Chat with Rev

Hi there, the initial meeting is just a formality. It is basically to find out in what way you are associated with the church. To establish that by getting married in the church it is because its what you believe and you want to be married in the eyes of god, not just cause it will make for pretty pictures. Check availability for dates, give you an idea of dosts for the church, speak to you about church attendance and get some info i.e addresses, date of birth etc. we then had a follow up couple of months later where the order of service was explained and what the vows mean and were given some examples of hymns and readings to look through and pick before we next meet again which is april. That will be when we give our chosen hymns and readings and ask any more questions.

Do you not know your vicar? Surely you have some idea of what 'chatting' with him will be like? Make him a brew and discuss his latest sermon?

Thanks Gemmy08. That's all I needed to know. I've 'chatted' with him at church but as he made a specific appointment to come round ours to chat I was guessing this is more a formal thing. x

I never knew they did that!

Lol mine did, but i suppose that doesn't necessarily apply to them all but I think in general it is what is meant to happen. I was glad though, as our minister had moved to a different Church about 3 months before we got engaged. He had married my parents, buried my Grand mother and christened both me and my brother, so I was a bit upset he wouldn't be taking our service as he is the lovliest man, but after meeting with our new minister I'm totally at ease now, shes great, and a real breath of fresh air.

No probs Stoice, good luck

I wonder if it's part of the process to meet and greet people who wouldn't normally be attendees of that (or any) church.

Possibly, I attend church with my Mum most weeks, but as I said we had a new minister. They do need a lot of info though that they probably wouldn't be able to get at a service. date of birth, address of oh. His parents names and occupations. Also even though I attend church regularly I haven't been to a wedding in mine since I was 9, so don't exactly remember how the service went, so it was nice to go through it and personally get to know our new minister

I wondered if it is actually a legal thing? As C of E vicars are legally allowed to marry to someone, like the registrar in a civil ceremony. The registrar has to speak to the couple before they give notice, so this is the equivalent before banns?

I'm not too sure, we're church of Ireland, I think it's cause our minister had forms to fill in for the legal bit and didn't have time to just do it after Sunday service maybe

Ah, of course, had forgotten this. So he will be taking notes of all the stuff I got asked at the register office, when I gave notice (occupations, places of birth etc).

Well our vicar came round last night for our official chat. It was nothing scary, ha ha, just discussing details really. He checked the exact spelling of our names, whether we would like all our names used when we say our vows (OH has two middle names, I have one. We've decided on first names only), who are going to be our witnesses, bridesmaids, ushers etc. (He said he would rather the witnesses printed with a readable name rather than a squiggly signature or else he said he would have to get in a registrar to do some extra work or something - not sure I fully understood, but it seems like a lot he was asking was for the certificate and therefore a 'legal' thing) He then ran through what would happen on the day and what hymns we had decided on, what readings etc. He was chuffed we had decided on a few things already but as we have 7 months to go he wasn't too stressed that we had things to sort. He'll email us with a basic run-down of everything we are having and we can edit or change our minds as much as we need to before the big day, then print an OoS etc.

Feels so real now somehow. On one hand we've got ages, on the other hand it feels like we've no time at all to sort things. So excitined though. Hope everyone elses plans are going ok.

We will have had at least four meetings with the vicar by the time we are married - but we are members of that church, so I think it's just the norm to meet up.