can anyone give some advice CSA and privacy issue

Hi TM,

Me again lol. I think we live very similar lives in this respect.

My H pays through the CSA. It was our choice as he was paying for both kids but they were both refusing to provide evidence of receipt and kept asking for more (and mother2 does what your OH's ex does - money goes on booze and fags). Going through the CSA he ended up paying half what he was (although we still buy her school uniform). Perhaps they should have been grateful!

Anyway, the problems we had was that they took mother2's word about how much time we have B (she said one night a week when actually is 6 in every fortnight). We finally got something in writing from her but we also had to provide a full years calendar of times we'd had her!

Anyway, to your question. In theory, they shouldn't reveal anything about your H that isn't to do with the child he's paying maintenance for. I say in theory because you can never account for whether people do their job properly. All I would say is that sometimes they phone my H, ask him a security question which he gets wrong because he's forgotten (i.e. what his exact payment is or something) and then they terminate the call telling him he'll have to call back. So, my point is, finally, they do seem quite hot on only talking to the person concerned and not discussing things with people they shouldn't.

You may find she finds out anyway as his payments will go down as he will have another child who is living with him to provide for. I believe they allocate 20% of his salary to the child living with him and then take 15% of the remainder for the other.

Reading this back, i've babbled on and not really been much help. Sorry! I guess what i'm saying is it should be kept confidential.

I think our lives are one in the same baz lol,

im hoping they keep it quiet for now, im enjoying the fact she dosent know, because the minute she finds anything out she well i use the term poo poos things, lol

but she does, everything is tainted when she gets wind of anything, hopefully the CSA will keep quiet, from what ive read though lots of people have trouble with them, and they get 48,000 complaints a year, i know im sad with my statistics but im so worried,

im glad they ask for calenders etc we have every single thing written down with photo dates for evidence, shes petty and say we lie so needs must, it may just be me and with thinks being a little tight anyway at the minute, but £35 just for 4 days seems an awful lot when OH ex already gets child benefit and sick benefit for depression, maybe its just with money not being around much, but then we did choose to get married and have a baby, i just would like proof its going to the baby and not to the brewery

we have the baby now shes tucked up in her barbie bed, we get her till 4pm tomorrow now, mothers plans changed again surprise surprise, still wont let her be here for OH birthday on sunday though,

thanks for your help baz

lara x

I feel for you. Its so hard. Its frustrating when you have little power to change things.

I know what you mean about the money. I don't begrudge H's kids anything, in fact I feel very strongly that he should pay his share (but then so does he). Its just annoying that our hard earned money goes on his ex not his daughter. Try not to let it stress you out. I believe what goes around comes around, one day it'll be sorted and she will be the one that loses out.

You have every right to get married and have a baby so don't let her jealousy make you feel guilty. Just enjoy it.

Hope you have a nice time Sunday anyway. Perhaps you could also celebrate another day when the baby is with you.

Keep smiling

x

I know its a fine line between sounding like you begrudge the money for the baby and not wanting to hand it over to the mother. like you i have always strongly believed that you sound pay your way,

one day she will get bored of it all i hope,

got OH a birthday cake and a few gifts from the baby and we are going to have little party tomorrow, then im taking him to his favourite restaurant on sunday,

and im smiling through gritted teeth as the texts keep coming from her lol

thanks for everything and have a nice night

lara x