Church or Civil Ceremony?

Neither myself or my OH are religious so we are having a civil ceremony

Neither!

We are having a religious ceremony conducted in a hotel. We are both Christians but don't attend church regularly so would feel awkward getting married in a church! This way we get the best of both worlds!

We are having a church wedding, we are both catholics, and have catholic families, dont really go to church, only at christmas. But i have always wanted a quite traditional fairytale wedding in the countryside, which is what im having! Yay! ?

We're having a civil ceremony in a licenced venue as we felt it too hypocritical to have it in church... much to FMIL's chagrin!

We are having a civil ceremony. At first I immediately thought our wedding would be in a church, but then when I actually sat down and thought about it I realised that I'd only thought of that because of tradition, and actually it wasn't relevant to me or OH at all! We were both christened when we were young but we're not religious at all, and while I do have some of my own sort of spiritual beliefs, etc, they definitely aren't Christian.

So we decided that would both rather say vows that are personal to us and our relationship, not ones that are focused around a God and a faith that neither of us actually believe in - this is obviously not meant to offend anyone but we wouldn't want to say those vows if we didn't really mean them or fully believe them, if that makes sense. It just wouldn't be relevant for us and not really right either, in my opinion.

We absolutely fell in love with our venue too, a rustic converted country barn - so we wouldn't feel like we're 'losing out' or anything (for want of a better term!) on the beauty of a church, as we're getting a beautiful wedding venue and we're able to say vows that are much more meaningful to us.

It is interesting to see everyone's views on this subject and how different we all are.

Church - we don't go every week, the last time we went was Christmas, and that;s only because we are getting married in that church.

For us, personally a church is where people get married, and to get married elsewhere would not feel right for us.

I do have Christian beliefs even though I don't go to church or pray regularly, live in sin and swear quite a lot!

Im with you Zippy. Im not exactly religious, tbh I don't know what to believe in! But I don't think i would feel married if it wasn't in a church. I suppose OH is a bit more religious than me, but still quite unsure and he definitely wants they church so thats what we're doing.

I got slated on another forum when I first got engaged and asked about church marriages if you don't attend regularly.

Civil Ceremony at an approved venue......i am methodist and OH Roman Catholic however we are neither religeous or attend church regularly.... so it only felt right to be a civil ceremony.

I'm not religious, neither is my OH. However, our families are. I would christen our future children. But i couldn't see myself getting married in a church. I don't personally like registar offices purely because i live opposite one and it's too simple and i've never really liked hotel do's. Hence why i'm jetting off into the sunshine to get married on a beach under a gazebo! x

Civil Ceremony. I love beautiful old churches, but neither of us would feel comfortable saying religious vows knowing full well that we don't really believe in what we are saying.

We had a civil ceremony mainy because im CofE and husband is Catholic. I am more religious than him and his family and did sort of want a church wedding but refused to convert to Cathoicism and his family kicked off a bit when it suited them to be Catholic so to save a lot of arguements we had a civil ceremony in a hotel but to be honest it actually worked out better as erverything was in one place and there was not stress.

Civil ceremony. tbh, i dont think it even occured to either of us to have it in a church, we just straight away started looking at approved premises. I've never really been religious, im a sit on the fence agnostic!, and this might be really pathetic to some of you but after what h2b and i have been through in the past year its hard to believe theres a God, and if there is a God, i really dont want his blessing!!! Plus, we get the added bonus of havig ceremony and reception in one place so saving the cost of cars

I'm Christian and H2B is Muslim so civil ceremony, islamic contract and Church blessing phew (not all on the same day)!! However, things aren't so easy - we may not have a reception for H2B's side of the family at all because we're not sure if any of them will want to come ?

Civil Ceremony for me- Church was never really an option I would have considered. We are doing it at an approved premises rather than a registrar office however.

The only thing I fear i'll miss out on is the ceremony of it all, civil ceremony just seem so quick and over and done with!

We are having a civil ceremony in a n approved place. i am not religious at all so wouldnt like a church wedding. OH is catholic but doesnt go to church regularly.

We had a civil ceremony. like others on here, we did not want a church wedding as we are not religious and do not have any christian beliefs, and therefore why would we want to say some of the more important words we are going to say to a god we don't believe in? we were very clear that we wanted to believe in every word we were saying to each other. i get a bit ranty about brides that get married in churches for the sake of getting married in a church or just for nice pics.... ?

laurasj, you're not going to win with the ceremony lasting very long - the whole day flies by! our ceremony, with 2 readings, and 3 songs on during the signing of the register, lasted about 40 mins, which i didn't think was too bad.

40 minutes is a nice amount of time- I had visions of 5 minutes and over!

