Bridesmaids

I had just my sister then OHs sister helped me out a lot so I asked her daughter. Her daughter was super shy so I asked OHs 2 sisters and then I asked my baby cousins lol!! From 1 BM to 8! Do what makes you happy. You will ALWAYS offend someone in your wedding choices. You have beef on the menu someone will moan they didnt want beef they wanted chicken. Maybe speak to OH and see how he feels? Xxx

I'm having my 3 sisters, my best friend and my OH niece! I have heard it is tradition to have a member of the grooms family in the bridal party! However we chose his niece because she is like a sister! x I think go for what you want! Even though I already have 5 bridesmaids I certainly have not pleased everyone! x

Hello!

I'm just having my 2 sisters as bridesmaids. My fiancé has a sister too but although we get on, we aren't especially close so if I asked her too, it would be for the wrong reasons (ie just because she's his family). You should have who you want to have, not who you think you should have. Plus, another BM means another dress, pair of shoes, hair/make-up, accessories etc...it all adds up!

Or on the flip side, you could have your sister as MoH and your OH's sisters as bm's?

There were mutterings about me being rude for not asking his niece. Who is 19 and I had met once. Get over yourselves!!! I'll have who I want.

I picked mine for who would be the loveliest company on the day and who I thought would be in my life and important to me forever. The fact they helped with stuff was just a great bonus!

Are you close to your OH's sister? If not, don't!

I was called rude for not having OH's sister as a BM. Bearing in mind this is the woman who when we got engaged said "great, guess I have to pretend to be happy?!" on Facebook! Yeah, she isn't a BM, my sister and best friend are.

Have who you want to be around and support you on your big day.

This.

I actually get on really well with my OH's sisters but they still weren't my bridesmaids. I had four of my closest friends.

I do agree with have who you want as BM, however when they are young i.e 14 or under i think it is very unfair to have one sister as a BM and not the grooms sister. This can affect them in the future!! I always think that it is both Bride and Grooms day and to try and get the family involved as much as possible.

I have my H2B sisters as BM's + my sisters and i am very happy with my decision, i was not overly close with his sisters at first but now we are very good friends. They have helped me allot with Hair/Makeup etc

Good luck with your decision xxx

If you are in the lucky position of having one sister who you are close to - have her and that's the end of it!!! No one can complain about you only having your sister. It saves on the hassle that including others would bring. You certainly do not have to have your H2B's sisters because you feel you have to.

I think choose who you want to be there with you! I have my 3 closest friends and OH's sister - I always planned to have her as I want to include her into the day! However, as I only ever wanted 4, I have now lost one of my oldest friends as she assumed that she would be bridesmaid, burst into tears when I said she wouldn't, and I've barely spoken to her since! I was sad, but I didn't want to ask someone just because they expected it - if losing our friendship over being bridesmaid was how she dealt with it, then it doesn't say much for our friendship in the first place!

Thank you all for you thoughts on the matter. I asked my OH and he wasn't much help. Said he didn't know. Was up to me. One is in her 30's and has a little boy so we'll be giving him a role of some sort and the other one is in her 20's so they aren't little. I'm very close to my sister and I was worried if I had OH's 2 sisters then I might accidently end up doing more with my sister which I wouldn't want. I think maybe other roles for them might be a good idea, a reading or a witness etc. I'll talk to OH again, as you've all given me some good advice. No rush on this yet anyway, still only looking at venues etc but it's still something I was worrying about.

I think a reading or being a witness is a great compromise. I had my three sisters and my H has 2 sisters that did readings for us, otherwise I'd have been overrun with Bridesmaids!

Let's face it, they will probably want to be bridesmaids because not many girls wouldn't!

But the disappointment of not being picked is only short lived (been there, done that) and I am sure they will understand if you explain it.

And having them do a reading is great idea - it's what I ended up doing when I wasn't a bridesmaid and it does make you feel like you are part of the day.

If they are nervous about doing a reading separately, or if you only want one reading, you could get them to do a joint one.

I was planning on having four bridesmaids and a flower girl but after looking at hair and make up costs I think i'm having 2!

Absolutely agree with KentishGal, have who YOU want on the day! I'm having four - my sister, my best friend, and two other very close/old friends. If I'd also had h2b's sister that would've been 5, and 4 was my max! I never felt obliged to ask her, as she is his sister not mine, and on the morning of my wedding I'd rather have the people I'm closest to!

I will ask her to be a witness though, as I do like her and we get on, so I'm choosing for her to be a part of the wedding.

