and your H2B making vows to each other, whether or not your niece has a tatoo on display is not going to make a blind bit of difference to how much you enjoy your day

Maybe if you tell her your bridal colours, she'll get her tattoo coloured to match.

quote:Originally posted by Sare
Maybe if you tell her your bridal colours, she'll get her tattoo coloured to match.

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?

quote:Originally posted by Siren[/i

What I'm trying to say it that tattoos are very personal things so when you do talk to her about it try not to make it sound as though you hate the design or her for it.

Siren x

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Or... if you are my FiL2b come out with something along the lines of.. "That thing on your foot is disgusting. What frame of mind were you possibly in when you had that done?"

?

(ETA - Except obviously you would say arm and not foot because otherwise that would just be silly!!)

quote:Originally posted by lucylu
Did you pick her to be your BM because you love her and want to share your day with her or because she looked good?

What if she'd got knocked over by a bus and been covered in scarsid="red">, would you have asked her to cover them up?

Honestly most tattoos aren't my thing either but that's why I choose not to have them. If she's chosen to have one then its part of her - the same way as a scar or pierced ears would be.

Your wedding day is about you and your H2B making vows to each other, whether or not your niece has a tatoo on display is not going to make a blind bit of difference to how much you enjoy your day

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You know what i've just realised, and i honestly hadn't even thought of it before......I, the bride, have massive scars on my forearm. They're not ones you can cover up or miss, and they'll obviously be in all the pictures.

I think the fact that i'd actually forgotten about them (which is pretty impressive as they're SERIOUSLY obvious and always commented on)goes to show how much it matters. It never even occurred to me.

Just a thought.

I think you will learn to accept tattoo and not even see it like mazzymoo and her scars.

One of my bms has tattoos that will be visable and she also has piercings on her face both of which aren't my cup of tea, I don't disapprove I just don't want them for myself. BUT she is one of my best friends and I love her to bits, her tats and stuff are part of her she has offered to take rings out on the day but to me they are her. When I was bm for her about 10yrs ago I was very over weight and she accepted me for who I was and what I looked like then. ?

Why not ask her to pretend to have a broken arm? Just pop a plaster cast and sling on. Et voila.

quote:Originally posted by la psycho

quote:Originally posted by Iris
Why not ask her to pretend to have a broken arm? Just pop a plaster cast and sling on. Et voila.

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i read that in a take a break stylee

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Nah, I reckon it's a Jeremy Kyle show title
"You're selfish, it's my wedding, let me break your arm"

quote:Originally posted by la psycho

quote:Originally posted by Iris
Why not ask her to pretend to have a broken arm? Just pop a plaster cast and sling on. Et voila.

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i read that in a take a break stylee

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It does sound a bit TAB doesn't it? Whoops.

"Brides. Having problems with tattooed bridesmaids? Simply pop a sling on them, tattoos hidden" Accompanied by photo.?

Why are you that bothered about what your sisters think ? Either you chose her because you think she'd make a good BM - and the tattoos shouldn't be an issue. Or, you don't like the tatoos, in which case - why ask her ?

Now, I thought that bridesmaids were chosen for who they are, not what they are and what they look like.

My sister has had tumours on her facial nerves and her face is half paralysed...oh, and she has a tattoo on her back. Who fecking cares? I look at my photos and smile and remember her being there as that's what mattered.

My sister has several tattoos that will be visible in her BM dress. But like others have said they are who she is and I wouldn't want her to cover them up. I've also never seen that tattoo cover make-up do a good job so I certainly wouldn't ask her to use that.

Having said that my sister doesn't have her forearm tattooed but I can only guess it wouldn't bother me more than the others?!

I have a tattoo on my back and if i was asked to cover it up in a situation like yours, i would be unbelievably offended. A tattoo is so personal and its a representation of that person - you surely cannot expect your BM to cover it up??!!

quote:Originally posted by maisybelle
I have a tattoo on my back and if i was asked to cover it up in a situation like yours, i would be unbelievably offended. A tattoo is so personal and its a representation of that person - you surely cannot expect your BM to cover it up??!!

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Bloody hell, would it kill you to cover it up for one day, if it was what the bride REALLY wanted? As for "a representation of the person" - what a load of b0llocks ? - surely there is more to you than your tattoo, a bit sad if solely that's what you're defined by.