Church for us. We considered a civil ceremony as neither of us is particularly religious and we don't go to church regularly (that's mostly because of logisitics and other reasons though - OH plays Sunday football and I'm deaf so wouldn't get much from it) but on the other hand we both do have christian beliefs and we each agreed that we wouldn't feel 'properly' married unless it was in a church. lol, just read that back and it sounds contradictory, but at least I know what I mean!

Moonpig- I'm a Church-goer but having a civil ceremony because my OH is divorced. I find it hard at times, as I always wanted to get married in my School Chapel (convent girl!) and then I see/hear about people who book the church wedding purely for the pretty venue. Obviously that's a matter for them, but it just seems sad to reject a regular church-goer from having her wedding, where the only crime is that first time round my OH made a mistake.

Hope that doesn't sound moany...

Stazzle,

slightly OT but where are you getting married?

Im from near dartford )

I choose a church as I do believe and felt it was right for us

Hi Karen,

We're getting married at Cooling Castle Barn in Rochester, do you know it?

Oooh whereabouts are you? I'm originally from Sidcup but me and OH moved to Dartford about 2.5 years ago.

I know Cooling Barn its lovely!! we went to an evening wedding reception there and it was just beautiful!!

Im based in Welling - I moved there a couple of years ago )

Thanks Karen! I love it too.

Where are you getting married? I know Welling well. From your ticker it looks like you are getting married exactly 1 week before me.

We're egtting amrried at St. Michael and All Angels in Wilmington - a little way from our house but a friend introduced me to the church and I like the services!

How you got much organised for the big day? I have a dress, church, recpetion photographer and thats about it.. need to start bridesmaid shopping soon!

Don't think I've ever been to that church but I know Wilmington - we looked at Rowhill Grange there. Where is your reception?

Have got a few bits sorted but not nearly as much as a lot of other 2010 Hitchers! Have booked venue (obviously), photographer, videographer, florist, sorted invitations (family friend has made them for us) and have booked my first dress appointment in a couple of weeks time!

Yes I also need to start the bridesmaid stuff soon - I have a horrible feeling it's going to be a right pain! ?

Oooh where did you order your dress from, if you don't mind me asking?

Hi

Were having a civil ceremony neither of us are religious although MIL2b and FIL2b are preists!! but luckily they respect our views and are happy and not giving us any ear ache!!! Phew!! lol

We too are having a civil ceremony. I would have liked a church wedding but not too worried about it. H2b on the other hand point blank refused - he has no religious beliefs and feels that it would be hyppocritical (sorry about spelling!) if we had a christian ceremony.

I got my dress from Crayford - I had a dress flash the other day ?

I ended up going for a princessy one which I know isnt everyones taste but it felt right.

I keep having panics about our reception as its at swanley banqueting so hardly very posh but.. we did want to do the wedding on a budget and pay for it all ourselves so thats the sacrifice we have to make... the inside is very nice - its quite a small wedding breakfast 40 ish and the posher laces that do recpetion only havd mins of 70-80! so in having the ceremony venue we wanted we've made a small sacrifice with the reception but we're happy with that.. x

Ive made my invites I well printed them so just need to assemble and possibly have our car sorted so all is reasonably well at the moment

I didn't even know there was a bridal shop in Crayford, that's only down the road from me! Congrats on finding your dress, I must have missed the flash.

I'm a bit nervous about going to try them on as I think I'll either hate them all or love them all and look horrific in them! ? I'm sure I'll be fine but we'll find out soon enough.

Never been to Swanley Banqueting but I am sure it's lovely, plus as you said you're happy with it so that's the important thing! Plus with some fab decorations you can give most rooms an extra wow factor if they need it.

It's all getting quite exciting though...before we know it, it will be 2010! We were talking about Christmas the other day and it dawned on me that this would be my last Christmas of just buying a normal 'fiance' or 'boyfriend' card - next year I'll be buying husband ones! Seems quite a little thing I know, but it did sort of hit me! ?

The crayford one jhas a sale on at the moment and I saved £210 on my dress so muight be worth a visit.

Not sure how long the sale is on for though...

Another one here who's having neither!

We're hopefully getting married on the beach in Bali, but local laws mean it has to be a CofE service, apparently, so we're getting the best of both worlds really.

I would prefer a religious service so I feel 'properly' married, but we didn't want the fuss and expense of a church wedding and OH isn't religious at all - this way we're both happy as we've found a middle ground that works for us. And we get (pretty much) guaranteed sunshine??

Ours was a civil ceremony. We ouldn't have done it in a church even if we wanted to. Civil partnerships can only be a civil ceremony, churches are banned from allowing gay marriage even if they want to (don't even get me started!)

Which was fine for us, neither of us are church goers.