curious musing...age gap relationships...

I get called a cradle snatcher and my OH is only 7 year younger. Even with that gap i think there are sometimes differences, but nothing major.

My mum and dad have an age gap of 7 years so not as much as you guys but myb point is who cares as long as you love each other.

the age gap between me and my H2B is a nightmare JOKE - its a day lol he's on 27th march am 28th same year and everything.

My friends were not impressed with me when I started dating OH who was 18 when I was 22.!

But - it works for us. I know he a lot more mature than a usual 18 year old too due to his job.

I did too! My hubby is 8 years younger than me - he was 23 when we married and I was 31. I certainly don't act my age and at the end of the day, when you both live together you keep each other young. We've been very happily married for 27 years and I wouldn't have him any other way. It was a big suprise to all my family and friends when we married because I'd always preferred older men and most of the men I'd dated had been in their 40's but he is, and was, very mature for his age and responsible which are two of the qualities I look for in men!

My H2B is exactly 6 months older so we haven't got the age gap thingy, but I personally don't see that theres a problem in it as long as you love eachother. Age is just a number x

My sister and her other half have a 13 year age gap - she's 28 and he's 41. They were previously together when she was eighteen for a few years then split up for a while - they both went and did their own thing - she went to uni he was in the army -they 'found' each other again and are now expecting their first baby and planning the wedding for after this.

They've said age doesn't make a difference now but it did more when they were first together because my sister was so young. He has a young outlook on life and they have similar interests but the age gap has influenced their decision to have children sooner rather than later. I think they felt in a good place to have children as well for both of them which obviously helps!

The thing is none of us ever really know what life is going to give us next and I think if you're happy in your relationship thats the most important thing! We can only live life once!!!! Hmmm I'm getting a bit too philosophical for a Thursday afternoon!!!

xxx

My H is 8 years older, and since I left uni I've always gone out with older men - I just seemed to get on better with men in their 30s/40s then their 20s.

My ex was 20 years older - I didn't find it a problem in and of itself - he was younger looking and we liked same music etc, but it was difficult as you mention because of the different stage of life thing - he'd already been married and had a family and I hadn't. I do think it makes things more difficult if there's more than about a 10 year ago gap (dependent on where you are in life - e.g. between 50 and 60 it wouldn't matter) but then again there are lots of things that complicate relationships but don't neccessarily stop them working.

OH is 11 years older than me, when he was 18 he got in a 8 year realtionship and said when that ended he lived his twenties as he should have so mentlly he is 8 years younger (if that makes sense?!)

there were 10 years between my parents so ive never thought much about age gaps and ive always gone for an older gentlman! (not in a sugar daddy way though! ?)

we have had the same discussion as you Clarkivy, he doesnt want to be an 'old dad' so would rather have kids sooner!!

I wish my H would see it like that - I'd love to start ttc'ing now, and he's the one that wants to wait - I'm more worried about my age than he is his!

I know what you mean, H2B has been married before and has a child. It doesn't matter other than I wish I had met him earlier so he could have all that for the first time with me, but we have our own future now and that's all that matters.

Agree with the other ladies too, age really is only a number! x

My husband is 10 years older than me. And I barely think about it.

The only thing ever in the back of mind (and purely being practical) is that men generally die younger than women, so I think i may be on my own at the end, but he's worth it!!!

I'm 24 and h2b is 26. Theres 16 months between us. There's 14 years difference between my sister and her partner, he's 37 and she's almost 23. I agree that age is just a number. x

That thought had crossed my mind too, quite a scary prospect...but I just look at the flip side of it, I could be hit by a bus tomorrow and he could live to 100!

Me and hubby have an 8 year age gap. I was 16 when I met him and he was 24 which shocked my parents a bit at first but once they got to know him, they fell in love with him. That was 15 years ago now and now I'm 31 and he's 39 it doesnt sound so bad ? Who cares about age anyway? When we are together, no one can tell he is older than me (whether thats a good thing or bad thing I dont know haha).

My OH is 4 and a half years older than me, not a very big age gap but I tease him about it all the same

There is 5 years between me and OH nearly 6, i'm just 25 and he's almost 31.

I'd never really considered it as a huge gap but thinking about it, it is quite a gap.

It's the same for me BSB i want to start trying straight after the wedding because i only want to be 27ish when have our first but he wants to wait.

