Culled friend gets back in touch - WWYD?

If it would upset MrMal that much then I think you have to go with what he wants. If you spoke to him and he felt differently now, then I might get together for a coffee and take it from there, but not necessarily expecting to be bosom buddies again.

Can you email her and tell her just that? I'd have thought she's be grateful that you prevented her H from finding out, and that you risked your own relationship for her. Is she still with her H? could you just say how Mr Mal feels and that if you resume contact with her, there is a strong chance that Mr M will spill the beans to her H?

I think it would upset him. He used to say things like "her bloke must have a pal...don't try to tell me you go out with her and him but don't get up to anything yourself" it was a horrible time. His paranoia was slightly drug induced though..... I genuinely did go out with her and him and I just got drunk and danced all night beside them ?

I kinda would like to see her once, to catch up to swap stories and then say "ok, see ya" But even at that I'm not too fussed. Maybe chatting on email would be OK.

I wouldnt get involved with her again TBH, there is no point in upsetting your H.

I think I will. I feel in my gut that this is the right thing to do, not to see her.

I hope she isn't still with him as she is getting married again [roftl]

Having been on the recieving end of a culling in 2006 which has caused me and my husband much upset and has caused a whole group of people that we used to be friends with also sideline us so that we are fully excluded. I would say that an email telling her why you did what you did and the reasons for it and why you felt she was being an arse would be a pretty good way of drawing a line under it and then you have a clearer path to decide if you want to leave it there or perhaps strike up an email friendship etc.

We have never ever been told what we have done, although I am 110% sure I am the one that it is all being aimed at and I know that I would have appreciated the opportunity to apologise for whatever it was that caused them to turn their back on 20 years of friendship with my husband and 6 years of friendship with me. - but that is just MHO

I think she knows why ?. She knows Mr Mal was going ape and how he wanted to come to their house.

The details of exactly what happened and when are a bit hazy as it was so long ago. But I told her that when I got her very last text, I read it standing in the hospital right after my Granda died and just couldn't be arsed replying. I was in quite a bad way after that and never got back in touch.

I also culled another long standing friend at that time, but he definitely deserved that and again he knows why I did it and why I will never ever speak to him again. With this one though as I said there was no big issue, just lots of things mounted up and at that moment in time I had enough to deal with. And in the past I have missed her and wondered if I did the right thing...but I think I did the right thing, marriage takes hard work and sacrifices and I think this was one of them.