Cutting the cake issue

Could you do it in private with you you 2 & the TOG? Or does OH not even want to do that?

What's the basis of his objection to a picture of cutting the cake?

No he thinks it's a stupid posed photo and so why should we do something we don't want to do just to please others.

AJ we decided not to have a cake because the traditional meaning behind it really doesn't mean that much to us. I quite agree, it's just I'm willing to do it to keep the peace.

Perhaps just some nice pictures of the cake will be a compromise.

Agreed there's no reason to do it if you really don't want to, but older relatives might wonder why you haven't dont it.

We are having the cake cutting posed photos etc but we hadn't really given a huge amount of thought to it, as it was just 'one of those things you do' and we don't have any objection to doing it.

I guess there's no reason not to just have a few pictures of the cake, then let the venue take it away and cut it up as they normally do for distribution later.

We did our cake cutting just before the first dance - we had the cake near the dance floor and it was a great way of getting everyone's attention before the first dance - and it got all the day and evening guests together! so we cut the cake then went onto the dance floor - and i have to say, we got some really great pics - none of them looked staged (admittedly i was pretending to cry cos i made the cake and could hardly bring myself to cut it after all that hard work!) and it was actually quite fun - so it doesn't have to be a really staged thing!

or if you really really don't want to cut the cake, if you go and see your venue room all set up just before the guests all come up (as is quite common i think), you could just have a photo done with the 2 of you pretending to cut the cake - then it will please your dad, it will take up about 1 minute of your wedding day and it won't be staged in front of all your guests!

That's an idea - I'll talk to the Tog and he if he can come up with something a bit different to do

It's the tradition of beginning a new life together and one where you'll do everything together. Well we've been living together for 10 years now and the wedding isn't a symbol of us starting a new life together, more sealing what we already have. That's why it really doesn't mean anything too much to cut the cake together x

Or do like the americans and cut the cake, you squash the cake in his face and he daintily slips you a sliver. ?

We had a lovely couple of photos of us with the cake but not cutting it - We were in the background, all burred and having a cuddle, cake was in foreground and in focus. and another one where we were just standing near it and kissing and tog held camera above her head and shot a wide shot of the room, with cake, us and all our tables - lovely. But if you're having a problem with your man wanting to pose for photo with cake, just leave it - its his day too, ask your togs to get some nice photos of it and tell your wedding co-ordinators you're not having a cake-cutting - I bet your dad will just forget about it as he'll be nervous about his speech!!!!!

One thing that does cross my mind is that there are often aspects of a wedding we aren't 100% happy about doing or comfortable with, but we have to do them.

I'd rather not have to stand up in front of 120 people and do a speech - but it's expected so it will be done.

I just don't understand why your OH can't pose for one shot to keep the peace. It doesn't matter if cutting the cake means nothing to him, it obviously means a lot to your dad so if I was in that situation I'd just grit my teeth and let them take the shot personally.