Church Wedding

Can I suggest that you visit this website: https://www.yourchurchwedding.org/ This will tell you all about a Church of England wedding. Other denominations I'm not sure about!!

Is your fiancée a church goer?

I don't understand having a church ceremony if neither of you are church goers!

Why not make your marriage vows to a god you don't believe in, I'm sure that wont cheapen the occasion at all.

Hi, first of all welcome and congratulations on your engagement.

Secondly can I ask why out of all possible venues available, you have chosen to get married in a place of God, if you are not a Church goer/believer? If it is simply because it looks amazing, i'm sure there are plenty of other venues you could choose for this. As a religious person I do find it a bit disappointing that people would choose to get married in a church simply for 'pretty photos', especially a random church that doesn't seem to have any signifigance to you?

'but I will try my all to get one'

What is the importance to you?

Just curious!

Good luck with your planning

First of Congratulations, i would go with the link stated above.

Im not a church goer but im having my weddng in one, its up to the person at the end of the day and i want my wedding to have a special wedding day feel.
To me it doesnt say wedding with out a church .... its tradditional.

All my family got married in a church.

As it say on the church of England website....i'll copy and paste:
Congratulations! You're welcome to marry in church whatever your beliefs, whether or not you are christened and whether or not you regularly go to church. And, marrying in church has never been easier - there are more churches to choose from then ever before.

I think giving him a hard time about it isn't the right thing to do.
And to be honest it isn't anyones business but his and his fiance. He only asked a simple question.

Oh right, I must not have had a "proper" wedding, so.

OP, if you believe in god but simply aren't that religious, I'm not going to argue. But if you don't believe in god, what value do your wedding vows have - you may as well make promises to Santa Claus.

I never said it wasn't a proper wedding so pull your head out of your arse. If i wasn't able to have a church wedding i would have just had it all done at the venue. My mum, her mum, ect ect all got married in a church and i want to carry on that traddition.

Im doing what i want for my wedding!! I want to get married in a church....im getting married in a church and my vicar was bloody lovely the whole way through.


Stop trying to argue for the sake of it.

I was asked by an old person why I hadn't 'got married properly' at an overly religious wedding I went to a month or so back.

apparently civil weddings are a sham. My response 'because I am an atheist' wasn't what they wanted to hear.

Hi and Congratulations on your engagement.

I am getting married in a Church of England, Church and to get married there you need to 1. Live in the area 2. Parents or Grandparents to have connections with the church, i am the same not really a church goer but I have connections with the church as my H2B parents were married there 27 years ago and to us this gives us a special meaning for the day.

i would suggest going on the above site as suggested in post 1 because this gives all the information you need. The Reverend will explain everything very clearly and you will have forms etc to fill in. Your Banns will be read at the church and on the 3rd Bann reading you will have a certificate provided (to legally be married) so i would say at least make an effort to attend mass the dates that your banns are read. Or you could show commitment by going to mass every other sunday .

Hope that helps!

That's nice.

you diddnt mention you had the whole family connection with your church though did you? You said it to you weddings = churches.

Sdurn it may well have been your choice of words because I know they made me a bit tetchy too.

'Special wedding day feel' and the reference to it not being a wedding to you without a church do imply you think civil ceremonies in venues are neither a real wedding nor 'special'

I think that a church with the bells and all the rest of it just screams wedding, when i was a child thinking of my big day i thought churches. The bells are going and everyone in the area knows there is a wedding going on . Its what i have always dreamt of so to me it just wouldn't be the same.

Im not saying if you dont get married in a church it isn't a proper wedding as i was happy to do so if i was unable to have the church.
My family Church doesn't have a vicar availble due to him retireing, they are fully booked due to having to share a vicar with the nearby town.. So i went with the church in my fathers Parish and the Church where sam's aunty and grandmother both got married. I wanted it to have a meaning. Not just to rock up to any church based on its looks!

Thats the thing about reading what people saying you take it how you want.

I didnt mean for it to come across snotty. so i apologise.

OP - unless you have lived in the parish for 6 months of your life, or your parents have, or you were christening in the church, or your parents or grandparents were married there you won't be able to marry there...unless you're prepared to attend for 6 months and become part of the congregation. And then the vicar would have to decide whether you must do that before they will agree to marry you, or if they're happy with your commitment to do this in the 6 months prior to your wedding. Depends how far away you live I suppose whether this is an option for you.

OP - unless you have lived in the parish for 6 months of your life, or your parents have, or you were christening in the church, or your parents or grandparents were married there you won't be able to marry there...unless you're prepared to attend for 6 months and become part of the congregation. And then the vicar would have to decide whether you must do that before they will agree to marry you, or if they're happy with your commitment to do this in the 6 months prior to your wedding. Depends how far away you live I suppose whether this is an option for you.

