Cake help-please help I think it may be impossible..Now with pics

Bloody hell, I think I'd be telling the person to fuuck off and have fruit salad for dessert ?

WSS

This site seems to sell cakes that might be something you could base yours on (there are ingredients)

http://bluelotusproducts.co.uk/

Ok found this re the egg part and some advice:

https://cakebaker.co.uk/egg-free-cake.html

I would say oil instead of butter, but sugar free? It suggests banana in the above link guess you could use natural sweeteners like this?

A quick google suggests you can use some flax seed concoction or silken tofu as an egg replacement

also maybe find out if it is all the egg they cant eat - if they could have the whites or a pure albumen subsitute then it should be fairly easy

(alternatively suggest the fruit salad!)

?I wish I could, it's for an important client, it's has tickled me as he has self diagnosed himself with all these problems..

Zoe-I have looked on there and even thought about ordering one but it wouldn't get here on time,

One of the chefs I am working with told me to cut 2 pieces of cardboard and fill it with carob and put carob on the top and I should get about the same result as if I had baked it?

Found this but it does have a little bit of sugar in it: http://www.hub-uk.com/interesting02/gluten-free-baking.htm

Ticks all the other boxes lol

Thanks that looks promising, I have got sugar substitute, so it may be a winner, I am not making it until tomorrow it may have to be my HPAD.

Could you concoct something along the lines of a 'fridge cake' using vegan chocolate, maybe prunes soaked in armagnac (or orange juice if alcohol is a no-no).

It's the no-eggs thing that's the pain isn't it - how do you get anything 'cakey' in texture without the setting power of egg white.

You are welcome, I just hope it works

COULD you do something based on a scone like mixture with GF flour and margarine and some other liquid for the milk? Mybe with a dairy-free choc mouse filling to make it less dry?

I'd been tempted to just cook a standard cake and tell him it is gluten-free, sugar-free etc etc. ?

There is such a thing as raw chocolate cake. I know this as one of my clients had it as her wedding cake. She had it made for her buy a chef in London and it looked gorgeous but tasted utterly rank! It was incredibly heavy and not at all cake-like. It had the consistency of a tray bake type thing but much heavier. It was really difficult to cut too. She served it with soya cream which looked, smelt and tasted like emlusion paint 😄

It was dairy, gluten, sugar and egg free so fits your criteria exactly. I had a quick Google and came up with this: http://www.totalrawfood.com/recipes/&recipe_id=31 it even mentions the purple corn syrup stuff.

I'll try and see if I have any more information on the person who made it.

Really? I would never do that. I might if it was just that he didn't like those things, but if it was allergies/intolerances there is no way I would do that!

Could you not do a egg free sponge using gluten free flour with an olive oil spread instead of butter?Use sweetner instead of sugar.

Actually that sounds rank now I read it back.

My client had her cake made at VitaOrganic in Soho, I've Googled but only get general listings for the restaurant although I bet they'd help you if you called them.

Of course I wouldn't actually do that but I'd still be tempted to, IYSWIM - that is what I meant!

Ah yes, I can understand the temptation ?

I think I just misinterpreted your post.

I think the only kind of 'cake' that fitrs all that is one of these:

Whats the point in a cake with no cake ingredients? idiot. tell him its not possible without an egg or two. i dont see the point, it will taste like shyte anyway (no offence to your cooking ?)

Don't they use pureed prunes or some such in California instead of butter to make cakes? That may be a myth of course, just something I read somewhere....

Here we go: http://cholesterol-and-your-health.com/healthy-butter-substitute-tips-for-cooking-to-lower-cholesterol/

I'll go and have a look through H's macro books, there's bound to be something in there. Can you use things like Maple Syrup or would he count that as sugar?

Ok, what about something like this?

http://www.becomingwhole.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/06/carrot-cake-to-live-for.html

Or this using rice flour/gluten free flour

"chocolate layer cake with chocolate frosting

YIELD: 12 servings COOKING TIME: 1 1/2 hours

Once a month, when the moon is full, a luscious chocolate dessert such as this one appears on the menu at Angelica Kitchen. If you're looking for a delightfully rich cake that satisfies even the most hardcore chocolate lovers every time and yet has very little fat in the icing, stop here. The cake itself is moist and delicious; the icing provides a good wallop of chocolate flavor. It is definitely our top chocolate dessert and among the most popular items on the menu.


For the batter:

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
2 cups unbleached white flour
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 cup olive oil
3 cups maple syrup
2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar
4 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups water

For the frosting:

6 tablespoons agar flakes
1 1/2 cups water
3/4 cup cocoa powder
2 1/4 cups maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
4 1/2 tablespoons arrowroot
6 tablespoons plain soy milk

To prepare the cake:

• Preheat the oven to 350°F .
• Lightly oil and flour two 9-inch springform pans .
• Whisk together the flours, baking powder, baking soda, cocoa, cinnamon, and salt in a medium-size mixing bowl.
• In a separate mixing bowl, whisk together the oil, maple syrup, vinegar, vanilla, and water until emulsified.
• Using a wooden spoon, stir the wet and dry ingredients together; do not overmix .
• Divide the batter equally between the two cake pans and bake on the middle rack of the oven for 35 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean .
• Do not open the oven door for the first 30 minutes or the cake could collapse .
• Cool for 30 minutes before frosting.

• Place the agar flakes and 1 1/2. cups or water in a small saucepan over medium heat. Simmer and occasionally stir for 5 minutes or until the agar is dissolved .
• Whisk in the cocoa powder, maple syrup, sea salt, and vanilla extract.
• In a small mixing bowl, dissolve the arrowroot in the soy milk.
• Add this mixture to the agar mixture, raise the heat to medium, and simmer for 1 minute .
• Pour the frosting into an ovenproof glass pie plate and refrigerate until it becomes firm, approximately 20 minutes .
• Cut the frosting into squares and puree in a food processor until creamy.

http://www.pecanbread.com/new/recipes1.html

There's a recipe for eggless brownies here - about 2/3 of the way down.

Good luck!

I agree with suzi. he s self diagnosed, so wtf? its not like he s going to come out in hives is it? he sounds like a tosser.

TB. if youre reading this, the shrimps thing went well, but was REALLY hard work ?

You can get egg white substitute - I know a vegan friend of mine uses it.

I can't imagine anything cake-like without gluten, egg, dairy or sugar tasting particularly tasty though.

What's with the no sugar - I get you can be a gluten-intolerant vegan but no sugar?

OMG what a nightmare ! the only suggestion i have is to use spenda as the sugar substitute cos it still retrains its sweetness when cooking with it whist some of the other lose their sweet taste when you heat them god i dont envy u this task good luck

Thanks all.

Well the impossible cake is in the oven, I sort of botched several recipes, it is sugar free(using a sugar replacement stuff) egg free and gluten free thanks to Orgran and I have used an olive oil spread. I am not sure I will be able to remove it from the tin as it looked like a house brick when it went in? it also had the weird purple maize in it and several other things.

Nick-just seen pic, it's great, really original. I used to do stuff for them years back, they were always a bit thick? but lovely.

Please think of me, I feel this cake needs all the help it can? (the word "cake" been used very loosly)

I hope it comes out ok for you - can you taste a bit and do a report (with a picture)?

The cake (very loose term) is finished..

It is Gluten, egg, dairy and sugar free...and is like a brick,

post oven

finished.

Well I wonder what it tastes like, he had better bloody well eat it after the hassle youve had.

I made a spare but nobody will try it? . It looks rank tbh, but I well be truly pissed off if it doesn't meet the requirements.