do you get asked when your having kids........

We've been together almost 10 year now and have a 4 year old son, so for us it's been pretty much 5/6 years of asking when we're getting married ?

I'm sure if we were married though it'd have ben the kids question, people are forever being nosey haha.

Lol. I'm 41, will be 42 when we get married and OH will be 50 and I've still been asked whether we would consider having a child together. Apart from the fact that I personally think I'm far too old to be going there, we have 7 children already between us and have both been sterilised. It amazes me that people seem to think there's no point getting married unless it is to procreate - do they not realise you can have sex and children without a piece of paper????

Also, despite the fact that I love my four and wouldn't be without them for the world, I do recognise that not every woman wants children and I would never presume to ask someone if they were going to have any just because they were getting married.

Lol no - but as we have 6 between us I don't think anyone would want us to have any - including us!!!!

Hi, yep i get this all the time!! Im not sure if i want kids but people seem to think its ok to tell me that ill be pregnant by christmas or better yet they just know ill have at least 4 children? how do they know this when i dont even know what im having for dinner?

I am undecided about children too, I feel I want time for the 2 of us at the moment. I don't even know if I can have kids either! I feel the people asking are being nosey, in future they could ask this to the wrong person such as a couple who can't have kids x

I am undecided about children too, I feel I want time for the 2 of us at the moment. I don't even know if I can have kids either! I feel the people asking are being nosey, in future they could ask this to the wrong person such as a couple who can't have kids x

I've had this already. It makes me laugh, but I'd never dream of going up to someone and saying are you going to be having regular sex over the next few months then? And it's a potential sensitive subject as you don't know what kind of difficulties people may have when trying to conceive or whether they may even want children or not.

We talked a lot about kids before even deciding to get married. We both want children and are in our thirties, so we didn't want to wait too long. I didn't expect to get married before we had kids, but H2B surprised me with a proposal and we decided to just crack on with it! All our closest family know that we have made plans and are going to stick to them, so no one mentions it!

x

I must admit I don't think this question is as prevalent as it used to be. I think generally people are a little more aware of people's right to privacy and that people make their own choices and some would dearly love to but can't and of course that getting married now isn't just making it OK to have children (or perform the act that might result in nappies and a lifetime of massive expense lol. x

I must admit I don't think this question is as prevalent as it used to be. I think generally people are a little more aware of people's right to privacy and that people make their own choices and some would dearly love to but can't and of course that getting married now isn't just making it OK to have children (or perform the act that might result in nappies and a lifetime of massive expense lol. x

Oh my god all the time! Especially now we're actually married. My boss keeps joking about getting rid of me before I end up costing him a fortune in maternity pay (don't worry, he really is only joking). Family go on about it all the time!

They all know I can't wait to have kids but as I keep telling them, H needs a job first as he's been made redundant and has no job after June. We're not about to knock ourselves up when he could potentially be out of work for a little while.

Oh heck yes!! All the time, my best friends mum has put an "order" in for a baby from me, other friends and randomised asking all the time, and the mother of my step-daughters2b (we get on) saying she doesn't think I should have one cos of the girls-the girls by the way ask me on a weekly basis when they have a baby bro or sis lol (they're 12 & 14 so old enough to understand the situ)

thing is, we do ant one but it is sensitive as I am 34 this year and gad an ectopic when I was 19 so might not happen.

It's something I always used to ask people until a close friend of mine was trying for years and years with no luck and she was quite depressed about it, then another friend was pestering here about it and I could see h squirming and getting upset and I've since realised how insensitive it can be if you don't know the details! (You'd gave thought my own experience would have taught me that!!) anyway the good news on that front is they now have a very beautiful and healthy 6 month baby girl....

sorry about the long post lol, I suppose in answer to your question, yes and it's annoying lol!!! Xx

Before we got engaged, my grandfather encouraged me to "accidentally" get pregnant in order to elicit a proposal (it hasn't worked so well for his youngest granddaughter)!!

Nothing else from family so far, but someone I'd never met before asked me at a drinks event, which I thought was a little odd to say the least.

Yep. Asked all the time! X

Haha no. But l am guessing it will be right around the corner once we have got married. MIL is baby mad and OH is her favourite child so l am sure she will have something to say about it...

There's a 22 year age gap between me and hubby to be, so the question that really bugs me is 'don't you want kids?'....often followed by 'You'd better hurry up then' ...Well actually, yes I do, but he's who I feel in love with and if his age means we can't then so be it. I personally don't think his age will be an issue he'll be 53 when we marry, and you hear of plenty of Dads older than that, but if for that reason, or any other reason we don't know of yet, we can't have kids then at least I have the man I love to share my life with.

When we got engaged 3 people asked if it was because I was pregnant! I wasn't btw!

I can tell you it does die down, we've been married 3 years this year and people have given up asking us I think. It is annoying. I had an outraged face I'd perfected that I used when people asked that seemed to do the job.

No, as we have two already, but I'm pretty sure it would've been asked if we hadn't. We've had 'aren't you going to get married?' ever since announcing our first pregnancy. Not sure why people feel the need to be so nosey.

My approach to this question is to reply with:

'ah no I'm infertile'

that shuts the nosy buggers up. Either that or ask them how thier sex life is? After all that's basically what they are asking.

