bridesmaid dresses - who pays?

In the States, it seems usual for BMs to pay for their outfits, regardless of who chooses. I personally feel that if you are choosing what they wear, you pay (so actually, I'd have paid for their shoes in your case).

In all, I paid for dresses and alterations, flowers, shoes, hair, make up, and one of the two nights in the hotel.

The general consensus is 'you choose, you pay'.

So if you're asking them to wear a particular dress (whether they had a hand in the decision making process or not), the bride and groom would pay.

I'm paying for my bridesmaids dresses, the dress was chosen on the first day at the last shop thank the lord for Dessy is all I can say!!

I'm yet to do the flower girls but I know what I want.

Shoes however are a different story, total nightmare and no I don't like shoes that look like they are from the 90's!!! urgh I will probably be paying for those as well, and a bolero or pashmina, I'm a little bit of a walk over because I want them to be happy, but I am having the dresses and shoes back to sell on hopefully afterwards!

I don't think there are any rules. I think it's polite for the BMs to offer to pay/contribute but shouldnt be expected. I am not paying for mine, simply because we weren't going to Have bridesmaids as we wanted to keep costs to a minimum but then my sister offered to pay and my mum offered to pay for my daughter to be a bridesmaid.

How are you being a walk over if you are stipulating what they're wearing and have strong views on what you do and don't like?

They don't like anything I like, even down to the same dress but with the bust area having ripples of fabric going horizontal instead of vertical, in saying thatI am easy going but if I don't like it they wont have it, the shoes I didnt think would be a problem and wanted to go high street to keep costs down but they just dont like anything so I think we have found a pair from paradox that I can get dyed or maybe just the plain ballerina that Dessy do again dyed to match their dresses, when I'm spending £196 on their dresses, then £20 odd for the pashmina then upwards of £70 for their shoes, you'd think they would be a little more accepting of the word comprmise lol I love all of my maids and want them to feel happy and confident on my wedding day so their views are important to me

I paid for their dresses, hair and jewellery. They bought their own shoes. However, they had black dresses and hence wore black strappy shoes, which I know they have now worn to death.

Had I been demanding they wore peach dresses with green spots and orange shoes (IYSWIM), I would have bought their shoes too.

Lol interesting to hear about shoes. as soon as I asked BM's to be BMs they said the tallest one cant wear heels ( luckily she agreed and wants to wear flats) 2 other want kitten heels and the other who is short like me wants big heels. I suggested they all wore the same purple shoe to match the dress and they all in unison disagreed stating the dresses are long no one will see then so wanted to wear their own. so instead have bought them matching handbags which I intend to fill with "essentials" for the day and their presents and give them to them the night befoire as a surprise

Oh right. I thought you meant you were being a walkover by paying for them full stop.

There's a fine line with bridesmaids - a bride should never want them to feel uncomfortable but the BMs really should be open to some compromise if they're not paying.

I'm paying for everything expect underwear as they will have their hair and make-up done on the day too, as for the shoes i'd prefer high street purely for cost, but its not going to happen, heel hight etc doesnt bother me, one will be in flats and the other will probably follow suit as she is 2 inches taller than her other half, its just the designs of the shoes they are looking at things that you'd wear to a wedding back in the 90's and i hate them, but the Dessy ballerina's are very plain and simple and as they are wearing full length dresses it shouldnt matter too much, but they are not sure still!! argh!!

Im paying for dresses, shoes and makeup. They are both 5 inches shorter than me so i told them they have to agree on a pair of silver 3 inch heels which i will then pay for. Definately on the side of you choose you pay.

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I was going to but haven't actually brought myself to do it!

No, My BMs intend to use tham as party dresses afterwards ( hopefully not to the same party lol)

My daughter (the bride) has paid for dresses, shoes and hair decorations for bridesmaids. They already had suitable jewellery and doing their own hair and makeup. We are paying for them to stay in B and B for two nights. My daughter wanted to choose what they wore so she paid.

My BM are keeping their dresses and shoes, i cant do much with them since they are both size 8 and they only cost £35 each on ebay anyways, i made sure to buy a style they could wear again so i hope they do!

I think that they should buy their own outfit... everybody has to get an outfit to go to the wedding! and you do not pay for all of the guests! being a special day I am sure that they won't mind to spend the money in a nice dress that depending of the lenght and style they may use it in any other ocasion..

