Changing your surname

I'm changing my surname - have always wanted to as my maiden name is bizarre and uncommon and I don't like it.

However, I don't want to be Mrs L. I shall be Ms L. (Well, I may change my mind but that's up to me I suppose). We'll be announced at the reception as the newly married Firstname HIM and Firstname ME Surname.

Apparently blokie is taking my surname!

I'm rare you see as my family name dies with me, yet he has a Brother.

(this is possibly what won me the confetti award ?)

I'm taking my OH's name and will lose mine ☹️

When my brother got married he changed his surname to his wife's (our family name is THAT pants). When I tell people they still think it's a bit odd, and it does cause problems at customs etc when asked if he's ever gone by another name (as it's not accepted as normal for the man to change his name). I think you should just do what you like. I've had other family members marry and change both their surnames to a new shared name.

I'm taking his name and will be a Mrs. His name is only marginally better than my maiden name (in terms of people asking you to spell it!!) but I just like the tradition of taking his name and if/when we have children, they will also have his name.

My H2Bs surname is a normal fairly common name. I have nothing against the name itself and for a long time I had been thinking I would change mine. My surname is much less common but I quite like it and think it suits my first name as much, or more, than H2Bs surname. I don't want to go double-barelled as I think it will just be too long and confusing! I don't want to use my maiden name as a middle name either as I already have a middle name which I do not want to drop. H2B will not change to my surname or to any other surname. He does not mind if I want to change or stay as I am.

Pros of changing-

- Tradition (I'm not very traditional normally!)

- A joint 'family' name. (I would like this and it would be 'easier' if we have children)

- People will know that we are married (do I care)

- It would be easier to change it now, than decide a few years down the line to change it and have to explain to everyone I know that it's changed and why!

Cons-

- I would lose my family name and I feel like it is part of my identity.

- I have a career in my maiden name. Changing it might be a faff in the short term.

- Why should I change if he doesnt? :p

- People will NOT know that we are married (do I care?)

- I don't like 'Mrs'... or 'Ms'... (I'm in denial that I am actually old enough to marry)

- I have a strange fear of being treated differently after marriage. By keeping my name I feel like I'm keeping my independence and autonomy somehow... its strange..

I am definatly going to change my name cant wait x

I'm changing my surname to my OHs but am dropping my maiden name into my middle name as its part of who i am and i dont wnat to totally loose my identity.

Serifina you could always change your name on everything except for work...plenty of people in the medical profession do this and sure in others too where they built up reputation etc x

I am planning to change my surname to his, but keep my maiden name professionally. i don't really know why but it just makes me feel like i worked hard and got a degree and a postgrad professional degree and i should be able to keep that part of my life as MINE. but at the same time i like the idea of being called 'Mrs X' and having the same surname as our kids and i guess i am quite traditional in some ways. also he LOVES that i am willing to change - initially i said i wouldn't but i have given it some thought and i think it would make us feel like more of a 'real family'... also makes things mcuh easier in terms of bills, bank accounts, travel etc...

and yea would definitely say it's easier to change now than decide later! though of course one may feel differently after having kids xx

I am changing my surname - which will give me EXACTLY the same name as my best friend (first name and surname), spelt EXACTLY the same way - could get confusing!

I don't think I'd feel married if I kept my old name, plus my OH wouldn't be too happy if I didnt want to change my name!!

It should be your decision though, not his! Would he change HIS name if you asked him?

My hubby wasnt happy when I even TEASED him about keeping my name....... however, I told him i'll always be my maiden name and that cant be taken from me..... like; you can take the lass out of scotland but you cant take scotland out of the lass??

However, on marrying him, I 'inherited' my mothers maiden name, which she uses......thats a bit weird...

I'm changing mine to OH's. I like my surname, but I also like his, both are not really that common, but I'm looking forward to being Mrs J. Double barrelled definitely wouldn't work with our names!

I have got a huge dilema with the name change, in an ideal world I would take H2B's name but I have a little boy and there is no way in hell my ex hub will let me change his surname. I really really really don't want a different name to my son just goes against all my instincts, yet I don't wan't to keep my old married name when I am married to someone else. Does that make sense ?

No idea what to do sob sob sob .......

H2B and I already have 2 little boys aged 9 months and 3 years (yesterday!!). I hate the fact that they all have the same surname and I don't. So I can't wait to change my name! It'll make us a complete family unit ?

(hugs) I totally sympathise with you. It's a really difficult one...

This is what i replied to a post with the same discussion a few months back.......

