BT: Baby shower confusion

It is an excuse for the mother to be to gain more gifts from her friends. I would recommend making one of these cakes to take along:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/baby-shower-cakes-made-of-nightmares

I've been invited to a couple, at one I was given a list & guests were told to let the organiser know what they had purchased to prevent duplication & the other the parents to be had registered with john Lewis. I might add that with this one I was still sent the gift list despite giving my apologies which if I'm honest really got my goat. I would give the gift at the baby shower & then only give a card after the baby arrives. I'll be honest I'm not sure what the etiquette is around them either. X

Oh they are hideous!!! ?

I've never actually been to one. I was invited to one but couldn't attend so sent a present anyway, and for my other friends who've had babies I just sent a present after the baby was born. We did have one "Last Hurrah" weekend for one friend, who was adamant it wasn't a baby shower, but a last girly weekend for us all (she was the first of us to have kids) but we all brought presents anyway. Usually mostly for the baby, but I'll normally chuck in some smellies or chocs for mum.

Some people provide gift lists for baby showers, which I've never come across and I'm not sure if I approve. In general I think most of the presents are meant to be for the baby, perhaps with a few treats for mum. If you really want to keep your present until after the baby has arrived (I know some people are superstitious about this) then maybe get something nice for her and tell her that there's something else on the way.

My advice is to steer clear of baby clothes, she will get so many that baby will probably never get round to wearing it.

For a friend of mine I gave her a gift bag bag of useful things, like:

Sudocrem, Calpol, Snuffle Babe, Colief, Thermometer, nail scissors, Weaning things (spoons, baby rice, purees etc.), Lanolin Cream (great for sore nipples and dribble rash on the baby), breast pads, wipes, nappy sacks, cotton wool, shampoo, bubble bath and a couple cartons of ready-mixed formula - just in case she struggles to breastfeed at least she is then prepared. Oh, and paracetamol for her, as she cannot have aspirin.

The time will fly over the first few months for her, so things like the weaning supplies won't be needed straight away, they will keep in the cupboard and it will be there ready for her to try, and new stages in a baby's life do creep up and bite one in the bum!

I had many gifts for my little one's arrival, but they were 99% clothes, which while we did appreciate, as first time parents we were overwhelmed by all of the stuff that exists for babies out there and the product ranges to choose from. Especially not-knowing that Calpol could be taken from 2 months - perfect for the first jabs lol! These will all come in handy at some point for the new baby, and she will very well prepared, rather than googling a product she wished she had at 4am to help the trapped baby wind!

There is also nothing wrong with chucking something in for mum either, obviously if she plans on breastfeeding, champagne won't be a great idea. Perhaps some posh choccies and some pampering goodies, or a voucher towards some new clothes at her fave store

Sorry, I went off on a right tangent then!!

HTH

Basically the etiquette is...you buy a present! It's a lose lose situation for an attendee.

In the past I've bought a nice photo frame and also generic baby gros.

I would tend to buy something 'better' once the baby is born.

In case you haven't got it from my post above, I frigging hate baby showers!

I have never been to either a wedding or baby shower (I just give baby gifts over a cuppa). I wouldn't dream of having a wedding shower - I don't really see the point?!?

'Yay, you are getting married in a month, here are some more presents. And a tenth toaster'.

Meh.

I had one (arranged in secret by some lovely hitchers!), it's was a garden party with lunch and a few baby related funny games. We sat in the garden, chatted & ate cake! I wasn't expecting gifts at all but most people did bring them. They ranged from smelliest for me to a few clothes & stuffed toys for C, to useful little things like talc and a bath thermometer! It wasn't about the gifts at all, it was about spending some time with the girls before the small arrived and everything changed!

I would always take something with me when going to someone's house, same as if I was going round for dinner - I would always take flowers/wine/dessert etc, doesn't have to be anything big or expensive.

They don't sit right with me, for several reasons that I can't articulate.

I would take sthing for the mum then visit as usual once baby is born with their gift.

I'd begrudgingly take something for the Mum, then a present for baby once it was born.

I hate hate hate the idea of baby showers, and stopped my friend in her tracks, when I discovered she was planning a shower for me.

Not sure what you can give though. It kind of seems like buying something just for the sake of it tbh.

I've never been invited to one/known anyone who was having one. I think I'd love to have one if/when, just because it would be a fun thing to do and a great excuse to see all my friends and eat cake! I'm put off by the idea that people think they have to bring gifts and therefore would probably not have one at all.

I've been to quite a few - most of them were for the ladies at work when I was at my old company. We always just got presents for the baby such clothes and useful stuff like nappies, lotions, wipes etc.

I've only been to one for a friend and she lives abroad so we wouldn't have seen her for months after the birth so again, we bought presents for baby. We just sent a card after baby was born.

I don't really have an issue with baby showers, it's just another American thing that's worked its way over here! I really hope the wedding shower thing doesn't though - I really don't get that!

I like them but I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of them is. I just like social gatherings of any sort so to get all gooey and fluffy over ickle dinky baby things would make me as happy as drinking through a penis straw and doing dares.

As for presents, I'd ask the organiser for guidance. My best mate organised mine and said that if anyone were to buy a present, it had to be less than £5 and preferably something funny. I got lots of pile cream, nipple cream, massive knickers, a rubber ring, a mirror and scissors (to trim down there!), terry nappies and then also got some cute little baby things from people who I might not see for a while after baby arrived.

My MIL threw a baby shower for me it was great fun and well organised. I received a mixture of gifts for me and little miss, if you've got something for the baby already but don't want to show up empty handed then just get something little but avoid baby clothes... Little miss has a triple wardrobe full of just 3-6 months and 8 boxes of 6-9 and 9-12 where people went mad over clothes.

I've been to two, both for Hs family. I bought one plain white baby grows, mittens and socks and a little toy. We bought a card and a little pink toy when baby arrived.

Second I bought a beautiful big white blanket and a sleep suit and a card and some flowers for mum when baby arrived.

If it was someone I had known better I might have got something a bit more useful, but I went with safe options!!