You're going to be very much in the minority with that view.

Are you getting your bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses? Are they choosing them themselves?

I've bought all 5 of my BM dresses, they were £186 each (BIBA coral maxi dress from House of Fraser) and will have them on Ebay while they are still warm. I will be selling decorations, shoes, accessories, if it isn't nailed down or stolen it's being sold.

To be honest I will be selling as much as I possibly can as I intend on not having any debt from the wedding and I know there may be one or two credit card moments, the honeymoon being one, so any cash I can make will be clearing the credit card and going towards a good time with my new hubby.

xxx

I have brought there dress and there shoes, hair and will also buy there wraps, this is mainly because I want them all in the same thing so this insures that is the case. There jewelry is part of there gift and they get to keep it all after. We are all doing are own make up but I am buying all new stuff which they will all be welcome to use on the day.

I'm buying dresses, pashminas, jewellery / hair accessories and presents. Two of my BMs are staying with me the night before, and two are staying with their partners so those two are paying for their own rooms. They're buying their own shoes, hopefully silver, and paying for their own hair if they want it done, and they can choose whatever hairstyle they want.

I have also bought the 2 flower girls boleros, tights, shoes, hair accessories and presents, and a dress for one of them (my cousin). The other flower girl is the daughter of one of my BMs so she is paying for the dress (as I paid for my BM dress for her wedding and am paying for her BM dress which costs more than the FG dress)

Can't believe how much it all adds up! I really couldn't afford to pay for their rooms, hair, make up and shoes as well!

Oh and I'm paying for myself to go on my hen do!

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As for the suit point, we are also paying for all of the groomsman and immediate family i.e my father and h2b brother (his parents passed away!) but not the shoes!

Its actually working out really expensive to do this the bridesmaids in total are costing us £950 excluding gifts, hair and make-up (I know you shouldnt say gifts but its still on the budget) and the suits will be about the same for 6 adult suits and 3 children's, no shoes obviously, but h2b will get a new pair plus 3 pairs for our childrens, so I guess you could easily add another £100-£150 onto that total, very scarey when you look at it from that perspective!

Hence why I ill be selling everything that I can!!

I'll be paying for the bridesmaids dresses, hopefully it might mean they'll listen up and stop being pains in the proverbial when it comes down to it because they're proving to be very fussy!! I mentioned it to my mum and dad when we were doing the budget and mum thought it was normal to do, but my dad didn't, we had to remind him that when I was a bridesmaid (admittedly) I was 7, we didn't have to pay for the dress. When I asked my friend to be bridesmaid she originally said no because it was too costly to buy the stuff, and she came round once it was explained we'd be paying.

I will be paying for my BM dresses. When the day comes I know I will want to pay for a lot more for all their help!!

I chose three dresses for my bridesmaids and got them to choose one between them ( I had 3 bms) and they all agreed on one. They paid for them and I kept the costs purposefully under £60 so they couldn't complain. I let them choose shoes (black, simple) as their dresses were floor length. they chose their own hair accessories and I gave them as a gift matching jewllery for the wedding. All their dresses were ordered from Chinese manufactures and all came pertty much perfectly. So we didn't have much issues.

I've paid for my bridesmaid's dresses although they were the grand total of £66 for two of them! Will pay for any alterations though.

I will be giving them each £70 each towards their shoes, which I would prefer to be black or gold but I'm not that fussed as their dresses are long. I'll pay for their jewellery and to have their hair and make up done. We're getting married near where they live (and where I'm from) so it's up to them if they go home or get a hotel room.

Yeah I also paid for their dresses, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking them to pay, even though my MOH is American and asked how much money I'd like for it! Bless her. I bought dresses that they could easily wear again. Like others, shoes are a big problem, one is totally willing to wear whatever I buy (which'll be cheap but like she said, it's only one day, she'll wear whatever I want her to!) unfortunately the other one is a nightmare and very fussy and says she has weird feet so can only wear specialist shoes!? Oh dear.

We paid for the dresses, shoes, bags, hair accessories, jewellery and hair dressers for our bridesmaids and flower girls. They didn't want make up done and paid for their own nails before the day if they wanted them done.

I've paid for BM dresses, jewelery and shoes and their hair to be done, 2 of them have fallen pregenant so are now paying for there alterations (although I will try and help if budget allows). There gift is what I have bought them although I may try and get them something little.

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