Divorce advice....not strictly for me of course :)

Your a brave girl setting the date already. My divorce took almost 2.5 years to come through!

Which part did you send to the court? Was it the initial application, or the signed papers?

It took 6 months for me.... I would get H2B to chase asap.

HTH

Kim x

Loubs, don't be telling me that!!! ☹️, h2b and his ex have been separated for the past 14/15yrs, no finances to sort no dependants, was told by the guy during the Personal Interview that it should be straight forward!

We sent her part of the papers that she needed to sign...Notice of Proceedings I think they are called, the part before the Nisci?!?

Hi there

Usually the respondent ha 14 days to sign the acknowledgement of service and return it to court from the date the divorce petition was issued and I'm guessing it was done on a 5 year separation etc as they've been separated for a long, long time there is no financials to sort out. Once the Judge is happy with everything he/she will grant the decree nisi and set a date for the pronouncement of the nisi. After the date of the nisi pronouncement, the petitioner (the one who issues the divorce) can apply for the decree absolute after 6 weeks and 1 day. If the petitioner doesn't apply the respondent can apply for the absolute.

Courts can be very slow and it takes at least 5 working days for the court clerks to list the matter before a family judge for the pronouncement of the nisi., it will be longer if the court have lots of listings to be done! The judge then looks at it and makes the appropriate order all being well. You should get hubby to make a call to the court just to find out what stage their at with listing etc. I wouldn't recommend mentioning that there is a wedding booked as the court always insist that the absolute is obtained before any wedding date is set purely to cover for long delays etc! The above was the procedure when I was training to be a Solicitor anyway where I spent a whole year in matrimonial which was great at the time! I then had a career change and so much happier with it too! ?

T xx

Hiya,

Why won't your h2b call the courts after he finishes work? Would only take 5 mins. I personally wouldn't get someone else to call pretending to be him as it needs to be your h2b putting the effort into getting his divorce sorted. Just from what you have said before it really seems to be you that is doing the work for him which isn't fair as you have enough to deal with planning a wedding.

I totally understand why you are panicking but hopefully it will all be sorted out soon.

It took my H about 5/6 months from the papers being returned to the court and that was without any complications.

Lxx

This whole thing is really starting to make me sick to my stomach ☹️, I asked h2b to ask his daughter this morning if the papers had been returned and he said that his ex said she would be sorting it out, part of me is thinking I should of put an SAE in with the papers!

PG, I have been doing everything!, it's my own fault though as I have dne everything for h2b over the years and now asking him to do something it's like trying to get blood out of a stone!, old habits are dying very hard!

clare188421...when you say quick, how quick do you mean?

Oh Debs, it doesn't even sound as though she has done anything with them. I wonder if she you should get a solicitor involved just to chivvy her up a little. My divorce took 14 months to go through, though there was a child involved. Even when it had gone to court from submitting the papers and getting them listed, then waiting the 6 weeks 1 day it still took over 3 months. How does the the giving notice aspect work over there ? Is there a minimum amount of time to do it before your wedding, will there still be a registrar available at short notice ? I don't want to panic you but but your H2B really needs to get his finger out and do something, this has been going on over 12 months now xxxxx

JM, I have the registrar provisionally booked and she said in September that I still had plenty of time to get the paperwork in but will phone her this week to confirm the time frame. When I asked the court what the next step was if they hadn't received the papers they said they would normally draw up an affidavit and take it from there. If I don't see anything come back from the court by Wednesday I'm gonna hit the roof with h2b!

Videogal, does my h2b need to attend court for the nisi to be granted? or would the court just ask for payment?

Hi Debs no court attendance needed for the pronouncement of the nisi. It's just a date that is set where the judge reads out the nisis - attendance is only for those that contest the nisi for whatever reasons once the nisi has been pronounced 6 weeks and 1 day later absolute can be applied for. The ex really needs to get her finger out and get it sorted surely she wants to put closure on all this as quickly as possible and move on! Hubby2b needs to chase and chase tbh as well. Courts can be very slow expecially when you want them to be quick about it.

