DJ concerns - AIBU?

That does seem odd. Our DJ said we would have to provide music if we wanted something very unusual (an example he used was a party where the guy was into a very specific type of underground dance music), but the songs you mentioned seem fairly standard and I can't believe any half decent wedding DJ wouldn't have them. Can you go back to the venue and say you're not happy and want someone else? Surely they can't force you to have a DJ you don't want.

No way are you being unreasonable! I'd be more than a little bit peed off and would seriously be reconsidering hiring him altogether. Can you ask the venue for an alternative DJ?

Well that's what I was wondering. Would it be unreasonable of me to complain to the venue? When I said to her at the meeting that we may need to provide some songs as we were having an unusual first dance and had a couple of other alternative requests, she said she didn't think we'd need to and we'd "be surprised what he can get hold of". So I was even more shocked when he said he wanted us to provide what I consider to be standard wedding songs.

ETA - h2b is worried that the guy will just stick on the CD we give him and do nothing for 2 hours.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all...that seems very strange and like you said, defeats the point of having a DJ at all. I would probably talk to the DJ first and tell him that you find his request odd...he must have those songs! And then if he still wants you to make a CD, I'd talk to the venue about it and ask for a different DJ. Very weird...

Not at all unreasonable - He just sounds like he is being Lazy.

I met the guy our venue recommended at their wedding fayre and immediately cancelled him. He told us the guy that usually attended our venue was nearly 90!!

At my first wedding the dj just rammed on some cds so i think you are right to be wary.

I would get in contact again and spell out exactly what you expect and change if no joy..

good luck...

Thanks everyone. Working on wording then for the e-mail to the DJ. How does this sound?

Hi Tony,

Thanks for your quick reply. We expected to have to provide some of the songs as we have listed some alternative bands, but your e-mail suggests you want all of them. Half the songs on the list are standard choices for a wedding and we'd therefore be surprised to need to provide these. Could you please clarify for us exactly which songs you want us to burn to CD?

Also, you will obviously need to familiarise yourself with any songs you don't know for the purposes of planning your setlist and mixing songs, so how soon will you want the CD from us and where would you like us to send it?

Thanks... (blah blah blah)

Does that sound okay? Or do I sound too distrustful? Do I need to say that we listed the artist name to tell him which version we want?

Sounds good to me. Much better than something I could have come up with! Annoyingly with the reply thing I can't see what he said to you originally...perhaps you should put in about the versions or you could just leave it and see if he mentions it again in a reply...sorry, that's no help is it?!

He's having a laugh! Firstly the venue insisting that you have to use one that they recommend would have riled me, so to then have him getting you to provide the tracks is nothing short of taking the piss.

I like your reply although I think it's a lot tamer than the one I'd have sent.

What venue is it?

x

Thanks for the input BWC. All the venues we went to insisted on their own DJ. One explained that this was because a bad DJ reflects badly on them as a venue and they therefore use one they know and trust. I can understand this, and figured that all the venues had similar reasons for saying the same thing. Plus it saved us having to find a DJ.

Don't really want to name the venue on here after what happened with that b2b's wedding getting cancelled. Will PM you.

I think that's a nonsense excuse from the venue/venues. A bad DJ at a private function does not reflect on them in any shape or form. I've seen many a dodgy band at the most fantastic venue and that wouldn't stop me from recommending the venue. It smacks of backhanders to me which isn't uncommon. How do they think this DJ's current behaviour will reflect on them given that they insisted you hire him?

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today! ?

Wow! Did someone really have part of their wedding cancelled because they complained on here? That's astounding!!

As for your DJ issue, I like the email you've posted. It's short and to the point while also being polite. If you don't get a totally satisfactory response to it, then definitely speak to your venue. When someone has a guaranteed gig like this guy has, it's easy to let quality control slip and become lazy. The venue need to know the problems you're having with him as they're putting their reputation on the line by recommending him and only him. If there's more complaints, they can tell him that his guaranteed gig will disappear unless he starts acting like a professional!

Good playlist by the way!!

Not because they complained, but some sicko who lurked on here took the details (venue, date) posted by one b2b and called her venue to cancel her wedding.

Debs do you think you will reflect badly on my venue!!! ? I better ask them if they will allow you in the door again because goodness knows what reputation you left the last time.

Back to the subject, your paying for the services of a DJ so what exactly is he going to do if you need to burn CD's for him. You'd be better off putting music onto an ipod and just having that. I'd speak to your venue as well as sending the letter out so you know where you stand if you don't get a good enough response from the DJ.

Shut your face you! More likely you won't be allowed into your own venue with your reputation. I'll end up marrying S just so he isn't left standing with you banging on the windows trying to get in ?

