Do you get on with your Mom.....

We get on quite well. We have our moments and have rows and stuff. But think our relationship will improve once i move into my new house

x

Im really lucky i get on great with my mum we're very close. Ive had alot of crap and she's been there and ive put her through so much and she's always there when i need her x

Im really lucky i get on great with my mum we're very close. Ive had alot of crap and she's been there and ive put her through so much and she's always there when i need her x

We get on, but she can be quite critical which drives me up the wall. For instance I could get ready to go and have made an effort to dress nice etc and the first thing she will say to me is ... where's your earrings and will not often say o you look nice.

So yes, we do get on and she can be really lovely in other ways but the above drives me potty! That and she ALWAYS has to be right!

Not really...well sort of! We never got on when I was a teenager (I was a 'Kevin', plus she thought my lil' sis could do no wrong) but when I went to uni i.e. moved out we 'got on' much better, in that we dont argue. Much.

I wouldnt say we were close but we are civil and keep in touch a lot as I live about 200 miles from my parents now.

Since I've started planning my wedding she's done my head in a lot though and when I told her she was annoying me I got the water works saying 'fine I just wont bother coming to anything then' - very melodramatic.

xxx

We get on really well, we speak most evenings and have a good natter/gossip. Plus we've reached the stage where we can be pretty honest with eachother...I'm finally gron up enough to be allowed to disagree with her

Crafty - How come your mum has started saying things about you, has she done it before. Would you stand to listen to her honesty or would you bite her head off?

Tahdah, to be honest, other than in my teens i don't think i have ever raised my voice to my mom, or even had a heated conversation, and what she said wasn't particularly honest either, i think that's what annoys me most, if she'd said it to me i could have answered her.

i speak to my Mom daily too, but the conversations are getting shorter and shorter

Edited to add, I thinks she's always done it, only this time i found out.

We get on fairly well, and tend to see each other most days, we have the odd rows and fall outs but who doesn't?

Right now, my relationship with my mom is OK. After I got pregnant before marriage and stuff and went away from home and really hurt her she still accepted me and my family and now we are talking much more than before. I'm sorry that you're relationship with your mom is not well but the only way to fix it is to face her and tell her what you really feel. If you keep avoiding her then things might get worse and for sure she has a reason why she said what she said and you have the right as a daughter for explanation. Hope everything goes well.

I don't really get on with mine, she drives me a bit crazy! She isn't mean or horrible, we're just different sorts of people, and I don't really get her, she doesn't really get me. But we keep trying, which I guess is good in a way!

I used to get on with my mum so well I would call her my best friend. She then betrayed my trust so badly by opening my mail and reading my diary ( I was 18) that we didn't speak for 4months. It's now been 18 months and I still don't feel that we are back to where we were.

Also the wedding planning has been really stressful and she hasn't like anything I've done.

The most recent thing is the 1st thing she said when I told my parents that I was pregnant was "that's not great timing with the wedding 6weeks away". OH's mum on the other hand couldn't stop crying and immediately decided she would start knitting again. She was over the moon.

I don't think I'll ever do anything the my mum would approve. I'll just have to stop trying!

A lot of what others have been saying rings true for me. We get on, but mum and I are just completely different people, which makes it hard for both of us to understand each other. My brother can do no wrong though!

She also wants her input on everything from what pets we have to how we decorate our house. It drives OH mad, but she won't change and there's no point in trying to get her approval for things!

Have a hug Em, its not nice when they 'turn on you'. Just smile at the fact that YOU are a good mum

Our relationship is hard work. We've never been close as we're chalk and cheese.

I whinge about how much MIL wants to know about our lives, wedding etc but I find it much easier to go and have a coffee/chat with her than my other Mum.

I've not really done any wedding planning with my Mum. I took MIL dress shopping. My Mother pretty much told me to just tell her when and where the wedding was and she'd turn up.....

In a word 'No' ?

We've always had a argumentative relationship as she's the argumentative sort. She relied on my too heavily with my brother (he's 10 yrs younger than me) since he was born and it ended up with him moving in with me & H when he was 13 because they were rowing.

