Yep. I am going on a date.
I feel like I've just told you all some massive guilty secret. But also you lot are the people I share everything with so I want to tell you.
I am fine with it - obviously wouldn't have agreed to go if I wasn't and I've told my family. My mum was really excited and said that it was about time i got a bit of my life back. My main concern was that it would appear to be 'too soon' to other people and I know it still will to some people. But I voiced this to my mum and she said that if Mr Rk's death had been sudden she would have agreed, but having been on the journey with us, especially the 8 month hospice/care home stay she knew that I felt more of a carer than a partner for a long time anyway. I could explain this more but I am not trying to justify it in any way. It is what it is.
I am actually really excited and it's with a guy who has known me all through the journey and has sat and been there for me many a time when I was an emotional mess.
I realise this might cause all kinds of reactions in people - and that's fine. But I really have decided that life is too short. And I love you all so am rubbish at keeping secrets.
*pipes down and goes to hide*
*** UPDATE ***
Oh right I guess I better update!
Had an amazing evening! So I opted for the skinny jeans, cream floaty vest top and jacket with hihg heels. Sorry no flash! And he was looking ever so charming in chinos and a shirt. We went to a cocktail bar near Covent garden (this one) which was really small and lovely (and has the quirkyist toilet doors I have EVER seen which are clear until you lock the door and then they mist up - unnerving!). I have been before but really like it so was more than happy to go back. They bring bowls of popcorn round to your table (probably more than the average to ours because this is my favourite snack and I monstered through the bowls quite quickly) and there's various acts in the evening apparently, although we didn't stay late enough to see any. Really intimate bar that allowed us to just relax and talk. I tried to behave and only had a couple of cocktails. Didn't think releasing drunk RK would be a good move so early in the night.
Then I was whisked away (via the glamourous underground - he wanted to get a cab but I love my oyster card and it always seems a waste of money) to Sloan Square where a table was booked at Gauchos - which does amazing steak. Sorry all those veggies this is definitely not the restaurant for you, but if you are a meat lover then their steaks are absolutely delicious! Always the indecisive I went for their trio taster plate which has a small bit of rump, fillet and rib eye on it. Rib eye steak is my favourite I have decided. We had a glass of champagne on arrival and we ate and chatted until quite late when I had to go and get a train home ☹️ . Really enjoyed the night, felt so laid back in Mr Date's company. He seemed happy to talk about Mr RK as well, which I think was important as that is obviously a huge part of me and I don't really have many Mr RK lite stories as we were together for so long. I always thought this would be awkward but found myself quite happily retelling a funny story from my past and not feeling weird about it. We shared a rather lovely bottle of red wine (nom nom nom) and a tasty cheesecake (wine was nicer). I was feeling rather giddy when we left from the combination of cocktails, champagne and wine and I am a cheap date but I was determined not to rush anything (regardless of what I might have been thinking at the time!) and ended the night with a quick kiss goodbye and a hug. I text when I got home safely as I had promised and he replied to say he'd had a great night. I was determined to play it all cool but he broke the dating rules (or whatever they are) and called me yesterday saying he really enjoyed it and we should arrange something again. I have a really busy week at work this week but hopefully we might get to go out for a drink this weekend. I have said if it's nice weather again it'd be great to go for a nice country walk and get a bit of pub lunch. Just between you and me I fancy him rather a lot ?
