BT/WP Ref

Because quite a few otters have had some difficulties, either losses or struggling with ttc. I think that's the reason.

Don't know about the WP references, but I appreciate the BT ones as it gives me the opportunity to avoid them.

I'm not sure about the wp one either, can't remember when that started but I know I did it earlier too for some reason

I think it was just done to warn people of the content. Not that wp would offend anyone but it was just to make people aware.

I remember asking could people forewarn about the BT stuff as it happened to be a terrible time for some Otters and we suddenly seemed to get swamped by inexplicable kid related stuff out of the blue.

Maybe someone has got fed about WP? Though WPers can easily go to a specific place, whereas we had nothing for BT after they got rid of it. I don't really mind WP but would be irritated if there were lots of them, or if I was opening a misleading juicy sounding thread to see someone whining about chair covers or some such.

This. When I had my micarriages it was extremely upsetting to see BT stuff on OT. It was like you couldn't get away from it. There is a reason why there is more than one board. Really, BT stuff should now be on MD. OT can be a safe haven if you've had a loss or someone close to you has. It makes you avoid the whole thing when you need it most as people keep posting BT stuff on OT. Personally, iot's part of the reason I stepped away from here for a while. I did raise the subject, but all I got wss 'but I don't know anyone on BT (as it was then), which TBH, is childish and potentially upsetting to those in a sensitive situation.

I think WP is just a quick way of saying "I know this should really be on the WP board, but..." I don't know when it started though and it's not really necessary.

Like others have said, BT gives people who are having a hard time with baby stuff the opportunity to avoid it.

When the baby talk boards were closed, there were quite a few people who didn't want to move to mumdrum. So to avoid anyone it OT having to read anything BT related we agreed to flag posts with BT to give people the choice. WP references kind of followed on from that really as most of us are no longer wedding planning and although there is a another board for that, there are otters planning a wedding who feel more comfortable posting in here.

Am I the only one who feels that sometimes the labelling is a bit OTT though? I completely understand the need for putting BT in the title of a post that's predominantly child or baby related, but it seems like we're getting BT labels mid-post if anyone even mentions the word baby. Maybe I am just insensitive, and I'm happy to be corrected, but I don't see how slapping BT in front of something referencing a child briefly will stop anyone becoming upset, it's not far enough in advance for anyone to steer clear of the post, and quite often it's not really what I would consider baby talk. I completely agree that the majority of BT talk should be over on MD though, it's a nice place, honestly! For anyone interested in things BT it's really worth hanging out there for a bit. It's a totally different vibe to here, but not in a bad way.

It does seem a bit pointless (as in too-late) mid-post and I know I've done this.

I had wondered over the WP as well and just thought it had become a *thing*

I understand that bt is sensitive and that should be flagged up in the title.

But don't see the need for posts about things like what to wear to a wedding as a guest to be marked up 'wp', that's just general advice really and not likely to upset or offend anyone.

I'm not bothered about the WP reference.

I'm quite happy for baby related stuff to be over here and I think the BT reference in the title works well. I don't think members of this community should have to post on a completely separate forum just because what they're talking about is baby related.

Completely agree with this.

I agree with spikey. I've noticed BT in the titles of totally not BT things like buying a house as you'll be starting ttc soon. That's not going to upset anyone is it.

I know this is just a general example, but when you have suffered a loss anything mentioning TTC or BT can be really upsetting. At risk of sounding cliquey I believe that unless you have experienced the impossibly deep sorrow of the loss of a baby, you're never going to understand the depth of the pain or how little it takes to twist that particular knife.

And none of us can know how soemone else reading our posts will receive them.

I had a miscarriage before I got married and so I totally understand the pain and as horrible as this sounds, after it happened, I wanted to punch anyone who mentioned being pregnant or moaned about their "brats", or bragged about their little angels.

So, if I ever need to mention anything about my child on here, I am best to put a BT ref in the title. I hope I've not already upset anyone at any point. I am not sure how much I have mentioned my child on here in the past but the note is heeded now!

WACS

I dont care about the WP 'tag'. But the BT / BT ref should stay. I like to know what to expect before diving in.

Its hard to see any mention of babies/TTC/pregnancy in posts. When it has happened to you, sometimes, any mention of anything related to babies feels like a punch in the stomach. My MIL told me once that one of the therapists at her beauty salon was pregnant and I nearly cried. She's nothing to do with me at all so I dont know why but I did. Unless you have been through the loss of a baby/pregnancy or struggled to conceive like so many of our Hitchers sadly have, there is no way anyone can comprehend how it feels.

I think its a good system, and I really hope it stays.

And I think this is why I would use the bt. I don't know what may and may not upset someone with a bt related post so I would rather err on the side of caution than upset a friend. The way I see it I wouldn't chat to a friend in person who had just lost a baby that my sister had just found herself pregnant without trying and I would want to communicate it on here without the appropriate warning either.

Does that sentence make any sense?

I think it can be too, but I understand why it is used. I don't get the new WP ref though...

I agree the BT is needed but WP is not, unless to warn us that it's going to be dull!

But... and this is probably an unpopular opinion... I don't think that BT in the post should be a green light to discuss all things pregnancy and baby related. It's ok now but a while ago there were lots of minor BT related posts, things like that should just be kept for mumdrum or another baby forum IMO.*

*Obviously I don't mean BA's etc.

Not unpopular at all (not with me anyway).

I strongly suspect that the good people at Hitched had no idea of the deeper feelings of their users when they removed Baby Talk and started Mumdrum. When BT was a board here, it seemed easier to chop and change between the two - BT and OT. Now MD is completely separate the gap betweeen them seems larger. Hence there will be more BT references on OT where people feel known and comfortable.

However, it does mean that there are more baby references on OT and as Sange said upthread, this ought to be a place where we can come for support and fun and not with any sense of dread.

I hope the "BT" in the thread title is here to stay.

I've never been able to get into MD tbh and one of the main reasons is that although I know a lot of people from Hitched now use MD, I've been out of the loop too long and people over there have different user names so I get a bit lost as to who is who. I preferred it when BT was on here.

Can I just point out that when I started this thread, I wasn't suggesting the ref in thread titles was unnecessary, I just wanted to make sure I knew the etiquette and that I didn't upsetting anyone.

WRT to overzealous labelling of threads as BT, I would rather see that than risk some of our dear Otters who've gone through hell lately being upset by an unexpected reference to babies/children.

In general, I don't see the point of the WP labels other than as shorthand for "sorry for posting this here as it should be in the WP forum".

I agree with AC that without the BT board here, there is more of a gulf. I have lurked on MD a little, but I do find that even the OT board there is filled with stuff about kids and babies. They dont seem to have the variety of topics that we do here, if that makes sense? Hence why I've never posted.

I loved the BT forum on here. I think I've posted on MD once. Just don't like it.

MD is a baby forum. Thats why OT is full of baby stuff. We aren't, hence 'BT' in the title.

Panj I know you didnt think it should be stopped, and i'm sure you havent upset anyone! x

Fair enough. I would consider myself a thoughtful and considerate person and would never deliberately upset anyone but I obviously underestimated how the slightest mention of the term might affect someone. As you say it is because I haven't been there.