Can I have your thoughts on this please?

I'd go anyway!!! The cheek!!! However, its possible they've just forgotton to put +1 on the invites - people do sometimes. I doubt whether you turning up will effect the fine balance of evening guests anyway but if you do feel uncomfortable about it have your H2b ask. If he dosent want to be direct have him say something like - "wow thanks for the invite, me and 28/07/12bride were just wondering what time you wanted us there/are there any nice places to stay nearby/what the dress code is" etc x

I do think that is rude. i'd ask you H2B to confirm with the person before you go along but it is a bit rude.'ve been very conscious of inviting my friends other half even though we dont get on.

Not rude in my eyes. numbers may not allow other halves or they may not be able to afford it.

You don't know them so why does it bother you so much?! I'm not automatically giving all my guests a plus one. If he's got a bunch of other mates who are going then OH's aren't necesarily going to be invited if they aren't known. My OH was invited to a mates evening do late last year and went with his other mate (it was an old school friend), I don't really know the guy so wasn't offended and was glad I wasn't invited actually as I wouldn't have wanted to go!!!

I wouldn't be offended by this at all. And I definitely wouldn't turn up! Good grief!

Numbers may not allow for partners they don't know. So what? You don't know them so what do you care? My OH has been invited to loads of day and evening dos that I haven't and vice versa. Doesn't bother me a jot.

I didn't say I was bothered by it!!!!!

I just said I wasn't sure how I felt, purely out of curiousity I was wondering what peoples opinions were!

18 months ago it might have bothered me slightly but now when full swing into the Wedding plans I dont see a problem with it.

I'm only inviting my girlies to the day time, a lot are married or in long term relationships. But I dont have the money or space to have them and there OH, would rather have all the girls there than have to pick certain ones so they can come as a couple.

I really wouldnt take it personaly, think of the quiet night you can have in on your own! ha

I was just wondering what peoples opinions were, I realise it may be down to numbers and I'm not bothered as such. It's the first invite received where we haven't both been invited and was interested to see what people thought.

My friends & I were discussing this exact topic the other night; we were all agreed that unless you really know someone's partner there is no need to invite them. I think it's a traditional thing. But if I had 20 friends, and then could only invite 10 as all of their + 1's would be coming I'd be unimpressed. Of course if you know them, then that is different.

I wouldn't ask if I was invited and I most definitely wouldn't just turn up either. That would just cause embarrassment for the bride & groom who may have a very tight guest list, so I'd not want to upset their day at all.

See I'm giving all of my day and evening guests a +1 if I don't know their partners enough to be inviting them anyway, purely because I wouldn't like to go to a party alone and not everyone will know each other. I would rather my guests felt comfortable. It would be easier (read cheaper) if I wasn't though!

If I wasn't close or knew one of OH's friends very well then I wouldn't be offended if I didn't get an invite as I know how numbers and money can be tight and maybe not allow for +1's. We have a preference in terms of guests i.e all close family and friends and their partners (if they're in a long term relationship which would apply to you in this case) have priority and then if numbers allow we can ask people from work, family friends and other friends.

If your H2B has a group of friends going and none of their partner's have been invited then it's understandable from their point of view as it may save them the cost of say 10 people, however that being said leaving a long term partner off an invite is not something I would personally do, and if it was my wedding you'd have been included on the invite as you've been together 6 years and are getting married so even if I had only met you a couple of times I would invite you both, but we aren't as restricted with numbers.

What does your H2B say?

I think I would be marginally bothered but not enough to go along with him; I'm inviting evening guests because we can't afford to feed everyone, but some have food and then more food in the evening, so that could be why, plus drinks packages, etc.

It's quite common these days, we're all feeling the pinch and it could purely be down to money/numbers, I can't see it as being personal as they've only met you in passing once or twice anyway.

We've had to be brutal with our guestlist too. I have 3 or 4 friends I know from the pub that I'd like to come to the evening do and they are all married but their blokes don't go to the pub so I've never met them so they won't be invited. Yes, in an ideal world I would, I am feeling slightly guilty about not inviting their partners but if it means I can invite 4 other people I DO know and I want to be there then it makes sense.