OP - unless you have lived in the parish for 6 months of your life, or your parents have, or you were christening in the church, or your parents or grandparents were married there you won't be able to marry there...unless you're prepared to attend for 6 months and become part of the congregation. And then the vicar would have to decide whether you must do that before they will agree to marry you, or if they're happy with your commitment to do this in the 6 months prior to your wedding. Depends how far away you live I suppose whether this is an option for you.

OP - unless you have lived in the parish for 6 months of your life, or your parents have, or you were christening in the church, or your parents or grandparents were married there you won't be able to marry there...unless you're prepared to attend for 6 months and become part of the congregation. And then the vicar would have to decide whether you must do that before they will agree to marry you, or if they're happy with your commitment to do this in the 6 months prior to your wedding. Depends how far away you live I suppose whether this is an option for you.

OP - unless you have lived in the parish for 6 months of your life, or your parents have, or you were christening in the church, or your parents or grandparents were married there you won't be able to marry there...unless you're prepared to attend for 6 months and become part of the congregation. And then the vicar would have to decide whether you must do that before they will agree to marry you, or if they're happy with your commitment to do this in the 6 months prior to your wedding. Depends how far away you live I suppose whether this is an option for you.

Has MrsLong been hacked? Or just really wanting to make her point

It is possible to get married in an out of parish church if the Vicar is amenable and you get a special licence/dispensation from the Bishop.

I am a believer and a regular churchgoer and I love it when people celebrate their marriage in our church.... even if we never see them again. I think it's a great thing, even if it is 'just for the photos'. I have never seen a couple who weren't affected by being in the church for their vows.

The general synod view is similar to mine, although not all clergy feel the same way, hence the need for the Vicar to be amenable.

Call the Vicar 'Reverend', ask for permission: it isn't automatic, and be prepared to explain why the venue has significance for you, over and above the prettiness.

Congratulations on your engagement. You are so right, the planning is very exciting! ?

Oops sorry! Don't know what happened there...silly iPhone!

Hi Gaz, congrats on your engagement! Is your Escrick venue The Parsonage? I've been there loads of times with work and the food has always been lovely plus they do the best homemade biscuits ever!

If you live in a parish you are entitled to get married in the (C of E) parish church whether or not you are a church goer. If you wish to get married in a church elsewhere you have to show a connection - there are various such as being christened or confirmed there, having parents who lived and attended there and so on (details are on the church of england website). The vicar can sort this out for you and help you determine eligibility.

If either or both of you are previously divorced your vicar MAY need to discuss the situation further with the Bishop but that varies from Diocese to Diocese.

If you want to marry in a redundant church you will then need the make an application for a special license - this is usually done by the vicar with a supporting letter from the Bishop.

Hope that's helpful!

PS - when you speak to the Vicar personally you don't call them Revd! You call them Mr xxx or Mrs xxx or Miss xxx. You may refer to them as the Revd A XXX to someone else and you should put Reverend on an envelope.

Hello,

We are having a church wedding basically have been told we need to live in the parish for three months at some point prior to the wedding or if either of our parents live in the parish that's fine too. Also if you do not meet the criteria still ask as they can apply for exceptions.

I basically rang up and said 'Hi, I am engaged and want to get married in your church'. He then wrote us in the diary for the date we wanted and said he would send us an information leaflet and a marriage application form and then if we still wanted to proceed to call and arrange a meeting. I had put off ringing for ages for fear of sounding like an idiot! Just remember, may be your first wedding but they have had that call many a time and I bet lots of people say daft stuff!!

Steph x

Hi and congratulations.

I'm getting married in August in my parents local church. The issue was that I wanted to get married at home (Nottingham) but I don't live there anymore and haven't for 15 years. I never attended church when I was there and I don't now where I currently live. My OH's parents are avid church goers and they wanted him to get married in a church and I wanted to get married in Nottingham (he is from St Albans). It was difficult but if you find a vicar in your parish and appeal to their better nature i'm sure it will be fine. There are a few rules that you need to follow as others have mentioned, but I don't see anyting wrong with it. Good luck.

Hi long time lurker on here but first post - getting married myself so its all getting 'real'!!

My FI and I are neither church-goers or particularly religious. He doesn't think about it much whereas I've thought about it a lot as I'm an over thinker of everything anyway. The strongest thing I could say is that I'm a spiritual agnostic.

However, the church was s centre of the community in the village where I grew up and where my parents still live and as for me marriage is about entering a commitment in front of your community/with their support, having the ceremony in a community centre was important to me.

I actually emailed our local Vicar to set up an initial meeting ("Hi, lived in the village previously, don't live there now, getting married, could we discuss" sort of vibe) then went to see him. We were easily eligible as we'd lived there but the key question for me was whether the Vicar thought my reasons inappropriate. I was VERY honest with him about my beliefs and opinions and made it clear that I would not be offended if he was to say it wasn't appropriate. What I got (and continue to get) in return is a very warm welcome and FI and I both feel very excited that we will be sharing our vows not only in front of friends and family but also in the presence of that 'community spirit'.

So my advice is to be polite and honest, vicars are just people at yhe end of the day. Respect them and you'll get respected back!