Care Home Advice - Elderly Relative (poss sens)

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Has she been assessed by a psychiatrist to confirm diagnosis etc? GP needs to refer her if not. If she would be self-funding the residential care, then your parents might be able to go about arranging this themselves, but I guess might need the social care assessment to say what type of home she needs and what level of care. It is difficult as I feel social services don't hurry to intervene when there are family members who they see as "managing". Have they tried to say to the social services that your grandmother is going to lose her place in her current accommodation? Maybe if they stress this aspect they'll act more quickly.

Thanks Mrsbunny, she has been assessed by a psychiatrist who has confimed diagnosis, she sees her GP regularly with my father as she takes sleeping tablets. She owns a flat in a warden assisted home, but because of the disruption the other residents want her to leave. So we would need to pay for her care out of the proceeds of this property.

Both parents have contacted Social Services and stated that she has been asked to leave but still no contact from them. It is quite difficult and I feel sorry for my parents, they are trying to do the right thing and no one is helping them, my father does have a brother but he does care what happens to her - lazy barsteward!

Thanks again

IPx

I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. It sounds a not dissimilar case to that of my aunt. She is also in her 80s and until earlier this year was living in a flat. It became clear that all was not weel - she too started knocking on fellow residents' doors at all hours of the day and night asking them for her tablets, etc. She started answering the door half-dressed, missing appointments, complaining about weird things etc.

We had to arrange for her doctor to come and assess her and he made interim arrangements for her to go into hospital (as she also has a leg ulcer with complications, and degeneration of the spine). From there, she was transferred to a care home specailising in dementia. She was then sent home but it quickly became clear she was no longer able to care for herself, and we were able to get her back to the care home.

I don't mean to go on about my problems when I'm meaning to answer yours, but maybe my experience can help you see another route through? I'd def recommend getting the local GP on side and ask for his/her support. From there, proper assessments can be made and your gran can get the care she needs.

In our experience the soc services team were worse than useless and did nothing to help or support us, and did not do any of the things they agreed to do.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. My gran-in-law needs a carer but social services were very useless, until she spent some time in hospital and this seemed to shift her up the list of priorities (which is ridiculous, if she had attention before she might have avoided hospital and all the costs to the taxpayer that involves).

I'm only really posting to let you know you are not alone, sadly it is a familiar tale. But I do hope something gets sorted out soon. I would make as much fuss as possible, email your MP, and all the rest of it.

Thanks for your post GMT, sorry to hear about your aunt - sad isn't it.

My dad is planning on discussing it with the Dr's, he was disappointed that a promised phone call from Social Services never came. He wants to do the right thing for his mum and obviously doesn't like the thought of her upsetting other elderly people in the home. Aggg

They were not even keen to assist with respite care earlier on in the year, when my parents needed a long deserved weekend away.

IPx

Hi,

I know how your are feeling both my maternal grandparents are now in care homes.

As she is registered with dementia she will need to go to a dementia registered care home. I don't know the ins and outs of Social Services but I would suggest looking around at some suitable homes in the area, go and visit them. Talk to the home manager, find out if rooms are available and how much they cost. The home manager may be able to give you some advice on the process. I would also look into whether she is entitled to any attendance allowance as this would help for the cost.

If by selling the flat your grandmother would be able to fund her own place do your parents need to go through Social Services? I would check, they might be able to do it themselves. The GP might be able to tell you this.

I say this becaue according to Social Services my nan could live un assisted but her anxiety issues are so severe we decided to put her in a home and she is now much better. I am sure my mum did this without Social Services but I am not sure.

Good Luck, I know how hard it is. I would urge your parents (or you) to start looking into homes and being pushy.

Thanks Fimble and little_miss.

Thanks all, I will pass on your experiences and thoughts to dad. The problem with them selling her flat dad is finding out to be appointed as her 'power of attorney' to get the flat sold however the flat downstairs form nan has been empty for over 2 years. So we think selling it maybe a problem.

I will get them to start looking at homes - I will dig out some local ones for them to have a look at. I think my dad is scared because his father had altheizmers and died shortly after beinf put in the care home.

IP x

Hi IP

I'm not an expert but work as a Contract Manager for a Housing Association which manages 3 Care Homes for Mental Health and Learning Difficulties clients and 4 Sheltered Schemes for Older People.

You could check out the Care Quality Commission website ( https://www.cqc.org.uk/usingcareservices.cfm ) - they are the body responsible for regulating Care Homes and undertaking regular inspections. On this site you can search for local homes in your area, check out their quality ratings, see their recent Inspection Reports etc.

Regarding payments and getting Social Services to undertake a Care Assessment prepare yourself for a battle. The majority of Social Care Depts will only provide assistance if the client is deemed to be at 'critical' need hence why so many folks have had help after a stay in hospital - it's all to do with the ongoing squeeze on budgets etc. and unfortunately the preventative agenda in Social Care is a dim and distant memory - but if you and your folks stamp your feet hard enough you should be able to get through to someone.

Another option for you and your family to consider is the Extra Care model - this is basically sheltered or warden controlled accommodation but with additional Care being provided by staff on site - a kind of halway house between where Nan is now and a full on Care Home.

Although your Nan owning her current property makes this option a bit problematic as she would have to move into an Extra Care facility but if her Care Assessment decrees she needs a higher level of care than be provided in her current accommodation then Social Services HAVE to pay for any additional Care until her property can be sold. This also applies to payment of Care Home fees - again you may have to fight for this but they have a statutory duty to meet the needs identified in her Care Plan.

In the meantime you could consider provision of Domicillary Care which is basically a Carer visiting your Nan when she needs additional assistance - as agreed either with her/you directly or via a Care Plan following assessment by a Social Worker. You can find Domiciliary Care providers on the CQC website as they are also regulated by the Commission.

When/if you do go down the Care Home model then any reputable Care Home provider should have no problem with you going to visit, speaking to staff, speaking to existing residents (if they are agree and have the capacity) and with poking and prodding around. They should also allow your Nan to visit regularly before making a decision and even have overnight stays so that she can be sure that it is the right place for her (assuming she could cope with this of course).

Hope that helps and Good Luck!

T

x

Thank you so much Jacko ?, I have sent dad your reply.

Nan does have carer of sorts at the moment who heats up her lunch and sits with her for an hour. My mum showers and washes her and dad sorts out her medication and tidies up for her. They would do more but they run a shop full time for 6 days a week, so they now have no free time and are constantly tired/ upset ?. She does have good days but they are now so few compared with the bad days.

I do feel for the other ladies near her because she frightens them by knocking at all hours so now do not like talking to her or helping her.

IPx