do you ever feel your not good enough for your OH

OMG hun you need to calm down. There is a reason you two are together and that you are getting married. Stop doubting yourself - he's chosen you because he loves you for who you are!

Your head must be all over the place with the wedding being so close and being pregnant but honestly just relax and enjoy the last week before the wedding.

He loves YOU - stop wondering why and just except it!

xxx

Oh Laura huni, ?.

Of course you're good enough for him and he wants to marry you, he wouldn't have asked if he didn't.

From what i've seen on here you're a brilliant step mum to his daughter and you will be an exellent mum to bean.

It's probably all your hormones going crazy and with wedding being only 8 days away you're bound to feel emotional.

xxx

Hey

Sorry to hear your feeling confused at the moment, but it sounds like a case of pre-wedding stress and pregnancy hormones. Your body is going through a lot, so having to deal with a wedding is bound to lead to a lot of emotions.

I think, from what I've seen on hitched, a lot of couples have tiffs coming up to the big day. But tiffs are going to be a part of married lfie anyway, it's how we get over them that count.

I deffo PooPoo your comment about being big and getting bigger as a reason he shouldn't be with you. He loves you and that is why he is marrying you, and as for you getting bigger, that is part of a wonderful thing!

Try to relax and talk calmly together, have a cuddle. Tell him how amazing you think he is and I'm sure he will same the same right back at ya. Everyone in a relationship thinks the OH is the most amazing thing since sliced cake... mmmmmmmmm Cake! I love that my OH will always get up to get me a glass of water as soon as I even venture near the kitchen. I don't do it for him, but he says I do other things he loves.

Don't fret my love. x

I feel like no matter how hard i try what i do isnt good enough, and he never complains,

he is so happy about the pregnancy and loves the fact that my bump is coming in thick and fast but because im so big to me it just dosent look like im pregnant, every woman i see is gorgeous with a perfect bump i look like the fat girl thats hit the doughnuts,

and the thought of having photos at the wedding is making me feel horrid, ive seen a couple of pics from fellow hitchers at their weddings with a lovely bump and they look blooming and fabulous (jade)

i am a swamp donkey, and i have always excepted this fact right up until 8 day before the wedding, when ive decided that its not good for my OH

we hardly argue had minor ones recently which is what has made me think he is having second thoughts. ive asked him and he has sent the most loving text but well i just dont know.

im such a mess and ive been so good not stressing etc but now its gone to pot

lara x

This is so sad to read.

Please dont feel like you are not good enough - if you wernt then why on earth would be want to marry you.

Now have a virtual slap and pull yourself together! YOU ARE GETIING MARRIED IN 8 FRIGGIN DAYS!!! WOOOOP

Oh lovey ?

I think you are just worked up with stress and nerves and pregnancy. I imagine every bride and groom have niggles as the day approaches as its such a big event and you have planned for ages.

Take a deep breath and enjoy these lovely last few days and try to relax.

He loves you and is marrying you in 8 days you lucky lady!!

xx

There's a reason he wants to marry you and that's because he loves you for who you are. I'm sure you are going to look gorgeous on your wedding day, bump and all. My emotions were all over the place the week before the wedding and I wasn't pregnant, so yours must be on overdrive! Also it is normal to have minor rows on the build up to the wedding with all the emotions and possible stress.

?

Honestly, I think this is a sub conscious reaction to his comment of his daughter not seeing him and her mum together. You're wondering if he thinks the same about your baby so your fight or flight system is kicking in to place (ie, you're protecting yourself from getting hurt if he left by convincing yourself you aren't good enough for him anyway).

But the reason he made that comment is about how their relationship was and that is completely different to your relationship.

The stress of the wedding combined with pregnancy hormones (and with that the deisre to protect your baby), on top of being ill (that was you, wasn't it??) is a huge thing to be dealing with all at once. So take some time to yourself to try and relax. Your OH loves you and wants to marry you. Let him know how you're feeling and why and let him reassure you as much as you need!

?

Im just mental, i think

yeah RaeF i have cfs/me which is proving a little more difficult to deal with during the pregnancy than i first thought but ive been ok, i havent broken down sobbing like i have been today, i have this stupid family get together tonight and i dont want to come across as i have cold feet. thats not it at all, i cant wait to marry him,

i didnt think that his comment could be because our relationship is different.

he said before he hates that im thinking that he is with me until he finds someone else but as i told him, i know im not good enough for him and out there is his perfect woman, but i can accept that and just feel luckily to have whatever time we have until he gets wise and realises, if you know the inevitable you cant get hurt as much can you

lara x

It sounds like the insecurity is a lot more deep rooted than the pregnancy / impending wedding so maybe that's something you need to get help dealing with? You can't go through life thinking he's going to leave you or it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy iyswim? As in, you'll always hold back a little of yourself so you don't get hurt and in turn he holds back a little. Would you consider having some counselling re the confidence issues?

Dont be sad chicken, Im 100% positive your OH loves you to bits and not only cuz your a fantastic step mummy to his daughter but because your a fantastic person who he wants to be with forever.

You know im in a similar situation to you minus the pregnancy and i have insecurities and worry im not good enough for my OH but i know deep down that we are meant to be together and i know you and your OH are meant to be together. You know your relationship is a million times better than his with his ex and a million miles different.

Your getting married in 8 days!!!! Thats so exciting and very overwhelming to a person thats not pregnant so i imagine its even more overwhelming when pregnant. You'll look gorgeous on your wedding day and all those pregnancy hormones will just make you glow and look so radiant and beautiful.

If you need a chat i'll listen. Take care x

Thank you all for your replies,

thanks raef yeah ive told the midwife and they have put me under a consultant, im not really a counselling sort of person, more of a grin an bear it sort of gal, just sometimes i lapse. i dont want to think that way, i know eventually if i think it so much it will happen, and it will be no fault of my OH i'll just push him away.

thank you vikki i must seem like a right nutter from yesterdays conversations to a total mess now, i need to sort myself out now, getting the baby tonight and have this family thing so i need to getting grinning

i cant wait until OH gets home from work, roll on 5.30pm

lara x

aw pet you have hormones and wedding jitters at the same time! Calm down pet! Relax and enjoy this next week! and take are of yourself and "bean"!!

Oh, hun , I am going to say word by word what MrsB_2B said in the first answer to this thread... It's early pregnancy hormones combined with wedding nerves. I used to be the same until i realised Mr Viking was thinking exactly the same!!!

Enjoy the wedding, the pregnancy, enjoy being with him! Don't read things into what he says...

Hugs,

VP

The thing is he chose you, and he wants to marry you, instead of thinking things that you are not good enough for him why don't you just prove yourself thatyou are the one he truly deserves, you need to calm down dear wedding bells are set off to ring in just a couple of days.

Thank you everyone for all your lovely words, still feeling the same today but i have my OH's daughter here keeping me occupied with trampolines and lollipops, she dosent allow you to be sad, lol

didnt get the chance to have a real talk to OH last night with the whole family get together, and it was so late when we got in i just flaked out, he just said i was being silly and it upsets him that i think this way , its not healthy for either of us

thanks again

lara x