I'm with the OP(although the "detail and colour" comment is a bit arsey I have to say). I think tattoos are ugly, and I wouldn't want them on show in my wedding photos. Whether the match my colour scheme or not ?

My matron of honor got a tattoo up most of her inner arm during the planning my wedding and it didnt bother me in the slightest, i think you are being unreasonable TBH

Roobarb, that's really quite rude of you tbh. If you don't have a tattoo, maybe you don't understand how personal the decision to have one done is? Telling someone you don't like it and you want it covered up is like putting a condition on the friendship and judging something very personal to that person. Don't you want the "real" person in your wedding photos anyway?

I wouldnt ask my BM to stop dying her hair bleach blonde, nor ask my other BM to lose some weight - both choices theyve made, both choices i dont particularly like. but guess what, i accept them for the people they are. the fact that shes asked her to be BM suggests they are close and therefore it should not matter. to me, a wedding should be about being surrounded by those closest to you, not by the 'beautiful' people who fit in with your perception of 'ideal'.

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Winkle
Roobarb, that's really quite rude of you tbh. If you don't have a tattoo, maybe you don't understand how personal the decision to have one done is? Telling someone you don't like it and you want it covered up is like putting a condition on the friendship and judging something very personal to that person. Don't you want the "real" person in your wedding photos anyway?

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I don't think the original poster is being unreasonable. I have a tattoo and understand that to some people its not their style or something they like. I can't see how you can compare a tattoo to a scar either. If my BM had a new large tattoo all up her arm I think I would have been a bit upset. I would have wondered why she couldn't wait a few months to get it done.

I'm a bridesmaid to one of my close friends in the summer and understand she has a style or image in her mind of how she wants us to look. I know she wants all of us to have a similar hairstyle and although I want my hair cut short I will wait until after her wedding. As her close friend I want to do all I can to help and want her day to be as she wants it, if it means not cutting my hair for a few months then so be it. Its not to say she wouldn't have asked us if we didn't 'look right' but if its something you can hold off from then why not?

I think the OP probably just feels the same as to why her niece couldn't have waited.

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Winkle
Roobarb, that's really quite rude of you tbh. If you don't have a tattoo, maybe you don't understand how personal the decision to have one done is? Telling someone you don't like it and you want it covered up is like putting a condition on the friendship and judging something very personal to that person. Don't you want the "real" person in your wedding photos anyway?

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As we said on OT, I think we'll have to agree to disagree. I just thought that it was a bit pathetic of maisybelle to say she'd be "unbelievably offended" - FFS it'a bit of makeup or a scarf for one day to cover it up, not asking her to get it surgically removed.

I have friends with tattoos, they know I don't like them. It doesn't mean it's added conditions to the friendship or means I don't like them as people any more!

quote:Originally posted by Mrsmcd!

quote:Originally posted by Mrs Winkle
Roobarb, that's really quite rude of you tbh. If you don't have a tattoo, maybe you don't understand how personal the decision to have one done is? Telling someone you don't like it and you want it covered up is like putting a condition on the friendship and judging something very personal to that person. Don't you want the "real" person in your wedding photos anyway?

id="quote">


I don't think the original poster is being unreasonable. I have a tattoo and understand that to some people its not their style or something they like. I can't see how you can compare a tattoo to a scar either. If my BM had a new large tattoo all up her arm I think I would have been a bit upset. I would have wondered why she couldn't wait a few months to get it done.

I'm a bridesmaid to one of my close friends in the summer and understand she has a style or image in her mind of how she wants us to look. I know she wants all of us to have a similar hairstyle and although I want my hair cut short I will wait until after her wedding. As her close friend I want to do all I can to help and want her day to be as she wants it, if it means not cutting my hair for a few months then so be it. Its not to say she wouldn't have asked us if we didn't 'look right' but if its something you can hold off from then why not?

I think the OP probably just feels the same as to why her niece couldn't have waited.

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i understand what you're saying about waiting, and maybe if i was being BM to someone who i knew didnt like tattoos i would have waited, so as not to upset them. but i do think you have to draw the line somewhere. im getting married in dec and planning on trying for babies straight away... that may mean il be pregnant for when im a BM twice next year. i know its completely different, but people have more important things in their lives than someone elses wedding - and yes a tattoo can be important!! my h2b had one particular tattoo when he recovered from cancer - people have them for very personal reasons and that should be respected as much as the bride to be.