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Beginner March 2008

Buttonhole / coursage dilemma!

nikkithomson, 26 January, 2009 at 15:44 Posted on Planning 0 11

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Hi girls!

Well I only have a few weeks left til my wedding and have religiously read posts on here for that past few months but never actually written anything, and thought it was about time I did!!

I’m having a flower dilemma… we were just planning to do buttonholes for H2B, BM and 2 dads, and coursages for 2 mums. However, his Nan commented the other day on having to have a coursage as she’s the grandmother.

Which got me thinking, maybe she’s right and we should show our respect for grandparents and give them flowers too. I have a grandmother, grandfather and step-grandmother (who’s been in my life over 20 years).

That led me on to think if we’re making our grandparents feel special, is that gonna upset brothers and sisters – especially as my sister is MoH, so if my mum, dad and sis and grandparents have flowers, my brother will be the only one without. That means we’d have to do his 2 sisters and brother 2.

And then (now this is getting ridiculous) my 2 aunties who have known me all my life, might then feel left out and feel as if they’re not special enough to get flowers, and if I did them for them, I’d have to do their husbands too.

I would draw the line at cousins!!

So I have now going from a tiny list of 4 buttonholes and 2 coursages, to 9 buttonholes and 9 coursages!

So my question is, who are you doing flowers for?! I like the idea of making grandparents, aunties, brothers and sisters etc feel special, but where do you stop!? We only have about 50 people coming, so at this rate half of them will be wearing flowers (not to mention the cost!)

Thanks!!

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11 replies

Latest activity by bookgirl, 27 January, 2009 at 15:43

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cantwait2bMrsC · 26 January, 2009 at 15:50
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I know how you feel as mine/H2B's "immediate" family is already quite big as both sets of parents are divorced and new partners involved! I think my flowers will be buttonholes for H2B, best man and 2 ushers, my dad, H2B's dad and also stepfather. Corsages will be my mum, H2B's mum and also my dad's partner. My 4 BM's will also have small bouquets or possibly just wrist corsages. Thats plenty as far as i'm concerned - if we start to include grandparents, siblings, aunties etc... it'll end up being everyone at the wedding and my budget wont go that far!!!
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bygeorge · 26 January, 2009 at 16:05
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You're much better off to stick to your guns and get buttonholes/corsages only for the bridal party and the Mums. That way, there's no favouritism! If anyone else really wants one, they can arrange to have one made themselves. It sounds hard but it is much easier that way. I've done weddings where we've made buttonholes for all the family and the vast majority are left in the box unused at the end of the service.
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Laura_Lee · 26 January, 2009 at 16:11
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We are having buttonholes for Groom, BM, ushers (2), Dads and my granddad - but he is the only grandparent we are lucky enough to still have with us - he will be 93 at the wedding! We are having coursages for the mums and our witnesses... TBH thats probably too much and we could have kept to just the men (minus granddad).

Could you prehaps explain to your grandmother the flowers you plan to be getting and tell her that you are happy to order some for her if she wants but also tell her how much she will owe you if she does? That way you are not saying "sort yourself out" but you won't have to do for everyone.
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Beginner May 2009
chicken82 · 26 January, 2009 at 16:44
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We are just having for the bridal party - button holes for the groom 2x best men, dads and page boys, then corsages for the mums. I am going to buy each mum a bouquet of flowers to thank them with too.
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Beginner August 2009
boogiebelle · 26 January, 2009 at 17:23
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We are having buttonholes for everyone with special ones for the bridal party. My Mum has a thing about everyone having one so as she is going to pay for them, am going to have them for the whole lot. Going to have roses for the bridal party and then something like carnations for the other guests.
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debs1701 · 26 January, 2009 at 17:49
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We are haing buttonholes/corsages for BM, GM, father of the bride, mother o the bride, mother of the groom, page boy and possibly ushers (if we are having any).

H2b hasn't decided on BM or GM yet and I want my older brother to be part of the bridal party so if he isn't chosen for any of those then he will be usher.

As for buttonholes for aunts and other extended family, in my experience they normally sort out their own...love the idea of including grandparents though! (unfortunately neither of us have any left), I honestly don't think anyone would feel left out if you included them.
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Snow Patroller · 26 January, 2009 at 18:05
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We had a corsage for my Mum and Mother in Law ...

My Pa, Father in Law, Step Father in Law, Grandad, Granny, Stepmum, Brothers, Sisters, their partners, Best Man and Page Boy had a single rose buttonhole. They ladies had silver wire with pearls to embellish their b/hole, and the men had beargrass embellishment.

My two best female friends has a wrist corsages.

We didn't do aunts, uncles etc as it would have just got silly. I think its your choice who gets what. Some of my guests arranged their own buttonholes so in photos, friends from Als' golf club have buttonholes as do other folk! It didn't matter - it was their choice to have those made up themselves.
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Sherrie H · 26 January, 2009 at 18:17
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It is usually the immediate Bridal Party but a lot of my Brides buy for the grannies as well.

Maybe you could just have a Double Buttonhole with Gypsophelia for the Grans to keep the costs down.
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Beginner May 2008
diamondsragirlsbestfriend! · 26 January, 2009 at 18:28
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I think we are going to stick to buttonholes for bridal party - H2B, BM, FOB, 1 Usher and Pageboy. Corsages for my Mum and MIL. Flowers for my 1 BM and flowergirl. I think that is pretty much the norm and no one else would expect to have one. Including grandparents is a nice idea (we unfortunately don't have any) but I would certainly draw the line after that.
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Beginner March 2008
nikkithomson · 27 January, 2009 at 12:14
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Thanks for your help everyone. Think maybe we'll just stick grandparents and leave it there. I think I'm probably just worrying too much, and maybe brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles won't even want them!! Thanks!
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Beginner August 2008
tempting-propositions · 27 January, 2009 at 14:35
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This sort of thing really does open up a whole new kettle of fish. I had orderd button holes for the groom/ushers and dads and corsages for the mums. Then the mil went and orderd carnation ones for Stus brothers and families (even though I don't like carnations arrgghh) and so I ended up having to order the same for my brother and his family so it didn't seem odd.

I think your decision sounds good, stick to the grandparents and save a fortune.
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Dedicated June 2007
bookgirl · 27 January, 2009 at 15:43
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WSS. We had buttonhole flowers for the groomsmen (2 ushers, one of whom was my brother, and best man) and the 2 dads, and corsages for our mums. My sister was a BM so had a bouquet, SIL didn't have anything, and nothing was said about this. Same with my 2 grandads, they didn't have buttonholes - otherwise, where do you stop?!
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