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venart
Beginner June 2013

Do you know your H2B's likes and dislikes re: dresses?

venart, 26 January, 2012 at 19:19 Posted on Planning 0 20

As it's tradition for the groom not to see the bride on the wedding day before the ceremony, and not to see her in her dress, I'm assuming no groom ever gets any input into what his bride picks out.

My SIL asked me last week if I knew what kinds of dresses my OH liked, and when I said no, she told me of how she knew my brother's preferences because she'd asked him what he thought about dresses when they went to weddings, and showed him wedding magazines.

So, yesterday I bought a wedding mag at my lunch break and after work I told my OH we were going to play a game of "tell me what you love/hate," and I started flipping through the pages. I hadn't realized the dress I've picked was advertised in this particular mag (I'd NEVER seen it in a magazine before), and it was one he vocally disliked! And the thing about it he disliked was what I like most about it; i.e. the coloured lace and burgundy sash Smiley sad He basically said he didn't like it because it wasn't white.

Basically it's got me bummed and I wish I'd never listened to my SIL about finding out what he likes. I know he'll think I'm beautiful no matter what I wear, and the coloured lace will be the last thing on his mind, but now I fear it will be on my mind.

Has anyone else learned what their H2B likes and doesn't like? Not just about dresses even, but could be things you really want at your wedding that he disagrees with or hates.

20 replies

Latest activity by ruby_tuesday, 29 January, 2012 at 13:05
  • SR
    Beginner June 2013
    SR ·
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    No it has never occured to me. I think he would like anything I choose just because I would be the one wearing it! I think your h2b is probably like this too, on the day i'm sure he will love you in it!

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  • SassyT
    Beginner August 2013
    SassyT ·
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    I haven't with my OH and this is the very reason why. Also when it comes to shopping I'd be conscious of HIS tastes and not mine and probably pick something that doesn't give me THAT feeling, I'll just be confident he likes it and to me personally, that isn't enough, I'm the one wearing it!

    I want to knock OH's socks off and knowing it wasn't to his taste his socks might still be firmly on.

    As for everything else, it's all jointly planned anyway and we haven't disagreed, the only thing we're butting heads on is the cake. I want a traditional tiered cake, he wants cupcakes ?.

    Oh, as for his suit, he knows the colour scheme so I've pointed out what sort of colours to go for with his waistcoat and cravat and the rest is entirely up to him, just as my dress is for me.

    I do think you'll be absolutely fine on the wedding day though, you'll be so full of elation at becoming his wife it won't even enter your mind ?

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  • RachTN25
    Beginner December 2012
    RachTN25 ·
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    I'm lucky as the opposite happened to me. We were watching the wedding channel (well i was watching while he was in the room lol) and one of the girls on there had a dress very similar to mine. My OH said how he really liked it and pointed out the bits that were the same as mine. Made me feel really good so feel for you as I would have been a tad gutted if I had had the opposite reaction. I'm sure that he won't even notice that on the day as he'll be totally focussed on you and probably won't even remember saying he didn't like it. xx

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  • ebony_rose
    Genius
    ebony_rose ·
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    It never crossed my mind to think wether my H would like my dress. I was the one wearing it, so i only cared about what I thought.

    I showed him my dress anyway, and he loved it as it showed a decent amount of ❤️❤️

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  • Kathryn_Tom
    Beginner March 2014
    Kathryn_Tom ·
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    Now this is an interesting one! I haven't tried a single dress on yet... but last weekend the OH and I ended up going to a local wedding fair. Just as we walked in they started a fashion show with wedding dresses, suits etc etc. I just stayed silent as I don't want to give away the kind of dress I would like to have. However the ones I liked, most of them had a lace overlay (I feel it just adds a bit of detail) my OH commented how they looked like they were made out of net curtains...! I really don't want a full lace dress... just something delicate lol. Although saying that when I try one on I bet I'll hate lace... (to be continued lol)

    Basically it's not as if your OH can do anything about it if he doesn't like it. If he loves you enough he wouldn't care what you're wearing (ok slightly too loved up of me to say that) I say white bin bag all the way! Haha only joking.

    x Smiley smile x

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Mine said the same thing about a full lace dress we saw!!

    Then again, I really don't trust my OH's sense of style. If he had his say he'd be wearing brown m&S jeans and old ratty polo shirts everyday, maybe with a hoodie. Luckily he's more than happy to let me buy him clothing as presents and for certain occasions, otherwise I think he'd just be wearing the same nice stuff he got when he was 17 years old (note: he's 32).

    I loooooove my dress. It makes me feel beautiful, so hopefully he'll think the same way. Knowing him, he probably won't even remember having seen it and disliked it! I may have to gently remind him, "hey, do you remember that time I made to tell me what dresses you liked and didn't like? well, you hated this one!"

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  • M
    Beginner December 2012
    MrsHargreaves2B ·
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    Dont worry, my H2B told me he likes fitted, simple dresses, and mine has a big hooped skirt and lots of detail. But I'm sure he will love it regardess, things always look different on, and especially when it is on the person they want to spend their life with!

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  • RedKitchie
    Beginner August 2013
    RedKitchie ·
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    I wanted something flowing rather than any structure. I hinted this to OH who said he liked the straight up and down wedding looking dresses (I interpreted this as A-line). So I thought Id try those on, but when I put on a flowy dress I loved it! It is corested underneath so gives an amazing hourglas shape which I know he'll love so I'm not worried. And his mum said he would love it! Don't worry about it. Just feel beautiful and that will make you radiant!

