Confidence Dip

Well Nayso, this just wont do!

where abouts are you? do you have a job to take your mind off it? It seems that you are spending too much time worrying about things. How about volunteering for a charity? or even a walk in the park shoud lift your spirits.

how about learning something from home? I'm going to be buying a calligraphy set either today or tomorrow so I can practise for the invites, things like this help me keep occupied (as well as cafe world on facebook - so sad!!) as I only work P/T

hope ur ok, add me on facebook if u want to chat at somepoint, im usually home in the mornings and after 6 - if you dont want to dont worry xxx (maxine pickston)

I hear you Sister!...

.....But I think this is to do with my weight issues (though OH says I have BDD).

I don't feel sexy, confident or attractive anymore and I never go out socially (though this is partly due to my Uni course too).

I'm sorry, I can't offer you any advice, but I can sympathise entirely.

Hugs ?

Thanks ladies,

Max, I have a job and am occupied all the time, I think this is an insecurity or self confidence thing. Everything in my life is good atm which makes me feel worse for feeling so low about myself, things could be so much worse and I am grateful that they aren't but it doesnt help shake the crappy lack of confidence. Thanks for offering a chat, will add you on facebook later today :-)

OLL, its nice to know someone feels the same. weird how you have an image of yourself that no one else seems to agree with. Its things like, I've put on weight, need my hair dyed but cant afford it, would love new clothes but cant afford it...etc etc.
I am not depressed, just a little low and not sure how to shake it.

It cant be much fun for the OH to have his usually bubbly lady down in the dumps... i think i need to talk to him about it.

Nayso, have a ?, I know exactly how you feel (except I've never had any self-confidence) and my OH is the same. He's lovely but when I'm feeling particularly down nothing he says picks me up. I usually find that it helps to take a step back from everything, leave the wp and everything else you can and just take some time for the two of you, no pressure or anything. I put on a lot of weight last year and spent some time in a wheelchair, I used to play sport competitively and this got to me a lot but OH was so supportive and now I've got most of my mobility back and we've started going for walks (just half an hour most evenings) and I'm on a diet. Talk to your OH about how you are feeling and see if there is an activity that you can do together in the evenings thats totally unrelated to everything else. If it helps I'm 23, been engaged almost 18 months now.

That was a bit of a ramble sorry but we're all here if you need to vent, everyone on here is so supportive!

Sorry your feeling so down! ? Can you not talk to OH and see if he can help you out with a bit of money and then take a day out to have your hair done, see some of your friends and maybe go out in the evening for drinks? We all need a break sometimes.

Sorry I cant help much more!

Jem, think im gonna give the WP a break this weekend, feel kinda silly now havin said how im feelin, you obviously went through a lot and understandably felt pretty low about it! Thinkin of just spendin some quality time with OH tonight, we live with our friend though, another guy and sometimes its hard to get time on our own. We're headin to see his family tomorrow also, so I think gettin my head out of my issues and cuddled into my mans arms is prob the best thing.
Thank you, you've helped me put this into perspective.

Moya, I think im gonna chat to OH about it tonight, he's making dinner so I might get a nice bath, paint my nails and pamper myself a bit.

Thank you girlies for the support. Its nice being able to chat to someone objective. xo

Glad it helped but I have felt like it for no reason before anyway. but spending time just the two of you should help. I really hope you start to feel better soon ?

SNAP!!!!

I also feel no-one gives two hoots about it either. Enjoy your night off cooking, I will be cooking yet again. woe is me. lol

I know exactly how you feel... I'm only just engaged and already everyones eyes glaze over as soon as I mention the "W" word.

Sounds like we are in exactly the same place. I think earlier advice about doing something OT is good, it is consuming me life. However can't have weekend off as got wedding fair at our venue and to my surprise my sister has insisted on coming, therefore so has my mum, dad and grandma (we are going to look so silly, like the Waltons on a day trip) lol. Hopefully I can put WP to bed next week - but what can I focus on? what you going to focus on?

Why dont you lock yourself in the bathroom with a lovely hot bath, lots of bubbles, strawberries (so u dont feel bad eating choc!), and have a little time by yourself and pampering session. it would be really cheap just maybe some fake tan, nail varnish, maybe a boots hair dye and give yourself a manicure and pedicure and RELAX. Focus on the positive things in life - it can be so easy to let the 'little' things get u down.

Also maybe see some good friends and have a girly night in with the x factor or bride wars!

Heads up, we all have down days, and try to focus on the good things and small things in life that make u happy like a sunny day. Excercise really helps taking my dog out or playing tennis gives me a real boost.

Hope u feel better! and CONGRATS on being engaged! xxx I'm 24 and been engaged about 3 weeks,sparkle has worn off a bit :-(

Charlied, I agree, i mean as much as im enjoying WP it needs to go on hold, as for something to concentrate on, im gonna take the girlies advice and concentrate on me this weekend. maybe you should do the same next weekend. enjoy the wedding fair though, mine is next weekend, hehe. first one so i'm pretty excited. Dunno what to expect. Maybe we should buddy up on some OT chat? ?