My OH will be nearly 46 when we marry, he is 12 years older than me so not such a gap, but we still get the comments that we should hurry up and have babies before it is too late/he will be in his 60s when they are teenagers etc! We will be trying after the wedding but haven't told anyone that.

ALL THE BLOODY TIME!! And it's so annoying, having been married for 6 months now and both being 30, it seems people expected us to automatically be having a baby. I don't mind my friends asking so much as they know that we do want children sometime in the future, but it's people from work asking that really pees me off. And people that don't know me that well but can assume they can make comments like that? They don't know if I want kids or even if I can have kids and yet they feel they can comment? It really annoys me. Rant over!

Yup. I'm almost 40 and got sterilised almost 10 years ago, but I wasn't with my H2B then, so people who I didn't know then have started asking since we got engaged. I always just say I can't have children cos I don't really wanna talk about the whys and wherefores. When I first had it done I did tell people but I got so fed up of "have you thought about this?" (nope, just paid out almost a grand to have an intrusive, permanent procedure on a whim!) and "but what if you change your mind?"

Urgh I get asked this ALL the time. Of my group of friends only 2 of us don't have children. I am about to turn 32 and it seems that I am now old in the eyes of my friends, and they don't know why I'm not champing at the bit to have children.

They don't understand the concept that i want to get married because I want to spend my life with the OH, and if it's just the two of us forever, well, that's fine - it is what I am promising after all. For better for worse. It seems the only reason in their eyes to get married is to have children. And rather than seeing each other as husband and wife, we should be seeing each other as a sperm bank, and womb to rent. Nice.

I wish people would stop asking me about it. I may have to adopt Mini's approach and tell people I am infertile to get them off my back. It seems the answer "I'm not sure if I want kids" isn't good enough, or makes me less of a woman.

If any of you are interested, Dawn O'Porter wrote a fabulous article about this on her website:http://www.dawnoporter.co.uk/Published-Article.aspx?publishedArticleID=54

Its not the people asking if we are having kids that annoys me, its the people who tell me that I WILL change my mind about not wanting them

Yeah, cus you know me better than I know myself don't you!!

We first had people asking us when we'd been together for around 5 months!! It seems to have died down now but I know OH's mum would love for us to have kids whilst my mum is already looking forward to being a grandparent thanks to my brother and his partner (takes the pressure off of us!)

We've been off contraceptives for around 7 months now and nothing has happened as of yet so I'm actually beginning to wonder if it will ever be able to happen.

The best one we had was "Well, we know you love a project so when the wedding is over with will you start planning babies?"

It was a bit strange. We are asked constantly and just say "one day". We're planning to try when we are on holiday at Christmas so will have to see how that goes.

All the time and especially when one your oldest friends makes a comment like 'Everyone wants children!'...

Do they?!

I've been married nearly 3 years now and my family have been quite good at not asking. I think because my mums a midwife she sees it all, she's asked me and I've said I wasn't sure about children and her reply was 'Well I'd love to have grandchildren but at the end of the day, it's your life!' And she's right. Just because I married doesn't mean I HAVE to have children.

Half of my friends have children but I think they know to not ask me now. My reply will always be the same for now 'I'm not at all broody in the slightest. I want to enjoy my holidays for now.' Don't get me wrong, I love their children, but I do like my quiet time once they leave and regain my house back to its tidy state!

I hit 30 and the end of March and for the first time I got asked the 'when are you having babies?' by my brother and one of my parents closest friends Joan. And I simply said I'm not ready yet. My mum was sat the other side of the table and I look at her face and I can tell she does want grandchildren. Maybe for the first time I actually thought 'should i do this?!' But I know I'd be kidding myself. And my brothers response was 'you'll never have kids, you've been married 3 years. If you'd have wanted them, you'd have had them by now!' Which he is proberly right...

Maybe Ill have a change of heart in a few years, it's taken Matt (my husband) two years to convince me to get a dog and I've agreed to one in June/July. Maybe looking after a dog will show me that actually I could be ready for children and it's not as scary as maybe I think. That I'm capable of not just thinking about mine and Matts life, that maybe we could have a life to look after together.

But for now, no children for me!

As for my friend at the beginning with her one liner, next time Ill respond and say 'if I can have kids!' Because until you try, who knows what your body is capable of.

xx

THIS

It's the one thing i'm not looking forward to after being married. We have been together for over 13 years and have had the last 7/8 since we finished uni of people asking when we were going to get married. I really wanted to but wasn't about to pressure OH into it so that was always uncomfortable. I later found out the reason he put it off so long was because he felt under pressure from other people to ask me.

We don't want kids. End of. We want to earn lots of money, build an amazing house together and basically spend our money on having an amazing time for the rest of our lives. I'm not broody and tbh (privately) i feel a bit annoyed when our friends announce they are having a baby. That's me being selfish though.

My brother and sister in law had a baby last July so that took some of the pressure off me with regard to grandchildren. However, my mother is so completely obsessed with my niece (who I love dearly) that I now feel like nothing I can do could ever compete with producing a grandchild for her. So, double-edged sword.

We already had 4 kids between us by the time we got married, so we never really got asked.

A couple of people (my mother included) did say "you're not having any more, are you?"