Bride's Speech

This is only my personal opinion but I don't think the bride should give a speech, the focus for most of the day is on the bride and the speech is the one time that the groom can have his own spotlight and I think it's shame that some brides want to share that.

I maybe in the minority and my views old fashioned but it's just that, my views and opinions.. And I'm sure that doesn't help your decision at all

Nope, doesnt help one bit! HAHA!

See, I have relatives and friends back home in Derby, and now live in Birmingham, so whilst not a million miles away, Iapprciate the efforts they will eb making AND as I only see them a handful of times a year...

I really want to give them a "thanks" as the speeches by OH, FFIL (who is best man) and also OH's brother will mainly be about their side, and our mutual friends. Not really "my" friends as OH and fmaily don't really know them. Whilst OH has a rship with my sister, brother, etc, its not really his place to in his speech mention them (or my close friends)

I was thinking about doing one as I am the talkative one in our relationship but this has really summed up why I shouldn't, thanks. It is his moment and I don't want to spoil that.

Froot - why don't you just ask him to include a few thank yous from you. He will be speaking on behalf of both of you.

Yeh I guess I hadn't thought of it that way.... The shine however, will be on BOTH of us. My OH is a very popular man and nearly 50% of the guests are his family, witht he remaining 50% being split between mutual friends, my friends, and my very few family members. So whilst i will be looking pretty and bride-y, he will also be a main focus. And so he should be, he's beautiful

hehe anyway trailing off the point.....

I'm not sure he'd want to gives thanks my best mates from home who he knows but not "as friends". In "normal" life we never speak for each other so why should the wedding be any different?

SIGH!

Haha I think I'd struggle to keep it to a couple of short sentences!! LOL! ?

Yes, we never speak for each other, so I dont think him thanking anyone on my behalf is the way forward. OH didnt seem bothered when I said I want to say something... just "OK if you want"

I'm definitely gonna, but we aren't even planning a reception yet so I haven't given any thought to what I'll say. Just thank people for coming and whatnot I guess.

I certainly don't think the day will be just about me. We both have lots of family, mutual friends and individual friends coming but I'm really looking forward to being part of a team and I'm happy to step back and let him be the man as it were.

Maybe I'm just an old fashioned traditionalist at heart but I know I'm going to struggle to hold it together when he says 'my wife and I...."

Aw bless you!! Yes I dont think i'll be able to control my emotions when he refers to me as his wife Nothing wrong with a bit of tradiitonal though, I have traditions and morals deep seated but like to sometimes go against the grain.

I especially want to thank him for standing by my side in a very difficult period both in myself, and as a couple. He never gave up on me either time, and although I have told him I want to thank him so so much for standing by me and allowing us to be where we are. Of course, I wont go into too much detail else people might wander!! And wrongly so hahahaha

I think it's an individual thing. It maybe won't be so weird for my groom to thank my brother (as an example) because we have been together for 14 years. Our families and friends are very much intertwined now just due to time.

I just don't really understand the fight to keep your individuality that some brides have. I pride myself on being my own person, I earn my own money and have my own dreams and aspirations but I don't feel I need to shout about how I am not the property of my husband on our wedding day.

As I said, I'm a a traditionalist. Each to their own.

It's a lot more common nowadays to see brides giving speeches.

I'm a shy person, fairly quiet and hate public speaking..i'd spend all day being nervous about it so for this reason i'm leaving the speeches to OH, best man & my dads saying a few words and toasting us.

If I wasn't so shy though i'd do one, I don't like the thought of a bride wanting to speak and feeling they have to shut up for the sake of "tradition". It's your wedding too and if you want to thank people for coming or just babbling on then it's your right to!

Maybe some googling or hopefully some brides giving speeches on here could give you some pointers? I'd try and keep it short n sweet, a bit comical and with true feeling.

Sure you'll find the right words

Im making one at our wedding. My OH doesnt like public speaking at all and he said he would feel better if I did one too. Also, my dad wont be there to make a speech so there is room for me and my gob lol. I just wanna personally thank my mom and my daughter and say to my new husband what he means to me x

My friend did a speech at her wedding last year and it was great. She's quite 'loud' so it was very her to want to do one. She went last and did all of the thank you's and gift giving that the groom would normally do. It wasn't overly long but gave her a chance to say her bit. It seems odd that you wouldn't thank people personally or want to say a few words about the love of your life.

having said all that, I probably won't do one! I'm a terrible public speaker and I think the worry would ruin the day for me.

I am doing a speech because my OH is so shy and cannot face doing one, the mere thought of it terrified him, in fact it was the only thing he has put his foot down over. We have 16 days left before we tie the knot and he is already very nervous and having sleepless nights about saying his vows in front of everyone aand doing the first dance so there was no way he would or could do the groom's speech.

Even so I think it's personal choice at my first wedding I did not yet wished I had.

There are loads of sites I got inspiration from including hitched. Happy to send you a copy of mine if it will help.

I told OH he could either pick a best man and feed the stories he's not too ashamed of, or his wife, who knows ALL the stories will make the speech! Muhahahaha. (The idiot has gone for the latter...)

Perhaps my response isn't really relevant as there is no groom in our wedding - but maybe it is relevant that we want to get up and do a speech together - within that, we'll each have our own section to say our own words.

I find it bizarre in this day and age that there's even a question over whether the bride "should" say a few words at her own wedding ... Surely it's down to personal taste rather than traditional gender roles

I definitely think you should give a speech if you want to!