I think i feel completly different from people on here as Im looking so forward to taking my fiance's name... i have never even concidered not taking it, its never even popped up in conversation. And to be honest id never thought about this topic until reading posts on here!! :-)
Im looking so forward to changing my name and using it... Its not that i dont like my surname as its never bothered me growing up.
Its very interesting to see how many people opt to keep their own name :-)

I think this will always be a good thread to read.

Nic x x

I will be changing my surname but keeping my maiden name at work most likely as I have about a billion business cards printed up and I can't be bothered with the hassle of getting them reprinted (and it's unfair on my employer asking them to pay for more) and also contacting clients to tell them my email address has changed etc. It's easier all round for it not to change at work but I can't wait to be Mrs M instead of Miss F!

I'm thinking that if I had children then I would consider calling them NAME MYSURNAME HISSURNAME so my surname was in there as a middle name but they didnt have the hassle of double-barrelled names...

hmm..

I've taken H's surname and have become a Mrs ? which I love!

Deep down there was never really any doubt about taking his name but I did briefly consider going double-barralled. Mum said it sounded posh lol.

*SENS* I also had a twinge of guilt I suppose about not using my maiden name mainly because of losing Dad just before the wedding. I kind of felt like I was giving up a part of him iyswim? But, I'm glad I went for the change and I'm still in the process of getting everything sorted.

I'll be taking OH's Surname but I don't want to only because I can't do his signature. lol Right now I'm Miss L McC and my sig is a big squiggle but I'll be Mrs L G. And I can't do a sig I like ☹️ lol How sad is that! lol Lxx

I'm changing! I'm a traditional girl when it comes to marriage.

I do feel a bit sad to think that i'll not be the same name as i've been for the last 32 years. But i'd never not consider not being Mrs T. We do joke about it and D wouldn't be happy if I didn't.. It's all part and parcel of the marriage. I wouldn't feel married without changing.

I'll be changing from Miss B W to Mrs B O'D! I've not practiced my new signature yet but it'll be strange having the apostrophe in there!

I'd get practising. lol it's weird writing a different sig!! I'm sorta getting used to practising it now though. lol Lxx

I decided that i would change my name to bluewater mysurname hissurname. but in the end i didn't - i've just taken his name. before getting married, i did have the same feelings as many here have already stated - i've done lots with my maiden name, felt like i would be losing my identity as me, would it make me feel separate from my family etc....

in the end, it actually feels right to have taken my H's name - i don't feel any less who i was before IYSWIM, i'm still the same person, i've just taken my H's name. i don't feel any less connected to my family, i guess i just feel more connected to H.

i am still debating as to which name i should put on my MSc certificate though... i finished it when i was still my maiden name, so i guess i should have that put on it...

I wouldn't have dreamed of not taking my H's surname as it makes me feel married and staying a Miss was like I was pretending I wasn't married. I just hate Ms so that would never have been an option. It's strange to hear Mrs X but I love it all the same. I'm sad I've lost my maiden name but don't feel less me or less part of my own family.

Taking H's name was like starting our own family unit even although we don't have a family together yet we will do one day.

There is no way on this earth i'm having a doubled barrelled name or keeping my maiden name!!!! my maiden name is unusual, long and difficult to spell and i spend years being teased over it!! my OH name is way more common, i can't wait my signature will be much easier the only thing i'll get annoyed with is the "e" on the end, but its better than having to spell the entire thing out like i have to do EVERY time now!!!

Definatly 100% agree with you here.

Nic x

hmm, I think a family is more about how you behave rather than what you are called.. but I take your point and it does present a united appearance to outsiders. However, do you have to take HIS name to create this.. why not a totally different one that doesn't imply you are being 'taken over' by your H2B.

As I say, Im not 100% sure what Im doing yet... but want to create some good discussion to help me decide :p

Im still deciding...I really love my sirname, and I dont want to lose it, and to be honest I dont like Oh's sirname at all, I asked him if he would consider changing his name to mine but i got a swift **** off which was nice and polite of him, all joking aside he then said sorry but he is the only one who can carry on his family name (even though he has a brother but he doesnt want kids ) so im left deciding wether to double barrel or just take his name....decisions decisions!

I never really thought of not changing, my surname is smith (never asked how to spell it!) & H2B is walker so no problems spelling on either side.

i think it shows more a united side like a few others have said, n easier with kids. just can't wait to be Mrs Walker!

Its case of each to their own n doing what feels right for you.

Funnily enough this is a conversation h2b and I have yet to have. I was happy to take his name until my brother got engaged and his w2b doesn't want any kids so therefore my family name won't be carried on and I think it's such a shame.

I was thinking about double barrelling but not sure whether to put his surname first (T-C) or mine (C-T), do you have to do anthing different to double barrel your name?