Hi Guys,
some of you will know a little about my Nephew Cory from my wedding report but I have written this to send to a magazine which pays for stories as I would like to donate the money to Birmingham Childrens Hospital for Christmas presents...
Can you tell me if it's too "heavy" or if it's even the sort of thing to send?
I am writing this about my younger sister Tammy.
Tammy is 25 years old and at 19, found out she was a pregnant. She was told at over 6 months pregnant, that her baby had hydrocephalus (water on the brain). Perrified, she went to see a number of Doctors, Nurses and Specialist, to talk about what was happening. She was told many things and often different stories from doctor to doctor.
Tammy was told that she may not reach full term, that her baby might not survive the remainder of the pregnancy, that if she had the baby - he or she might not get through the first few days of life. She heard every word spoken by the specialists, sought much advice and many opinions, but was told by all that regardless to her decision, she would have to give birth to her child.
All of us, her whole family surrounded her to support whatever decision she made! She fought an emotional battle, agonising on what she should or could do, and after much soul searching, she told the doctors she wanted her baby.
Relentless and determined, Tammy went from doctor to doctor, appointment to appointment to learn what she might have yet to come. On Thursday February 13th 2003, Tammy was given a caesarean section and brought into the world her BABY BOY! Cory S*****, the most beautiful, beautiful boy! Blond hair and the bluest eyes. He was born weighing in at 5lbs and 13oz and was soon swept away to the hospitals Neonatal Unit.
It wasn’t long before Tammy was confronted with more decisions to make. The Doctors told her that Cory’s hydrocephalus needed treating, they told her they would need to fit a shunt into Cory’s head to drain the fluid from his brain, this baby boy had been given little or no chance of survival, yet here he was, living, breathing, FIGHTING and about to undergo surgery and with her agreement, they took Cory for his operation.
Success!
Cory returned from his surgery, shunt fitted and about to begin it’s job of draining the fluid from his brain. Yet, little did we know, this was only the beginning and Cory faced more challenges, diagnosed with Dandy Walker Syndrome, epilepsy, limited vision and he was fed through a tube in his nose (later replaced with a peg in his tummy) From the moment he was born, Tammy never left his side, she stayed in the hospital every single day and night, by his bedside on numerous occasions. She was so dedicated and determined to give Cory a “normal life” don’t you just hate that word? “Normal?” Because Cory was just Cory and perfect to all of us!
Tammy was an angel, truly an amazing mother. She doted on him, spent every waking hour with him, Cory was unable to walk or talk, but you knew he was there alright! He had numerous therapies including physio etc, to help with his development and Tammy was so consistent.
Cory might not have been able to say “hello” or “do that again” or “I don’t like that, but you know, he was able to tell us in his own way! His face and actions told a thousand stories. He would get excited when his Mom and Nanna & Granddad sang to him, his particular favourites was Mickey Mouse Hot Dog and McFly - All About You, the Hokey Cokey & Horsey Horsey, he would make a cycling motion with his legs to show you how much fun he as having, he‘d kick the foot rests on his chair to get your attention, similarly, he‘d express his disapproval at things he didn‘t like - he had a look which was dirty as mud and you‘d know he didn‘t like the particular
> > song you were singing or the tone of voice you were using.
Cory loved laughter, if he heard you laughing, he would smile and laugh with us. His smile lit up any room and he touched the hearts of all he met. Such a happy happy boy. The bond he had with Tammy was like nothing you have ever seen. She gave up her job to devote her every hour to him, not being able to bare time away from him. Tammy lived and breathed him, he would know when she was there and even if the room were full of people, he knew his Mom wasn’t. he only had to hear the pattern of her footsteps or her voice to know she was back in the room and his face filled with the hugest smile, sometimes, we’d hold him on our laps, and five he was a tall boy! Sometimes when we talked to him, he’d pretend he was asleep until his mommy came over and gave him a kiss or spoke and his cheeky face lit up and he would get excited, cycling his feet with a huge smile on his face!
Everyone had their own affectionate little names for him, but the main one was what his mommy called him, “Mommy’s Sunshine Boy” so apt as he brought sunshine into all of our lives. Tammy would take him on day trips and places where he would come in contact with bright lights, or sounds or different types of textures he could touch.
At 5 Cory was ready to go to school. He went to a local special school, but Tammy had to call it the “play Centre” because when you mentioned “school” he would do his I’m too tired face in the hope of not having to go!
For Cory’s 6th Birthday, Tammy arranged the usual special day for him, he had a party every year, this year, she booked an animal lady who was going to come with different creatures, furry, slimy, scaly all textures Cory would benefit from! She brought the balloons, party foods, goody bags, banners and the stuff for Nanna to make him a Mickey Mouse cake!
On Saturday 7th February, just 6 days before his 6th birthday, our world became dark, Cory died.
Tammy’s life was torn apart, her little fighter was gone. She held him in her arms with the most devastating cry you have ever heard, one that came from her stomach, one that ripped though our hearts, knowing we cold not ease her pain.
Her Sunshine Boy taken, her world filled with darkness. She spent so much time with him her life felt void. None of us could understand why this happy, smiley, beautiful boy was taken from us, from his Mommy.
Through the difficult days to follow, Tammy was inconsolable, not knowing what to do with herself, sat on the settee where she always sat with him holding his blanket and a lock of his hair in a locket around her neck. We knew however difficult this was, she needed to talk and soon she started talking about him, about her sunshine boy. She told us that we were not to avoid talking about her for fear of upsetting her, but to talk about Cory as much as we could because it was helping her. Knowing how perfect Cory’s every day was, she set about organising his funeral, making sure even in his passing he had the best of the best!
We got to Friday 13th February, what would be Cory’s 6th birthday and she asked us all to go as normal to celebrate his birthday for him, his Nanna still made his Mickey Mouse cake, we still brought his cards and Tammy filled the balloons with helium. She gave us all a little card to write a birthday message to him on and attached each one to a balloon and we all went outside to read out our birthday messages to him and let them go high up in the sky together. As we watched as they raised in the sky, the sun came out, and from now where, a feint rainbow appeared in the distance…Cory approved!
Everyone pulled together to help Tammy arrange Cory’s “journey to heaven”. He had a beautiful white carriage drawn by two white horses dressed in blue plumes. She asked everyone who went to dress in bright clothing. Cory loved colour! The service was beautiful, so personal, tributes from the family, Cory’s favourite songs were played, a slide show of just a few of the hundreds of photos everyone has of him was shown on a large screen, even one of the “knights in colourful armour” (pallbearers) was dressed as Winnie the Pooh!
Tammy, though so clearly consumed by her grief, stood in front of everyone to talk about her amazing Son Cory, her Sunshine Boy. She had to be held up as she shook talking about her son, pushing through the tears delivering her words which made us all ache for her. I wanted to scream from the rooftops at how proud I was of her, how proud we all were and of just how amazing she is! All of a sudden, so much put into perspective. Her selfless and devoted nature compelled us all. She truly is an inspiration to us all!
And even through all her grief, she managed to think about others, she accepted donations off all who came which she had pledged to split between Mayfield’s Special School (Cory’s school) and Birmingham Children’s Hospital, where Cory’s received treatment.
I hope anyone reading this who has been through difficult times can take inspiration from her and if they have only half her heart and strength, they will come through it.
We just wanted her to know… we are all in awe of you Tammy, every one of us blessed to have you and your Son in our lives. All of us proud to say you are family and we all know Cory will be PROUD and HONOURED to boast to the Angels that your his Sunshine Mommy!
From all of us…