Snurton, I think i'll do all of the above tonight! OH is cookng me a steak dinner and we're just gonna chill out. Some me time is seriously called for. Weird isn't it how lack of pampering can get you down? anyway thanks for the advice, its nice to know im not alone in this. only ive been havin a down week rather than a down day... ahhh well... some extra pampering required ? Congrats to you too missis mrs to be xo

Well make sure you enjoy yourself this weekend(so jealous, steak is my fav!). Im going to make the most of having family members nosey interested in wedding, but next week will file it all away.

When you go to your fair just beware the 'pushy' ones. some are sooo in your face and Im rubbish at saying no to people and ended up giving my phone number to people (only when they asked) because I had no reason not too, but now seem to be stalked by a cake woman from down the road and found myself ducking and raising my hand to my face as I went past her shop the other day. SO my advice, go with a 'line' prepared for when they ask 'can I take your details?', something along the lines 'currently switching phones, so I'll call you.'

def up for OT chat x

Cheers charlied, ill keep your handy bridal fair tips in mind!

Thanks a million for all the advice girlies! I am now leaving work with a spring in my step, excited about my cuddly night in with OH. xoxoxoxoxo

Charlied you made me laugh about "the Waltons on a day trip"!!

Nayso, I know exactly how you feel. We've been saving for 18 months and got another 9 to go. I haven't bought clothes or had my hair done for as long as I can remember. I hardly ever go out apart from work or the gym cos we just haven't got the cash to spare. Feel like all I do is cook for h2b and sit around in tracky bottoms and an old jumper. He can't cook anything, not even a boiled egg so i literally do it all, including his packed lunch! It can get depressing but it will all be worth it in the end. I invite my friends round every week at least once, just make a pasta bake or something cheap and watch x factor. If it's any consolation I think a lot of us feel the same! I hate my job too so double depressing!

Hope you feel better soon Nayso ?

I have been through exactly the same thing as yourself, not long after we got engaged. I just had a little pamper night to myself and enjoyed my own company for a while and the next day spend the evening with friends. I'm going through another little low (but due to not having a job, therefore, no money) but I have found its better not to wallow (as I do and bottle it up) and to either talk to someone close (mine are H2B, mum and MOH) if I can't or don't want to talk to them, I write any issues down and the rip it up or burn it !! It is an amazing feeling afterwards, like all of the issues just disappear. This helps if you are an overthinker too (guilty again ☹️ )

Just a little update:

Friday night: All of our friends, including flatmate were going out and we couldn't afford to join so, as they left it gave me a proper opportunity to talk to OH about how I was feeling.
I got a little teary and he was soo good. He kept reassuring me that he loved me and fancied the pants off me (even though my roots were like a black cloud of death hanging over my head) and proceeded to help me put a die in my hair. While I was in the shower doing some pampering, he cooked me a steak and salad dinner (my favourite) and cracked open a bottle of bubbly. We then sat and talked for hours and ended up a little tipsy, resulting in the blasting of music and me dancing on our dinner table with OH bustin a groove on the kitchen floor. When it was time for bed, he challenged me to a wrestling match (which I won of course) and we feel asleep exhausted curled up together.

Saturday: The next day he took me to town and bought me some new clothes (H&M rocks) and we headed to his aunts for her birthday party...which ended up being a load of fun.

Sunday: We had friends arrive to go to a rock gig. I spent the whole night dancing like a maniac! Catching OH glancing over constantly, with my newly dyed blonde hair and my leather boots, I felt the sexiest I have done in a long time.

So thank you all so much for givin me a wee boost! It was much needed and greatly, greatly appreciated ❤️

So pleased you had such a good weekend. I on the other hand didn't, OH turned up late (had been helping is uncle) and I flipped and it all spilled out all in the wrong way, which isnt good as we never argue. Anyway we talked, a bit, and don't feel I've got anywhere. Not that its all his fault I just feel really low about everything, my job (don't know what to do, can't find wedding dress, got no money, yarda yarda, you know - the usual stuff. I just need a motivation and confidence boost.

Aww charlied, what happened with OH? Whats wrong with your job? Don't mean to be prying but you will prob get better advice. xo ?

Nothings wrong as such, but there is a distict lack of effort made at the mo (on both our parts), which I know is easy enough to sort. At work at mo doing part time temp, all in all my life is EXACTLY what I wanted it to be two years ago, I just think I am suffering from 'having it all' and not knowing what to do next, you know, that lack of direction, therefore everything in my life seems a little less rosey. It sounds pathetic because there are so many people out there who don't have the lovely life/easy life I have, now just got to work out what I want next.....off to try on more dresses, be back later.