Everyone will say that I would say this since there's a big age gap in mine and h2bs relationship but it's what I believe and I'm certainly very happy! ? Age is definitely just a number and makes no difference as to whether two people can be happy together or not. To be honest, for us, the fact that h2b is a lot older probably helps as he understands me more than anyone else ever has/would and I love him for who he is (I may not have fell in love with him had we met in different circumstances and had we have been a similar age). He wouldn't be the person that he is without the experiences that he has had, and me too vice versa if you see what I mean. Sometimes life shapes you and it's the man that I met that I fell in love with and he's only that now through age, he admits that his outlook/personality etc have changed a lot through the years. So, meeting him when I did is a blessing for us even though my Mam wasn't too happy when I first said I was going on a date with him - she told me that she didn't want to know as he was nearer to her age than mine! It wasn't until a few months later that I brought it up again as I really wanted my parents to meet him, she has since fallen for him too and loves him to pieces, saying she can see exactly why we're together. Sorry for that long piece, just seemed to come out! We're 22 years different by the way, I'm 27, he's 49. xx

i joked about this just the other day to my OH, he didnt see the funny side though!!

Thanks Jules - I understand exactly where you are coming from. In our situation I think I will mostly likely always be the main breadwinner anyway, as I have a well qualified, secure (touch wood) job, and H2B is more of a flit from job to job kind of person! We have discussed him being a full or part time house husband if babies come along too, but you're right there are things like that to think about x

There are 25 days between me and my husband!

There's only 5 yrs between me and my H2B, so not a great deal.

My Sister's Husband is closer to our Mum's age than hers lol. She was 16 and he was 28 when they got together. They have been together 12 years now, married for 5 years (exactly tomorrow, it's their anniversary) and have a 4 year old daughter.

Theres a 14 year age gap between me and oh, he doesnt wana be to old when we have children but im broody anyway so going to start trying after xmas.

with regards to men die younger than women, this is tru but it is also proven apparently that men live longer if they are with a younger woman, i read an article on this the other day so dont worry to much x

8.5 years for us. And we couldn't care less!

There is nearly 6 years between us, H being older, and it isn't an issue between us but I have been in relationships with 20 years difference and it ended up being a relationship breaker issue. We were just at very different life stages.

Theres only 5 and a half years between me and OH, I say only as it is my smallest age gap relationship - everything from 7 years to 24 years.

However my mum and dad have a 10 year and 5 day difference, met when mum was 16 married at 18 and its been 33 years since - so i see age gaps as normal. But going back to the post about finances, when my dad dies my mum is entitled to less of his pension than she would if there was 9 years 11 months and 29 days between them (about 50% less!) all for a tiny 6 days - cos 33 years + is a long time to wait if your a gold digga!

A

Interesting thread - my husband is 6 years older than me and we've been together for over 18 years now! xx

My husband is 6.5 years younger than me, nobody has ever really made any comments about it but I guess its not such a large age gap.

I have been thinking more about lately though as I turn 40 next year & he will only be 33. His male friends think its great he has an "older women" & my friends think I am a lucky sod having a toyboy

Debbie

x

9 months between us, as my Dad says "we heard a good man was born so we decided to conceive our daughter for him" ?

My MIL2B is 14 years older than her husband, I'm used to it but it's quite a noticeable gap physically! She met him in her 40s and he was in his 20s... and they have a kid (who's 18 now). She's about to retire and he's got over 15 years left. Not easy every day but they have made it work ?

I'm 8 years older than my OH, and at the beginning did get all the jokes about cradle snatching and stuff.

At the end of the day we love each other, have the same interests, the same goals and ideals so what does it matter if we were born 8 years apart?!

It's such a double standard that it's fine for an older man and younger woman to be together, but there's more of a taboo about an older woman and younger man!

OH says it's perfect, because as someone else said on here, men die younger than women so I wont be on my own for very long, morbid yes!

My new bloke is 10 years older than me - well, 10 years and 27 days ... : )

The age difference makes no odds to me whatsoever day to day - he keeps fit, looks after himself, is a real active type of outdoorsy guy, loves life and certainly doesn't look his age. We have the most fabulous relationship and he's changed my life.

He has a 13 year old son from a previous marriage, who comes to stay with us every other weekend.

The biggest ish right now is the kids thing - for 16 years I thought I didn't want them (with my previous partner/husband) but now I'm out of that relationship (where my ex was very much NOT in favour of having kids, it simply wasn't on his agenda) I am now seriously broody...

Bloke and I have such a brilliant life and relationship, and I can really 'see' us being a family, not just a couple with a visiting step/son. But there is that whole fear thing of older parents ... issues with the baby, even getting to that point - fertility and all that. But if you are sure that that part of your relationship is talked about then thats the only 'down' side I can think of, and its not really a downside, just a consideration and a decision "older" couples (whether you've got an age gap or not) have to make.

I try not to think about when I'm 40 he'll be 50, 60 and 70, 70 and 80 as that gets into the scary area of him shuffling off this mortal coil before I'm ready to let him go!

Glad to hear you are happy SP and that you have met someone you deserve

XXX

Aw thanks SC251! Thats very sweet...

SP x