Do ure bridesmaids pay 4 there own dressess ?

That is also a question i would like some opinions on. My mum thinks bridesmaids should pay for their own, i think i should pay for them as they wouldnt be buying them if i hadnt asked them to be bridesmaids.

Thoughts?

I think generally the bride pays if she is choosing. My sister ihas been a pain and I didnt even want her (long story and on another thread) mentioned that when she was bridesmaid to someone else she had to use a dress she'd had bought her for another wedding as a bridesmaid and she thought that bride number 2 was rude is getting her to wear it again as she should have paid for it.

Im paying but im selling on ebay after - i wouldnt normally do something like that but given that i didnt want her and she wants wants wants I am.

I think you generally agree between yourselves these days.

My bridesmaid is wearing her prom dress as she'd love to wear it again. The general thing seems to be whether the BMs can wear the dresses again or not - if they are very much restricted to wearing as your BM on your day then I think you do buy them, but if it's something they can wear again- for example some people have black dresses with sashes, then you may ask the BM to buy.

I also think a lot depends on the financial circumstances....if someone was on a strict budget, it'd be unfair to ask them to buy a £300 peach confection!

This is just wot I thought - thank u hkj

Love Nikki x x x

I think in general the bride pays for the bridesmaid stuff, unless it has been agreed beforehand that they should pay. Basically it's up to you and them- if they've offered to pay and understand fully how much this will cost then I think that's fine.

If my bridesmaid offered to pay for their dresses I would have to say I would let them! ? But then I am also paying for their shoes, jewellery, hair and make-up, and presents!

My thoughts have always been if your choosing you pay - if your giving them a colour to keep 2 then it would be ok for them to pay personally Im having very traditional bridesmaid dresses so Im paying for them, going to order them b4 xmas!! ?

Mine are paying. but its a more casual ceremony and they can have whatever they want as long as its in the colour scheme, so hopefully they can wear it again.

I think it's pretty much personal preference - not written rules. I was a bridesmaid last year and assumed i'd pay but my mate paid for my dress (I offered but she wouldn't have it). She's going to be one of mine and I'm going to buy hers.

I'd just have a chat with them and see what they say.

I'd be mortified to accept payment for a bridesmaid dress. You are asking them to be your bridesmaid and regardless as to them wearing the dress again or choosing one that suits them, you should be paying for it.

You are asking them to do you the honour of being your bridesmaid, why should it cost them money?

Mortified?! what the hell?

first of all - its a personal choice. Secondly, I was asked to be a bridesmaid and offered to pay for my own dress even though I would most probably not wear it again as a gesture, seen as the bride and groom will already be spending a small fortune as it is.

everyone has different circumstances and its not always about how much things cost. Maybe your friends want to be there for you and have a role on your big day. It seriously ***ses me off when people go on about what should and should not be done.

Maybe you can afford 300 squid a dress - not everyone can.

Personally i cut my cloth accordingly and chose one adult and two junior bridesmaids so that i could pay for their dresses.

It is MY opinion that I would be mortified accepting payment 22tango and in a free country, i'm allowed that opinion.

Bridesmaid dresses don't have to be £300, my sil got hers for £27 quid each in TK Maxx four years ago.

Like I said, my opinion and you cut your cloth accordingly. I would hate to ask a friend to be my bridesmaid then risk her being financially embarrased by expecting her to pay for her dress.

I wasn't saying they all cost 300 quid - I was trying to make a point. and I would think most brides would know their bridesmaids well enough to know it it would be 'financially embarrassing' for them or not. I understand this is your opinion, but in my opinion when you comment on other peoples choices by saying you would be 'mortified' to do the sam, it comes across as ever so slightly condescending. but hey - each to their own.

I also cut my cloth accordingly and only had 2 bridesmaids so can afford the dresses BUT would still appreciate and accept a kind offer to pay as every little helps!

I don't think you need to be quite so touchy about it. you make your decisions as you choose and so do I.

We all make our own choices but i think its rude to ask for someone to pay for a dress for your wedding. if you can't pay for the bridal party clothing then choose something cheaper or cut back on something else.

I'd be embarrassed if my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and asked me to pay for my dress. I would offer to pay for my own shoes, hair, makeup etc but I couldnt afford to buy myself a bridesmaid dress, wedding pressie, hen do etc etc. and i wouldnt put someone else in that position either.

talking of condescending, you do a good job of it yourself

But that's the point- they offered, she isn't asking!

Oh thanks Bee - very nice!

I gave my opinion in relation to the OP question.

Thanks for ure opinions every1 - sorry if I corsed some friction - i didnt mean to

I have bought the dresses but I didnt intend on having BM they asked if they could and they are family members so yes they said they would pay, if they didnt then I have told them they are being sold afterwards. I cant afford to be spending that much on dresses, plus flowers, plus jewellery.

I guess its down to personal choice. Mine all have black dresses that can be worn again if wanted so its entirely up to them!

My bridesmaids are my 2 sisters and neice. I am paying for their dress, but my sisters have offered to pay the deposit.

I personally have always said that i asked them to be bridesmaids, i should pay. But they offered, and said they wanted to.

When i got married last yr, i didn't expect any of my bms to pay for their dresses, but they did offer to pay for their shoes instead, which seemed like a good compromise, as they were more likely to wear their shoes again than the dress.

Perhaps if you feel that you want to pay for their dress, you could do the same, then your cousins would still feel like their contributing something

x

I'm paying and then there keeping them. Nice reminder of the day and beautiful dresses they would wear again. Another expense but its my choice and they would never have bought them otherwise.

I fully expected to pay for my bridesmaids dresses but they have all said they want to pay for them themselves.