Melancholie, just got your pm. I'm not familiar with the venue (I think I confused you with memedoaky). Going by the guy's own site he has audio equipment available to him through his business but there is absolutely no reference to him being a professional DJ. I may have to be less discreet here and shout BACKHANDER!!! I'd be concerned that he is just going to throw on a CD/mp3 player for the whole night without actually doing any mixing at all or reading the crowd. If he doesn't have the song s on your list above, which are standards IMO, it'd be interesting to know just what music he does intend to play.

Sorry, don't want to add fuel to the fire but I would definitely be having a word with the venue. You could also ask him what method of playback he uses.

x

Thanks BWC. I'll have a word with the venue.

Requesting you to compile your own playlist on CD doesn't sound very professional. Any DJ worth their salt would obtain these tracks even if they didn't already have them. I'd ask the venue for another DJ's details and explain your reasons.

Venues probably prefer their suppliers from a recommended list due to insurance conditions and past experience. i.e. Unreliable, unprofessional and the downright dangerous. DJ's Bubble machines are banned in a few venues now due to guests slipping on the mixture, then claiming from the venue.

Most venues are also insiting on PAT testing of all DJ equipment and £5 million PL insurance cover. By insisting on recommended suppliers they know all these suppliers have the required standards without monitoring their paperwork or performance.

A bit lazy on the venue's part if you ask me. Plus preferring you use a recommended supplier and insisting you use them are two different things IMO. We're on quite a large number of venues recommended lists but I wouldn't wish to be on a venue's list if the client were going to be railroaded into booking us. It's more important to me that the client has the entertainment that is right for them rather than what is preferred by the venue.

Bubble machines are ridiculous contraptions for wedding receptions. Aside from being dangerous (not to mention staining clothes), they're tackier than a tacky thing.

There are sometimes more sinister reasons for pushing a recommended supplier list. Some venues take backhanders (my word of the day) for including supplers on the list, which obviously has nothing to do with the quality or appropriateness of the supplier.

x

No, It's the DJ that's the lazy one. Wedding venues that cover 200 + weddings a year have better things to do than monitor and check individual suppliers paperwork and behaviour at each event.

By having a few 'known quality' suppliers listed it gives the clients a choice and saves the venue checking them.

I'm sure many could assume 'backhander' - but it's just good business sense.

I echo these thoughts and would not e-mail the DJ direct but complain to the venue. As a professional he should have or source the songs himself. Otherwise apart from the performing licence and equipment, what are you paying him for? The venue choose him off a list so perhaps there are others you could use? I've not heard of venues insisting on a certain DJ myself but not disbelieving it can't happen just think it's odd as every couple likes different music. Our venue gave us a pack of recommended suppliers and I then met the DJ at a fair and liked them. We supplied a song list of about 20 songs and actually he didn't use his common sense on the night as people weren't dancing to H's choices of dance but he didn't change for ages. I'd be worried your DJ might do the same.

Thats just the maddest thing ... format your own CD?!! No no no no no!

Also, whilst most parties will give the DJ some idea of what they want played, and specify certain songs etc - its part of the DJs JOB to read the crowd/the dance floor and play his own music depending on the mood of the crowd! So yes, give them songs you want played but its for him to sort the set out for the night including tracks he will make decisions to play!

I would seriously consider binning this one and finding one with a good reputation.

Format your own CD - honest to goodness ... <wanders off muttering ...>

I'm not assuming backhander, it's a common reality. And having viewed the suppliers website, I don't think I'm making any huge leaps in judgement here.

If a DJ has all of their paperwork, PAT certs etc. what more can they do. Hardly lazy of them to make sure they have all of the relevent licences, PIL, PAT certs, hard earned reputation and experience, only for a venue to say they can't be bothered to check the paperwork.

A recommended supplier list makes perfect common sense but to insist on the use of a supplier, regardless of their suitability to the client, is nonsense.

Backhanders or no backhanders, if the supplier is able to deliver client satisfaction then all's well, so far though this hasn't happened for the OP.

x

I visited 10 venues and discussed bands with most of them and asked if they recommended anyone. Some had a list of people they liked and some didn't. None of them insisted of a particular band/DJ. My choosen venue did give me a list of contacts they knew about and I'm not using them which is just as well as I didn't like any.

Debs Steven would be happy to marry you! Does Andy want a swap ?. Wee Braw comes with me though.

Place we're getting married said if we didn't use their recommended DJ we had to pay £50 to cover the cost of them checkng the paperwork. Personally I thought that was a little excessive, however we're not having a DJ so it doesn't really matter. We're doing our own CD's and playing them so we get the music we like.

I'd definately complain to the venue if they insist you use someone then I think it's their problem if they're not up to scratch.