I'm sorry if anyone find's this offensive but I have very mixed emotions at the moment and would like to know if anyone else has gone through the same. To cut a long story short I have been forced to 'sign on' and enquire about other benefits we may be entitled too. It is a decision I have put off for over a week, believe me I have tried to find jobs - everything from filling in applications to going into various places and enquiring. Until last week I was with an agency and for a while was getting 39hrs a week, suddenly it has all dried up. My C.V certainly is'nt bad, my second to last job was a pub manager. I feel like a failure, I have always been in work and growing up was taught that by having a job - no matter what it might be - make's you a 'worthier person' (once again sorry if anybody finds that offensive). I have even told H not to tell anyone, even our closest friends. I just feel so down and annoyed with myself, I know that there is'nt a lot of work around here at the moment, alot of people have told me that, but it still does'nt make me feel less of a failure.[:'(]
I fully expect to get a severe flaming for this post and I know it doe's read as 'Holier than thou' and very condescending but I really need to get this off my chest.
