Did you promise to Obey?

Hell no, I never make promises I can't keep. I think there was a wedding report though.

Promising to obey - not on your life. I hadn't for the previous 5.5 years, why should I pretend I was going to start? Ours was a civil anyway so much more choice in the words that you can say.

Report - honestly can't remember. I was posting on WP/OT during my honeymoon though ? In my defence the internet access was free, it was raining and himself was in bed with an ear infection (every holiday we've had for the last 4 years, seriously, he has been ill at some point!). I got told off for that by the planners who thought I should be having gentle, tender, sex.

Excuse language......but 'obey' - Hell no!

We did love, honour and cherish I think.

I did a wedding report - as I recall it was in two parts and extra-long [sad and lonely icon]. Sadly my computer crashed about two years after we got hitched and I lost the filecopy.

Magenta x

I didn't, but then ours was a civil ceremony. I didn't do a wedding report either. I'm not sure if I posted any pics but probably not.

No way, man! ?

I didn't do a report either, but then I wasn't a massively prolific poster on WP, I migrated here pretty quickly.

Obey - no

Report - no

Photos - no

?

I didn't promise to obey either. I didn't do a report either, in fact I think I left Hitched for over a year after the wedding, and I've not been on WP since.

Exactly WHHS ?

I didn't promise to obey, but i'm pretty sure i did a quick report and added pictures

Obey...yes, I did. It doesn't bother me in the slightest and I am quite traditional.

Nope I never did a wedding report, I was on off topic pretty quickly. I have never really posted many pics either

If you don't mind can I ask why? How do you interpret it? It would bother me very much to say those words.

And they wonder why society has gawn to the dawgs?

I didn't promise to obey; I would have done without any qualms, but Mr Hippo wanted us to make the same promises as each other. I wouldn't have had a problem promising to obey because I was confident that he would never ask me to do something I didn't agree with, so 'obeying' or 'disobeying' really wouldn't have been an issue.

(I'm talking about big decisions here, not little things like 'will you put the rubbish out', 'no, you do it'! ?)

Edit - no wedding report or pictures, but I never really posted on WP.

Doesn't the groom say obey as well? I am trying to decide if I want to say it or not, if he says it as well then it's not quite so bad.

Nope, I think it was love honour and cherish or whatever the alternative is. Don't remember doing a wedding report but it's a possibility [shame]

No, the groom promises to cherish and the bride promises to obey, I think.

I think I promised to obey but then seeing as how H said "the father, son and holy goat" instead of "holy ghost" in the vows I'm not entirely sure whether it counts! Also i managed to put his wedding ring on the wrong hand so all in all it was a bit of mix up! (I blame the champagne breakfast myself)

Didn't do a wedding report as though I had been hitching before we got married in 2003 I think i'd had enough of the planning forum and cleared off by the time we got the wedding. Then I came back and arrived on O/T in 2004.

Oh right, well in that case no bloody chance ?

Nope - didn't promise to obey, no way.

I did however write a v.short report ? and had some pics on photobox or somewhere similar (can't remember now)

I didn't promise to obey but I did write a report and post a picture, I think.

No obey here. Our rector mentioned, first off, that obey was all very well if I wanted it, but they were then "asymmetric vows"........ Well put that man!

same here!

G&T did.

I wonder how many of you had genuinely thought about the vows and how many simply experienced knee-jerk femminism ?

Not sure what you're trying to say here. I don't really see a marriage as involving anyone obeying anyone else - surely we both have our own independent opinions and learning to compromise is an important part of building the foundation of your marriage? And yes, it is a feminist issue - not a knee jerk one either - if the woman is saying she'll obey and the man isn't. We don't live in a society anymore where the man is the head of the household so frankly it's quite outdated and I'm surprised anyone wants to. But each to their own of course.

We didn't have much choice as had a rather old, retired Canon doing our service who knew the service off the top of his head and wasn't really open to change. However, the regular vicar had said he would have a word with him if we didn't want to obey / cherish.

We did think about it, no knee jerk reactions here, and I was of the view that if he cherished me he wouldn't ask me to do anything I didn't want to and therefore obeying wasn't a problem.

So, in answer to the question

Obey - yes

Wedding report - yes

Photos- yes

Although, thinking about it now, I think I was in confetti as well in those days so it may well have been on there that I posted it.

Chance to post pics now if you want ?...... https://www.hitched.co.uk/Chat/forums/t/127837.aspx

Us WP-ers (and secretly, some of the OT fluff-haters) would love to see them!

x

I couldn't have possibly said obey - I don't believe in the Biblical view that man should look to God and woman should look to God via her husband. I know people who do and did say obey to their husband and fair dos but no, not something I'd ever believe in, and not because of "knee jerk feminism" either.

I promised to obey: my husband promised to love and cherish me, and in doing that, wouldn't force me into anything. Only how I see it mind.

I did a wedding report. I wasn't exactely a prolific planner, but it was something I wanted to do, and also to show the fluffies that the pen you sign the register with doesn't matter a jot ?

No. But then we only did the bare minimum we had to in our legal ceremony (not even exchange of rings) and wrote our handfasting vows ourself too. In fact we didn't even say til death do us part or anything, we used (and are very happy with) "as long as love shall last".

I did do report & pics mind.

Does that mean we don't care for our marriages as much?! ?

P&AP - obey wasn't event mentioned to us once when our vows were being discussed. I don't think it is a knee-jerk reaction at all. I'm the head of my household so should my H have to obey to me? Of course not.

But I thought you BOTH Love and cherish, with the option of the bride saying Love, cherish and obey.....

I definitely thought about it, and didn't make a knee-jerk reaction - in fact as part of our marriage preparation from the vicar we were encouraged to think about all of the vows we were making and discuss what it meant to us. However, no-one mentionned to us the idea of "obeying" - it was assumed that we would both say the same vows, and I was happy with this - neither of us is the boss over the other one.