Bridesmaid Problem....

What a rude immature girl! I am sorry she wouldnt even have an invite let alone CBM!

To say she will get drunk if you dont choose her is blackmail and not on, I would pick someone else and if she carrys on making those threats then tell her to stick it!

Omg sorry but whos day is it. not hers! i would say to her that u were gonna ask her but shes been so childish about it that its put u off havin any. how will the others feel if u pick the one thats bein like this?x

OMG how cheeky!!!

i have only got 2 but not picked between them but one is signing the register for us and this is my friend ive know for years and year it kind of just fell in to place.

I think if i was you i wouldnt have one but who is going to sign the register for you? are any your sister or family relation? xx

I had the exact same thing with one of my now ex BM !!

As i said to her, does it not count for nothing the fact i actually asked her to be BM why did she need the CBM title ????

Needless to say we had a huge argument over it, we did sort it out all was fine until the next thing kicked off now we've completely fallen out and she's no longer invited to the wedding.

You "friend" is being too pushy..... you have who YOU want it's your day after all a true friend will understand !

Good Luck !

xx

I'm not having a CBM! Just four bridesmaids who are all as important as each other - no arguments! :-) xx

I have my 3 sisters being my bridesmaids and I havent promoted one of them to be CBM. I dont think its neccessary really to have one, they are all equally important in my eyes and they will all have jobs to do onthe the day, I will just share the duties out fairly.

Others may think its important to have a CBM but its totally your call and I understand you getting irritated, I would too!

I would just say Im not having one and let her get over it, she should feel priviledged at the fact she is an important part of the day being a bridesmaid. Hope it works out for you..

That is really unfair of her... I don't see why you need to have one?

Whoa how on earth does this think her behaviour is acceptable?

You don't HAVE TO have anything - BM or CBM if you don't want to - your wedding your way and all that.

I'd not want someone as my BM who emotionally blackmailled me and who is being childish. TBH if all she wants to do is get drunk i'd not even want her to attend.

Ii'm with Vintage Mini & Trickers - sack her!

No you dont need one. I was BM for a friend last year and she had 3 BMs and didnt pick one to be 'chief' and everything worked out fine! None of us knew each other either and it still worked out fine we managed to plan her hen do fine and be there for her without competing for her attention!

Oh my! I would sack her off completely tbh, couldn't be doing with that behaviour, especially before you've even got to the dress chosing part, can you imagine how she would be then?!

My SIL hinted a few times about her being my CBM but I just told her I didn't want one as such but I would like her to hold my flowers and she offered to sort my hen do.

I don't think you need to have one if you don't want to, especially not such a pushy one!!

How old is she? 7?!

I am having my 2 best friends and my sister plus my two girl and i have not asked anyone to be "chief",they are all chief to me.

Hi Buttercup,

Quite frankly this girl has already failed at her BM duties let alone CBM and you should ditch her or have a serious conversation with her about her attitude and actions. Her job as a bridesmaid is to take care of little stresses before and during the day so that you don't have to deal with them. Her job is not to create additional stress or just threaten to get really drunk at the meal!

I would also question her motives, does she want to be CBM to play the "big I am" on your day or does she want to be there for you and help you more than the other bridesmaids? If its not the second option, by making her CBM you will be creating additional stress on your wedding day. Not what you want and not what your CBM should want!

Ultimately CBM is hard work and while it is an honour to be asked my experience was that I put the bride before my own needs for the 6 months running up to the wedding (dropping everything to visit florists etc) and during the day. On the day I was dealing with irritating sister in laws, ensuring that any guests likely to upset the bride were dealt with politely and running around with gifts, spare hair grips, ensuring gandma didn't ahve another drink etc. Plus there is the organising of the hen do and ensuring all guests including pregnant sisters were catered for, on the hen do I was the one getting up early after the big night (very hungover) to ensure everyone had breakfast and arranging taxisbookings, restaurant bookings, finances etc. I would give her a list of your expectations and see what she does. Ultimately its a lot less work being a BM than a CBM!

CBMs are supposed to reduce the stress not increase it!

Let us know how you get on...

Would it help to tell her how she is making you feel? i think you need to ask her why she thinks it is important to be CBM? i had this with my cousin who expected to be CBM and had a fit when i wanted my best friend. i asked her what she thought was so important to be a CBM and why was BM not just as important. (she had some very strange perceptions of what a CBM should do) when i explained why i had chosen this seemed to placate her a little. Hope this sorts its self out, sometimes i think weddings can bring out the worst in people!!!

xx

Simple solution: tell her that you've decided that you're not having a CBM, and that you respect her decision to take no responsibility and just get drunk so it would probably be best for her not to be a bridesmaid at all then she isn't worrying about embarrassing you. Then see what she comes back with....

Why is she one of your best friends if this is how she is behaving about your wedding? Get rid of her, she'll either pout and sulk and in that case it's her loss, or she'll man up and realise that she's being a complete spoilt brat and will become the best bridesmaid you could ever ask for.

What a child! I'd tell her straight away that she was sacked if she was going to carry on like that.