Payment is needed when you apply for the absolute and I think its between £40.00-£80.00 could be more I can't remember - sorry. You make the payment when you complete the Affidavit for the decree absolute! x

Videogal, would the courts accept a letter signed by h2b giving me authority to discuss his case if he won't get off his backside and do anything?

Hi Debs - yes they may well do I know that solicitors offices do! He needs to do something like this - I can't guarantee they will its really up to the court. If he puts this

I.............................. hereby give consent for .................................. County Court to speak with Deborah.................. being my litigation friend/representative in these divorce proceedings case number.......................... between......................................... (Petitioner) and............................................... (Respondent)

Signed:.................................................................. Dated:................................................................

Then if he encloses this with a letter explaining that he works during court hours and its not easy for him to telephone them during the day - it may just do the trick! Hope you get it sorted! The rules may have changed since my time as a trainee and I am by no means a qualified expert!

Cheers tracey x

Videogal, you are a Gem!, I will get the letter typed up tonight and posted in the morning, if h2b could have everything done for him he would, litteraly, guess I have just carried on from were his mum left off ☹️

Aw Debs tell me if I'm wrong but you sound so down right now ?. If you feel that you already do everything for him are you sure you want to keep doing that? You don't need to answer it but I'm just concerned about you. I just know that if my h2b hadn't put the effort in to sorting his own divorce out then I wouldn't have put the effort in to planning a wedding and marrying him.

You know where I am if you want to chat. x

HI Debs,

Going through a similar thing myself, if u wanna email me for a chat, feel free.

Sara xxx

To be honest PG I'm not the best at the min, not sure if hormones are kicking in or what as it's a bit early, could be all the extra work I've taken on in work, all the overtime I have been doing to keep on top of it or the fact that h2b isbeing so unhelpful and laid back about the whole thing.

I know that 6 mths is 6 mths and not less but I feel that time is slipping away and still so much to get done and so much money left to pay out and the fact this his divorce isn't through yet and that I can't do anything about it...think I'm sounding like a bit of a control freak here ☹️

I need to know what is going on and if I don't then I can't sort it out, I hate waiting on people to do things cos you don't know if they are going to get done and get done right...think I'm gonna end up having an anxiety attack if this dosen''t get sorted [[

You don't sound like a control freak at all but your h2b sounds like he needs a kick up his bum to get him to sort his own affairs out. If you didn't do it would he eventually?

I was stressed about my H getting his divorce in time and that was with him constantly making sure his ex had done her paper work and then phoning the courts to find out what the next stage was.

I hope it doesn't end up making you ill because you don't deserve that. x

He would do it himself eventually, just needs to be really last minute for him to do something about anything!, that's were our opposites start attracting!

His ex only needs to sign the papers unless she has a problem with what h2b has stated and the only thing that is stated that needs to be is 5 yr separation and no dependants under the age of 18 yrs old.

I'm going to try and get the letter typed up tonight that Videogal mentioned and see how far I can chase it myself, if I wait for h2b he will probably wait until the week before the wedding before he realises something needs to be done.

Sorry that I couldn't reply before, for some reason I kept being timed out!

I didn't realise that your H2B had been seperated for over 5 years, and that it was quite straightforward, that is GOOD news, and a friend of mine recently did the same thing, and her divorce was through in 3 months, start to finish!

Does H2B still have any contact with his wife because of the children? Is she local? Is there any way that he could 'pop' around and get her to sign it in person?

My ex husband refused to sign the papers as he knew that I wanted to re-marry and so in the end, we had to get the Court Bailiffs (or whatever they are called ) to deliver the petition. That really needs to be a last resort, as it takes quite a long time to get that organised.

I really feel for you. I am a control freak, and hate it when things are out of my control.

Maybe you need to sit down with H2B and tell him how you are feeling about all this, and say that if he wants to get married on the date that you have arranged, he needs to get much more proactive. Even working court hours, he must have a break at some point where he can nip and make a quick call on his mobile to the court?

BTW - The fee for the Absolute is £40