Couple of questions?

Regarding question 2:

I'm not sure if you've already sent out your invites. It sounds like you have. If so, and you gave open +1s -- meaning, you addressed your invitations to Mr. John Doe and Guest -- then I think you might have a hard time retracting now. Those that limit +1s to known SOs, typically address the invitation to specifically name that +1. It's difficult to call someone up and say, "I know I wrote 'and guest' but I only meant guests that we knew." It's much easier to have named the +1, and then if they later break up, to say, "we're only inviting people we actually know."

That being said, it's your wedding, and if you're willing to deal with the awkwardness of essentially recanting the +1 (at least that's how I would view it), then there's no reason you can't do it. Unless you have an outrageously large venue where capacity isn't an issue, you can always fib a bit and say that you're nearing capacity, and therefore, unfortunately, having to ask those bringing guests that you don't know if they would mind coming alone.

My dress place let me put down a deposit, I think everywhere does?

If you gave them a plus one, I don't think you can dictate who they bring I'm afraid, I wouldn't anyway x

1) Most bridal shops will let you pay a deposit. Common deposit is 50% of the dress cost but some take less. Make sure you ask about the cost of alterations too.

2) Agree with MAG2FMC - if you've addressed invitations and 'John and guest', you can't really retract that now. If you haven't yet sent your invites, just don't include plus ones if you don't know them - we didn't. The only time I gave an unknown plus one was if that guest wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.

3) I would call your registrar and clarify this.

Thank you everyone,

I have not yet sent out formal invites, I allowed a +1 for a friend who knows no one else at the wedding and her +1 is someone I know, however others now think they can bring +1's because she is. ☹️

You tell them no. Simple. No harm in explaining your reason either.

Will just add - about retracting +1s: one time I was a guest at a very small wedding of a good friend. There were a few of us who essentially acted as her BMs (put together her hen do, showers, went dress shopping with her, etc.), but who didn't stand up for her on the day because she only had her sister. At that time I was engaged; my fiance was invited and made plans to fly 3 hours to the wedding; and a few weeks before she asked if partly due to space but primarily due to that she wanted my 100% attention, if he would not attend.

I thought it was horribly bad form of her to retract the invitation, but in the end I complied (it was her day after all), and I got over it. Point is that, I would never retract, as I think it's poor form, but if you feel compelled to do so and have legitimate concerns over budget, etc., I think your guests will get over it too.

That's horrendous. I wouldn't have been so amenable about that!

For alot people + 1's are not an opinion either because of their max numbers or budget do not make it possible or just because they do not want to pay out for a meal for someone they do not know.

This is the case with us

WSS!

As for the original questions, Simply address the invites to exactly who's coming and don't say 'and guest' for anyone if you don't want any unknowns. So for the friend with the plus one, it would be "To Miss Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith". Easy peasy. Or just send the guy an invite of his own! Explain to anyone who asks that you're not allowing any plus one's, (although, I'd say that married or engaged plus one's should be invited even if you've never met them before!) and if they bring up the friend of yours, just say that you're inviting both parties, not one 'and guest'!

As for placing a deposit on a dress, I think everywhere does this. I don't think I've ever heard of paying up front for a dress you won't see for 6 months! Unless you buy your dress in a high street shop I wouldn't worry too much.

I had much the same issue and wanted to restrict who bought plus ones and who didnt. So like above I addressed invitations to those people directly, like Mr John Doe. For those that I wanted to bring a guest (like my brother) I invite him plus guest.

I also wanted to be strict on children (just wanted those I knew and have met), so just invited some people as Mr and Mrs directly, while those that I wanted to bring their children (like my sister) I sent it to the Doe Family, for example.

I think you invite whoever you want to, and as long as you address the invites correctly then noone should assume otherwise about bringing a plus one. IF any does mention it, like previous posts, just tell them your reasons. Chances are a lot of people wont think about approaching you about it.