Civil or Religous

We didnt attend church for a church wedding. Just because your H isnt religious doesnt mean you cant have a church wedding. Its obviously important to you and would be meaningful still. You still make your vows to each other, god or no god. Saying that my dad and step mothers wedding was a civil ceremony in a beautiful intimate room at a hotel, with log fire and the most beautiful set up, and that was amazing and intimate.

First time round I wanted a church wedding but couldn't because exOH was divorced. We had a civil wedding at a stately home hotel, and we made it as unrushed and churchy as possible. We had music playing while guests were seated by the ushers, I walked down the aisle on my father's arm, we said our own vows as well as the legal civil bits (the registrar gave us loads of options for vows so we chose the longest versions of the necessary bits, then added our own too). We had 2 readings, and a recessional march just like from a church (it helped that the ceremony room was done with a proper aisle and we exited through a stone arch doorway like a traditional church. So if you decide a civil wedding is for you, with the right location it can certainly be just as grand.

I wouldn't make your decision based on whether the ceremonies are nice or not though. I'd come to a decision with your OH about whether to be married by the church or by the state. If he doesn't believe in God and isn't happy making those vows, then I don't see how you can have a religious wedding (why start a marriage with lies?).

We are doing civil ceremony in a regisrty office you can still have a reading as long as you tell them when you give notice but no religion at all is allowed, i was as a child religious but not now and my oh isn't so it suits us and our registry office is Bath's Guildhall which is very beautiful, also if you have a registrar come to a venue of your choice you can have whatever you like minus religion also you cannot walk down the aisle to the wedding march but you can choose some lovely music thats personal to you, i personally think civil ceremonies are more personal anyway, you can have own vows ect like any other service as long as you say the legal stuff, this is just my opinion but we are happy with it x

We're having a civil ceremony as my OH isn't religious at all and although I was brought up as a Catholic I don't believe in it anymore. Our registrar was rally keen to stress that we should make our ceremony as personal to us as possible, so we're writing our own vows and having three readings of our choosing. We've been to both religious and civil ceremonies and in my eyes as long as you put thought and effort into a civil ceremony is can be lovely.

Forgot to say our venue is already booked it is at a hotel and either civil or religous ceremony would be held there not in a church i thought that was not right for my OH to be married in a church when he is not religious

is it just a scottish thing for the minister to married you where you like?

my mums second marraige was in a golf course by a minister

thats why it really is which ever ceremony is better for us but i dont know eny diffrences as i have never seen a civil ceremony i tryed to youtube it but there is no full services?

Yes, it's only in Scotland that a minister will come to a hotel etc. If I were you I'd check the marriage service. I know that in ours (C of E) we make our vows "according to God's holy law" and pledge ourselves to each other "in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit". Surely if one of you doesn't believe in God, then it's impossible to make your wedding vows in good faith (if the Church of Scotland has the same wording)?

Actually you don't have to attend church to get married in a CofE church. This is because C of E is the recognised official religion of England, and as such any body who lives within the parish is entitled to be married or have their funeral in their local parish church. If you want to get married in a different parish you must be able to prove a connection to that church. We are getting married in a church in the parish where we lived till i was 18 (which is the reason i can get married there.) and i also had connections through my primary school and girl guides.

Also if you consider yourself religious but your OH isn't then you can still get married in a church. It applies under the same rule as above. But your OH needs to be comfortable too.

You can always have a civil ceremony and have a blessing later if its important to you.

And from what i've read on here civil ceremonies can be personalised to you and your OH.

But what about the OP wanting to say her vows in front of God? I don't think that you should focus on her OH's beliefs (or that OP should be without) when it might be really important to her to have a religious ceremony

So if one person is religious and one isn't, then their religious ceremony is a lie?

I think that you will know if a church ceremony is that important to you. Is your faith a part of your life or would you just be doing it for show?
I'd suggest you go to church a few times before you make your decision - it ought to help clarify things for you.

For myself, it was a complete deal breaker - no church ceremony, no wedding. But I understant it probably isn't like that for most people.

I can't believe you just said that.

Does the religious person's views (bride or groom) not count at all in your opinion?

I agree that it seems weird if you're both not religious

I'm not picking on you in particular. If anyone else, like enterflora, wants to answer then that's fine. But I don't see why someone should be denied a religious ceremony if their OH isn't religious.

They might go to church every Sunday, but it's being implied that it would be a lie for them to have a religious ceremony. I think that could be very hurtful

My OH isnt religious but he was the one that really wanted the church wedding.

He said to me that if we are doing it, it will be done properly, and if he says those vows that he will want the deaper meaning of it being said in a church.

We have been to many civil ceremonys, and for him they just dont seem the same or have that special something.

On the other hand, I am religious, but am not bothered by having it in a church or having a civil ceremony