I did speak at the dinner but not to do a speech as such. I introduced the three traditional speakers with some light hearted personal words. I introduced OH as my ex-boyfriend and former fiance. Apparently he'd considered referring to me as his ex-girlfriend but had worried I wouldn't take it well. I had wanted to thank the bridesmaids myself. I didn't want the whole "I think we can all agree they look stunning". They did, yes, but I didnt pick them as ornaments but rather their funny, clever and supportive personalities. It also meant I could have a dig at the for allowing me to finish my Hen Weekend in Skegness A&E and my sister having me push start her mini at 11.45pm the night before the wedding. I always think you get these incites from the boys about their friendships, which are great, but not about the girls.

The traditional wedding is all about the bride as long as you agree that women are purely decorative. ?

I don't see how the bride doing a speech is somehow stealing the groom's thunder - would you say that same if the bride's mum spoke instead of her dad? Or if a bridesmaid made a speech as well as the best man?

I think you should make a speech if you want to. I don't because I am *** at speeches.

im really offended by this! So because we have shared a whole day together, I shouldn't get to share the speech? My oh hated the idea of doing a speech, so he did the bare minimum. He got to say how much he loved me, why on earth wouldn't I want to say how much I loved him too? And I did make a speech, so a grand total of 4 short speeches went down very well! Sorry for wanting to share the spirit of the day, how dare I!

I'm not doing a speech because the thought terrifies me, but I am putting together a very short video of "our story" starting with photos of us being young and the journey to our wedding day. Just trying to make the most of my media degree haha But in general, I think a bride should definitely make a speech if she wants too! There isn't anything in your wedding that you shouldn't do, if it makes you happy to do it!! After all, it's your big day!! xx

This has given me something to think about. I was going to do a speech in place of my Dad who has advanced Parkinson's disease and now I'm wondering what I'll say! I have a good long while to worry about it though

Oh, seriously...get a grip. Being offended by someones opinion is your problem, not mine. If you want to feel offended then that's your prerogative but it's certainly not "my fault" that you are feeling this way, you didn't have to read my comments..

My opinion is Exactly that, my opinion. Did I at any point suggest that everyone should share the same view?

And well done for making a speech, I assume that's what you're after?

I really like the idea of this!

Infact I have literally just been saying in my head the type of speech I would like to do and although I'm not fully decided. I think I will be saying a few words.

I definitely agree that it's nice for you to say your thanks to your family and friends that are just your friends. I also think it's lovely to say thanks to your new husband. As someone said it isn't really right for your H2B to say thanks to them especially if he doesn't really know them. It would seem quite false and the sentiment wouldn't be there so this could also cause a little uneasy feeling as he's saying it. At the end of the day we live in a society now where us ladies like to have our own say and I don't think for one minute you will be taking the spotlight off him. Maybe as part if your speech say how you know it's not tradition or the norm for you to make a speech but that you wanted to thank a few people personally and from the heart. I maybe wouldn't just make your speech about thank yous but possible add in a story or two to also lighten the mood.

i want to talk a little bit about my H2B as although the best man will touch on it. It is likely to be about his character and fun loving side. But there is obviously more to him than that. Personally in our relationship we have defied the odds by being together (we have a large age gap) and our marriage after what will be 10 years together and having our little girl will play a part in my speech. I also think my H2B not being a public speaker at all would like it if I give out our thank you gifts which I am more than happy to do. I will no doubt read a poem I love too.

I can understand the Brides that want to give a speech to thank those that have been there for them and tell the groom how much she appreciates them. However personally I would like the speeches to be given by the traditional people. I will be nervous enough on the day without giving a speech too. The groom however has other ideas he would like me to do one aswell to make him feel better lol

I was just happy to go along with the 'norm' too as I hadn't actually given the speeches much thought, but my OH asked me to consider giving one. The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea, and I have now pretty much finalised it with more than four months to go! I love the speeches at weddings, especially when they're really personal to those involved.

I cannot get on board with the notion of Brides not doing a speech out of tradition or to not upstage the groom. My speech is an opportunity for me to talk about how brilliant I think he is - the whole day is about two people deciding to spend the rest of their lives together, so why can't both say a few words about the reason everyone is there celebrating?

I didn't do one, and a feel rather lucky not too! i had my dad,mum, the groom and then the best man (all champagne was gone by the beginning of the grooms speeches) thought it be best to spare the guests. Plus i didn't see a point to do so since i would repeat what everyone else said and i'm shy when it comes to public speaking, majorly. That and i was uber stressed on the run up and everyone was losing their wits with speeches (except the groom, who quietly stresses) I felt fortunate

not sure where'd you start in all honesty but maybe talk to you OH about it, so your not thanking the same people twice

I have always said we will try to defy tradition in some respects as equality is important to us. However we want to achieve this whilst not alarming our guests to the degree where they feel uncomfortable.

I don't think me giving a speech would make anyone, including myself, feel uncomfortable. My OH and I have discussed this and we will probably go for a joint speech. Haven't decided how to do this yet though, probably take it in turns to stand up otherwise I'm concerned it may look awkward or cheesey (a la Holly and Phil).

What better way to promote equality than both the bride and groom speaking publicly on their wedding day? We are also strongly considering me keeping my name instead of the default position of the bride taking the groom's. We consider things like these as our own small simple ways of contributing to updating marriage traditions and making them less misogynistic.

A bride speech is also, as others have said, an opportunity for the bride to thank people personally, including her groom, and that's important to me too as my OH has been like a rock to me through hard times.

It seems that in this modern age it is personal choice that dictates what we do. Good for any woman that gets up and gives a speech. At the same time I don't blaim you if you don't.

I'm not going to do a speech as such but I will say thank you to mine and OH parents as they have helped out so much. I no this is something OH will forget!

Also to say thank you to the BM's, there's no point him saying it because they haven't helped him at all!

I think it's your wedding and do what feels right for you.