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hez2203
Beginner July 2021

Cant Decide

hez2203, 6 July, 2016 at 19:56 Posted on Planning 0 9

Hello Fellow Brides,

I have no idea what I am doing!!! haha

My Fiance and I would like to get married in 2019. I have started to look at venues and I love the look of one.... However, With speaking to my mother she doesn't understand why I want a big fancy castle when I could get married in a cheap hotel and save loads of money. I am extremely thankful and extremely lucky my dad said he would pay for the venue.

With this being said I have always wanted to get married in a Scottish castle.

I now find myself questioning myself and my Favorite venue. I have no idea what to do... my dad is saying just go for what I want. My fiance is saying I should go for what I want but it's not what he is used to and doesn't understand why I want a castle. Then my mother is saying to go get married somewhere like a nice hotel. Which I wouldn't mind doing but it's not what I want......

So my question is.... Should I go for what I want? or think about the money?

9 replies

Latest activity by Ash953, 8 July, 2016 at 12:23
  • M
    Beginner May 2017
    MrsW2017 ·
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    Go for what you want!!! You only get married once and you don't want to look back and regret anything. And if your dad is happy paying for it... I would just make sure he is fully aware of the cost and is happy with that

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  • S
    Beginner May 2017
    Slink ·
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    Do what you want if you can afford it. You will only do it once and you don't want to look back and wonder why you didn't do what you wanted.

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  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    I agree. If you can afford it and dad is happy with the cost have what you want and not what others think is good enough for you. In my experience hubbys tend to be happy with what makes you happy. So you don't have to worry about him too much. It's your wedding not mums. Congratulations! Welcome to hitched. X

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  • M
    Beginner August 2016
    Mrs-Riley ·
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    You should go for what you both want - I know you say your fiance has said go for it, but is he going to change his mind, seen as though you've already pointed out he would have never of thought of a castle.

    To be honest, I always think about the money for our wedding (we have managed to get all of ours for just under £4,000) and we haven't got a 'cheap hotel'. We've had help with some money and we've still kept it relatively low key, as though we're spending our own money, as we'd like to get a house this time next year.

    But if your Dad is offering you the money and it is giving you the opportunity to have the castle of your dreams, then go for it.

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  • Stephisaur
    Beginner April 2017
    Stephisaur ·
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    I know I *should* say that you should pick a venue that you both love, but the cold hard truth is that I booked our Wedding venue before we got engaged! Haha

    There were reasons and h2b wasn't completely against me doing so to secure our date, but this is your post not mine. He finally saw the venue about a month after the proposal.

    I think you need to look at why you want to get married in a castle, and then look at the Pros and Cons. I know people who wanted to get married in a castle but it was a logistical nightmare getting all the family up to Scotland and arranging catering etc etc.

    You have plenty of time yet, so you needn't rush anything. Have a sit down with your fiancé and really think about your Wedding vision. Ignore everyone else, this is your day Smiley smile

    x

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  • DreamsComeTrue2015
    Beginner July 2017
    DreamsComeTrue2015 ·
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    Go and see different venues. I was adamant I didn't want a hotel but we saw Houston House in Broxburn and it was gorgeous. We have gone for Gean House in Alloa in the end but if my fiance had hated Gean House we would probably have booked Houston House - even though it was everything I thought I didn't want. It just wasn't as bad in real life as I had made it look in my head!

    You should ultimately get the venue you want and that your dad is happy paying for. I'd take them to open evenings. You have loads of time so go and see a few (more free cake samples and bubbly for you anyway haha!) and let them see why you love the castle idea. They will come around when they are in the venue and can imagine you getting married there.

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  • MetalBride
    Beginner April 2018
    MetalBride ·
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    Don't worry about your mum, mine's just the same :-) choose where you and your H2b want, it took ages to get mine to voice an opinion!

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  • L
    Beginner May 2017
    lucyjo ·
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    View quoted message

    This. I would agree with everyone else that it's your day, so you have what you and H2B want (assuming your dad can afford it!). But as you're asking this question it sounds like you're still a bit torn between splashing out or saving some pennies. Ask yourself why you want a big castle. Is it for the photos? Or because it's always been a childhood dream? What else might you/your dad want/need to spend the money on in the future? Would you rather he helped you out with a house deposit instead? If the thought of the castle gives you more warm and fuzzy feelings than the thought of anything else, then you've got your answer! Smiley laugh

    We bought a house around the time we got engaged, so we've had to make decisions like: live band or new carpets...flower arrangements or new garden furniture....vintage car or new front door. There have been some majorly tough calls!

    x

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  • T
    Beginner May 2016
    Tidal Wave ·
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    This may sound a bit callous, but temporarily ignore your mum.

    If it has been your dream since you were a little kid and your dad is happy to pay for it, but now you've got money worries and want to save him some cash, and your OH is being a bit blokey about this. Make an appointment and get your dad and OH to look around. Your OH will then see why you want to get married there and may be a lot more understanding, and your dad will need to look around and talk costs. That way if he's happy with the price fine, if he isn't, no awkward glances and checking overdraft limits if you aren't with him being terribly excited.

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  • A
    Beginner March 2015
    Ash953 ·
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    I wanted to get married on the beach...but didn't end up doing it because there were other things that I wanted more that shifted the venue.

    If your dad is happy to pay the venue, and your finance likes the venue then book it. Obviously, work out if there are other things that the venue ticks e.g. catering, accommodation, etc.

    Each wedding is different.

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