Dilemma what to do about OH illness?

You mean cancel your wedding? What are you thinking, that your H2B might be too ill to go ahead? Are you considering bringing it forward? (Sorry for the interrogation, I'm just trying to gauge your line of thought!)

Hi

Sorry I've just read my foirst message it's not not really clear I'm suffering head up bum syndrome at mo it's been a bit of a shock.

We'd still be getting married but would have to do it in UK. I don't think he'll be too I'll at least I hope he won't be. With his kidney condition he may have to start dialysis at some point either few weeks or months we don't know and either way it'll make travel hard.

Just looking for advice on whether to cut our losses with the Cyprus wedding now and start the planning for a uk wedding or hold out and risk having to cancel because he is ill.

Sorry to hear that your OH is ill. Have you got wedding insurance? You should be able to claim everything back if you have. I would probably want to talk to the drs and ask their opinion. if you wouldn't lose a lot then personally I would want to focus on getting him better first as wedding planning is stressful! You'll lose a lot more money if you plan it all and then have to cancel. Good luck no matter what you decide x

Thanks for your responses we're meeting with the doctor this week so we'll hopefully know more then. We have wedding insurance through Thomson so should be ok in that respect. X

So sorry to hear about your OH's illness - my H has kidney problems too although he's stable at the moment on medication.

I would hang fire on things until you've spoken to his consultant. I work with a lady whose MIL is on dialysis, it hasn't stopped her going abroad at all.

Don't forget to look after yourself too, hospital visiting can be very draining.

Hi Lauren

I'm sorry to hear about your OH's illness, it must be very difficult to get your heads around but at least you know what you're dealing with now.

I'm a long-time lurker and haven't posted here for an age but my dad is on dialysis and awaiting a transplant so I have some idea of what you are dealing with. In dad's case it's due to diabetes AND he lives in Ireland so there may be some differences in treatment and process.

Once we had the initial diagnosis, it took several months before he started on dialysis. Firstly, he had to change his diet to reduce the amount of potassium he was consuming, so had to eliminate things like citrus juices, tomatoes and potatoes (unless double-boiled). He also started on various medications. He then had to have surgery to create a fistula, which is essentially where the dialysis machine connects to and is usually in the wrist or elbow. So while there was an initial panic about everything it did take some time before he actually started on dialysis (I appreciate this most likely varies for every patient)

He has been on dialysis for about 4 years now and waiting on a transplant. Part of the wait is that he also needs a pancreas, but depending on the kidney issue it may be treated by dialysis for years. That being said I believe consultants refer patients for transplant when appropriate rather than have somebody on dialysis for life...

Finally, as one of the other posters said, being on dialysis doesn't mean your partner won't be able to travel. The number of sessions a patient has will vary so it may be that there are breaks between sessions. Even if he is on regularly (my dad is 3 days per week), there is a company that manages dialysis appointments for patients who are travelling. My dad has been on a couple of sun holidays and was able to go for dialysis there, he was also able to travel to our wedding in Scotland and have his treatment here (if that hadn't been an option, we'd have gone home to get married). In his case, he lets the Irish Kidney Association know several months in advance and they work to get him booked in.. a month before the clinic sends blood samples and files to the overseas hospital so they are all ready for him. I know it is available EU-wide and in some other countries so it could be an option for you.

Wait until you see the doctor and chat to them then, they'll have a better idea of timelines and should also be able to give you details of the kidney associations/support groups who will certainly be able to help you make some decisions on your wedding.

Feel free to PM me if you have any more questions.