As many have said you will never keep everyone happy so just choose who you want.

I'm having two, A MOH who is my best friend of about 18 years and the other is OH's sister who is 25. I'm not particularly close to her but we do get on and she was desperate to be a bridesmaid. I don't have any sisters or any other younger girls in my family. My brothers girlfriend would hate it (she is now an ushette!) and if i asked any of my other friends it would mean having about 10 because i couldn't choose any one over the others.

As a lot of people have said it is your day so you should have who you want.

I decided to have my OH 2 sisters as well as one of my friends and my future SIL (my brothers fiance). I wanted to choose his sisters but if i hadnt they would have understood and actually it has brought us all closer!

I had a lot of pressure to choose my cousin (i only have one cousin and no sisters) and everyone was ok with my decision not to have her but then when i talked to my OH i realised that the only reason i wasnt having her was because 5BM's seemed like too many and would cost us more and suddenly this didnt seem like a good enough reason so i asked her too and my family are really happy and she was over the moon.

You control how involved or otherwise your bridesmaids are so if u do decide to have them and you want them to do less then your sister that shouldnt be a problem.

Hope you work it out but give it some thought then do what you want!!

xxx

I just had my one sister and my one god daughter as a flower girl. Luckily my OH is an only child so I had no issues there!

My mum did try and make some suggestions about my cousins, but I knew that if I went down that road then I would have to ask them all!

Stick with who you want. It will just become a nightmare later if you don't!

This is horrendous!!! Can't believe someone said that!

Back to the original post I'm not having OH's sister - as we're friendly but not best friends - her little girl will be a flower girl though. as others have said do if their very good friends of yours do it, if not give them other roles. The only thing I would say is make sure you're double sure before deciding though. I'm about to add a bridesmaid (when I next meet up with her), because I've realised I really should have asked her in the first place and only didn't as I was worried about having too many/extra costs of dresses etc - now I've decided screw it, I want her there with me on the day!

I'm not having my own sister never mind OH's 2 sisters. None of them expected it. The only mutterings I had were about his niece (who will only be one) not being flower girl. Well, that's what happens when my children don't get invited to a wedding because "they're not family"

I do like having the family included, but you have to keep it to who you want. I'm having my best friend and OHs brothers girlfriend. I haven't asked OHs sister but we are having her daughter as flower girl and son as Page boy, so all the family are included in some way. ? I've got 2 adult bridesmaids and 3 little ones so I don't really want any more than that.

I'm having 3, My Sister, My Best friend and SIL to be. I feel bad about leaving some people out but at the end of the day you cant please everybody. I know one friend will get her Ass out but people have to realise your word is final...if they don't like it then they can lump it.

Thank you all sooo much for your help!!!!

I think it's such a tricky topic. I'm having my best friend as MOH and niece as flowergirl but the other two bridesmaids are from OHs family so that they don't feel left out. One of them will be just shy of 12 and she is a right little madam but I know my life will be made a misery if she's not included as her brother is an usher and the other cousins are my other bridesmaid and an usher. Sometimes it is worth it just to keep the peace. You can always assign the less desirable jobs to the ones you don't know so well x

Again as everyone says have who you want

I am having my sister and OHs 2 sisters, this is what i want and i know it made OH happy too

I am close to them plus really like them and for me its bringing the 2 families together so want them involved in the bridal party i did find out the other week it made my MIL to be happy to ask them but if i hadnt she wouldnt of made it difficult for me.

It was a really easy choice for me, my sister is my absolute best friend so she was the automatic and only choice. I get on really well with my OH's sister too though and all three of us socialise together with our OHs. Instead of asking her to be bridesmaid, I asked her if she would do a reading for us and she was over the moon, although we might both have been a bit less emotional about the whole thing if we hadn't already downed a few bottles of wine in the beer garden ?

Weddings will always offend someone! Whether it's the choice of venue, the date you've chosen to get married to the type of food offered on the day and even the type of music played! It is filled with family politics. You can be selfish for this one time as the wedding is simply about you & your HTB. I know it is easier said then done as I'm facing some of the problems that most brides have faced but you just need to stay firm & be tough.

Some people forget that by having a lot of bridesmaids, it also involves more costs as you need to buy gifts & their outfits, also getting their H&MU done. At the end of the day, close friends & family will help you out even if they are not your bridesmaids.

I don't have any sisters, I have a few SILs that I get along with very well but I'd rather choose having flower girls & page boys over having bridesmaids. However my HTB wants his brother to be his best man so I respect him for that and now I will need to choose one.

Good luck!

JB x