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  • F
    Beginner
    Flickerty ·
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    I was really stuck between two very similar dresses for a while and my OH has seen them both at some point. The one was in a magazine i was flicking through and getting him to comment on dresses - that one had a very positive comment ? The other one was in a shop window near to our house and I asked what he thought (as I do whenever they change the display) and he said "hmmm it's a bit granny-ish" ? Although i did eventually go for the one he liked, I genuinely don't think that his comments swayed my decision as I knew the 2nd dress looked fab on a real person and I know I've loved dresses on that I haven't been so keen on a hanger. The two dresses were so similar so it seems daft that he loved the one and hated the other - it was clearly a flippant judgement without properly looking so i really wouldn't worry!

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  • W
    Beginner December 2013
    wintersunday ·
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    I'm seriously considering bucking the tradition and taking my OH dress shopping with me. I'm not at all a girly girl and don't have many people around where I live to take with me, and he's way more into this wedding dress thing than I am! (If it were just down to me I'd wear a nice dress I already own and save a packet!) He has some very clear ideas on what he wants (long, A-line, probably strapless/ corset style, no bling, no rouching, not a huge skirt, little/ no train, maybe minimal lace or pearl details), and fortunately I'm not opposed to any of them (I really just don't care that much for the most part). The aim of the dress is to make him cry- and so really I feel I have to have his input from start to finish.

    ETA: that's not to say anything pro or anti anyone else's perspective, just to throw something seemingly completely different out there to consider.

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Haha, I love this! It's like how babies describe things before they have a big enough vocabulary to say what it is. Mine does that, too. He said he likes the ones that are "shiny" and to clarify I had to point to a satin dress and say, "you mean satin?" and he said yes. Oh well, sorry OH, I hate satin Smiley smile

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  • N
    Beginner June 2012
    Nicalf08 ·
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    I would feel gutted! However, dresses look a whole lot different when they are not on a hanger and especially by you the one he Is marrying! I'm sure he will change his mind on the day. We had a look through some magazines and kind of pointed out things we liked or disliked. I pointed to a very simple but elegant dress and asked if he liked it and he said he would be disappointed if I wore something like that :-o he is very traditional and like the big dresses. I do too but I was keeping an open mind until I went shopping. I didn't think about what he wanted when I was trying on dresses, it was all about me lol. I've gone for a fairly princessey dress but with a twist, it's unusual without being wacky, I told him about tands usual/non wacky bit and he said he was hoping I would say that. I do have the odd wobble bout the dress but I just keep remembering how I felt about it when I tried it on, I didn't want to take it off and tried on a variety of dresses after and none were right so it must be fine!

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  • D
    Beginner August 2013
    debs35 ·
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    I was browsing online through some dresses that i knew i was going to try on in a few weeks time, amongst the dresses that we looked at he said i really like that one, its my fave! we have similar tastes anyway, but i think he would like what ever i wear. I didnt give away that im trying that one on, plus some others too. sottero and midgeley katelynn is my fave, jesslyn is another im trying on too!

    I dont think its a problem if he sees the dress in a brochure. Just dont give away the fact you are interested in that particular dress!

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Exactly. I had to stop myself, because when he first said, "Now that I don't like!" I immediately asked, "But why?!" and I think he got suspicious, but I think I managed to play it off as a dress that I thought was pretty, not necessary THE dress.

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  • spaceman spiff
    Beginner May 2013
    spaceman spiff ·
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    If it's any consolation, I have been told by my H2B that he doesn't like wedding dresses, doesn't like white/ivory dresses and doesn't like formal type dresses. So all in all, I now have the impossible task of finding a wedding dress that I feel great in, and think he might like, when he has already told me he won't llike it! And he can't understand why this would upset me. MEN!!

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  • Sunshine42
    Curious November 2025 Kent
    Sunshine42 ·
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    My OH and were watching DTTB and he said "Don't these people talk beforehand?". I asked him what he thought I would like as a wedding dress and he said ...."Well, I know you don't like the big wedding dress thingy so... a suit?"

    A SUIT? Thank goodness we aren't on that show.

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  • BlossomJ
    Beginner July 2014
    BlossomJ ·
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    My OH is exactly the same. I love lace dresses but he hates them! I am choosing to ignore this as he only dislikes them due to the feel... OH was also a bit gutted when he remembered he wasn't going to see the dress before the wedding, and it was one thing we wouldn't be able to choose together!

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  • venart
    Beginner June 2013
    venart ·
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    Oh my god, a suit?! That's priceless! I'm pretty sure my OH would put me in a dress like princess diana's, as his description of wedding dresses was "shiny ones with big poofy sleeves" Minus the massive train though, he doesn't like trains. Oh, something we have in common regarding dress styles! Finally! Haha.

    I went to try on other dresses yesterday because I managed to find a good basque with actual non-bendy boning (From Rigby & Peller, though, and at a steep price), and I absolutely hated every dress they had. Except maybe a Justin Alexander dress. A few people on here have worn the shorter version, and it's beautiful, but I wanted lace above the bodice at least, if not sleeves, and not quite so big a skirt, so it's not quite right. It's really just solidified my desire for the dress I'd already picked out. OH be damned, I'm getting my dream dress!!

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  • R
    Beginner May 2012
    ruby_tuesday ·
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    I was asked this question by my dressmaker and my reply was " He'll have what he's given!"

    Mine is a Jane Austen style dress with extra length added to the back. It makes my boobs look bigger so i'm sure it'll do fine...

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