Must admit ladies, there is no way I would invite a married friend and not invite their spouse! I just couldn't bring myself to do that! And yes, I would be offended if my fiance got an invite and I didn't.....unless they didn't know he was in a serious relationship, in which case they can't be that good friends? x Just my opinion x

I have to agree with Nutella and Kharv.

If I didn't know the person, I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if only slightly disappointed that I couldn't spy on someone else's wedding! Especially for an evening invite.

People can't always afford to invite everyone they'd like to unfortunately.

Were having a rule, if our friends have been with their partners for at least 6 months by the time we send out our invites then they can come but if not then I dont see the need to invite them. we only have small numbers and our guests all know each other anyway so no one will feel uncomfortable. I would be abit upset if my other half got an invite now and i wasnt invited but would just get him to check if i was invited too as like someone else said they may have just forgot to put plus one on.

Me personally have a couple of oh's friends coming and will add +1 on the invite, as it wouldnt feel right to me not inviting them, but each to their own. I bet its just down to money/numbers, certainly dont think its personal hun x

I'd be offended now I'm married because I'd feel like someone was expecting my H to celebrate their marriage, but they weren't willing to respect ours in return. HOWEVER, I wouldn't mind if it was a work colleague or someone who usually meets him in a group e.g. if he was in a footy team or something, as then they can all go together.

If we weren't married though and I didn't know them then I wouldn't mind. It'd be unlikely as I know all his friends.

Also I wouldn't differentiate between day and evening... we had our main sit-down meal in the evening and had to be tight on who was invited, it certainly wasn't a free-for-all buffet or anything.

We often have invites directed at one of us or the other - it works well with childcare arrangements. Also, it's great that my Hubby goes out and has a hood laugh with his mates - he has a hard week at work, and I want him to go out and enjoy himself. Likewise, I think that he is more than happy (or more like relieved) to escape me and the girls getting togther having a good old catch up when we get together.?

OH was very offended when I was invited to a friend's wedding without him, he'd've been fine with evening and me for the day, but not being invited at all, and dismissed as a "random other" in the website FAQs was probably the main cause of offence. Caused major ructions as we were in the process of sorting our guest list at the time.

Friends who had a relatively small wedding on a limited budget went with a 6 month fule for partners rather than deciding if they knew them well enough, which I thought made more sense, particularly for a wedding further away from a lot of the guests.

We're being very flexible on plus ones, I just want a name at the RSVP date because I'm not having "X's guest" on my table plan. But our wedding is a good 3 hour plus drive, and in a holiday friendly location, so we're hoping people might come for a couple of days' holiday.

All our invites include a plus 1.

I wouldn't be offended, or care particularly in your case, but I agree with you that I would have 'noticed' that I was not invited.

Initially I thought this was rude, and I wouldn't like it if my OH had an invite like it!

But then I took a second thought and actually I guess it depends on the circumstances as I am inviting all my work colleagues to my wedding and potentially may not invite their partners as I don't know them properly and I think the girls will have a better time in a girly group rather than being partnered off as think they'll feel the need to 'keep their OH company' if that makes sense?

Am I being a hypocrite?

I might still invite their partners I'm undecided lol

I think my opinion on this has definitely altered since I started planning a wedding and trying to keep our own numbers down! I wouldn't mind at all being left off an invitation if I didn't know the couple, but if it was the other way round and I was invited but OH wasn't I might be less likely to go, depending who else I would know, as sometimes awkward being by yourself and having to drive on your own etc. I think lots of invites are purely based on budget or venue numbers, def not personal. I'm inviting lots of the girls I work with and none of their plus ones - I've never met most of them and think they'd probbaly have a better night as a big group of girls than with couples when they don't know each other's OHs. And from my point of view, as others have said, I'd rather have more of the people I do know than half the number and their OHs