Can you let an argument go?

It would depend on the subject matter and what had been said. If the argument was about, for example, politics, and was heated but impersonal, I could let it go. If personal comments had been made, I couldn't

L
xx

I agree, it depends on how personal/hurtful the comments were.

Depends what it was the argument was over

I will not forgive or forget things my step mother has said to me

Thats a difficult one to answer. It would depend on how important it is, whether I have felt I have got my point across and who it was with. However I do like to have the last word as well ? and I bear grudges badly so I may let it go but their card may be marked for future reference. ?

My husband can but I can't at all which drives me mad as I like to sort things out not just say forget it.

If we could just sort a row out I could then move on but he winds me up saying just forget it. We are chalk and cheese in this respect.

quote:Originally posted by bettyb
Thats a difficult one to answer. It would depend on how important it is, whether I have felt I have got my point across and who it was with. However I do like to have the last word as well ? and I bear grudges badly so I may let it go but their card may be marked for future reference. ?

id="quote">

Same here ?

The reason i asked is if my H and I have a row (which isn't very often) it doesn't matter how big it is, we could have not spoken for 2 days, he can then say to me 'ok let's just forget about it' but i always think 'don't you want to sort it out or talk about it'. He never does and can quite easily go back to normal.

I almost always can. I find if I forget about it for a while it generally seems so much less important than the relationship I have with the person, the anger disappears and I usually am able to see where they're coming from. I still might think they're wrong, but I can understand why they think they're right and don't feel compelled to make them see it my way.

It's not something I consciously try to do, it just happens.

MrSc. is similar - when we row we tend to back off from each other quickly (before things really blow up) and both spend some time sulking/seething/away from each other, before talking about it at a much later date, when more often than not we can appreciate the other's point of view.

Instead of just forgetting about it and "letting it go" would it be possible for you to both sit down and discuss the reason for the argument in the first place?

When H and I argue (and he's so placid thats hardly ever!) we take time out (normally I'll go upstairs in a strop[:I]) and then we'll sit down and just have a chat about what was said, what the problem is and what we could do about it.