She's a recovering alcoholic, been sober for almost 5yrs now That's made a huge change but a lot of the reasons she turned to drink in the first place are still there.

She's just married a Tunisian and he's moved over here. He barely speaks a word of English.

She's very very childish, not 'motherly' at all. Mostly calls me if she needs something. She's crazy, angry and flies off the handle all the time.

Since meeting H, his family and having my son I've really distanced myself from her as I don't enjoy her company and have realised that I don't have to tolerate her behaviour.

She's fallen out with all of her family and I'm not allowed to even mention any of them to her, I'm still in contact with them.

I had my palm read in India and she told me to stop taking my Mum's stress.

She's crazy and my friends think it's amazing how normal I've turned out. I'm normal. Honest ?

It sucks but I'm making peace with the fact that this is the way things are and H has a lovely family and I have wonderful friends.

We get on really well, always have done. I never went through any sort of teenage-angsty "I hate my mum" phase like a lot of my friends did. We've been through a lot together and have a really special bond. The only time when we really came to loggerheads was when my partner moved in to the family home, we had nowhere to live and my parents decided to rent us out the top floor of the house as a little flat until we could find somewhere more permenant. It was really stressful for my mum and she started to resent us a bit. When we moved out everything went back to normal. Now I am an adult we are like two best friends, gossiping, going out for coffee. She's the best.

I think I am very lucky to have a very close relationship between us.

Thanks teehee xx

My mam died when I was ten, but my stepmum is a lovely woman. We don't always get on, and we've had many, many rows, but generally we love eath other. We just don't always see eye to eye, especially when it comes to my daughter, but hey-ho. Normal relationship, really.

My oh's mammy, I luffs her very much ? she's fab!

Em, your mum sounds like mine, so hugs from me too! I have 2 sisters and she is always saying bad stuff to me about them (in particular my middle sister, who she seems to think is a terrible mother to her 3 kids). Makes me wonder what she says to them about me! xx

Thanks Sid, thats exactly what my Mom is like, she says horrible stuff to me about my siblings, just didn't realise that she was doing the same to them about me.....

x

The short answer is "no".

I was a daddy's girl and my mum was very jealous so would be quite sly in her actions - pinching or slapping me when my dad wasnt around, saying comments again when no one could hear etc, but my dad got sick when I was 15 and died when I was 18.

I actually left home at 15 and moved in with friends as things were so bad, and I only returned home for the last year of my dads life. When he died, the very first words my mum said was "you wish that had been me don't you". I still find this incredibly sad.

I know that my mum didnt have a great childhood herself and I know that this has influenced how she is with me. She has never been very maternal and I have felt that I am nothing more than a pain to her - when I was 9 I broke my arm really badly and all my mum kept saying on the way to the hospital was that I was making a huge fuss about nothing. My dad on the other hand had to be flown back from where he was on secondment and then took a month off work with me. Same when I had glandular fever - my mum sent me to school who were less than impressed and gave her a telling off.

As an adult and now living so far away, we have a relationship that limps along and there have been times where I have seriously considered "divorcing" my mum and just getting on with my life. I am made to feel a constant failure - when I announced my separation from my husband all she could ask was what had I done to make him leave me. This couldnt be further from the truth.

Someone told me recently that I am a problem eater which means that I take everything onto my shoulders and I dont confront those that perhaps need a bit of sharp talking to such as my mum. I just absorb her slights, her lack of interest in my life, her inability to contact me, her apparent displeasure at my life choices etc. She has said some very hurtful things over the years including telling me to "f@*k off" etc. I know that she drinks a lot and that this adds to her situation and I am acutely aware that she was a widow at 40 when my dad died and then again when she was in her 50s when my step father died and that in itself must be awful, but this doesnt discount all that has gone on.

Sadly, to other people, she tells them I am the apple of her eye, but to me, she is unable to be this way and I have resigned myself to a monthly phone call (when she has time and isnt drunk) and a one week visit each year.

It's so hard as she is the only parent I have and also I have such a small family and I really would like to be closer, but I honestly dont think we can. I did suggest a few years ago that we went for family therapy and was told by her that I was being melodramatic as per usual. Sigh.