Do you like how you look?

No! I am definitely not happy. I am also the biggest I have ever been and I am so miserable! I am only 23 and am currently a size 14 and over 11stone which is bad considering 2 and a half years ago I was a size 8 and barely 8 stone! I have been trying to lose weight for a while and am desperate to be slimmer for our wedding! I joined Slimming world 3 weeks ago and so far lost 5lbs!! I really advice it as it is so easy!
What else would you like to change? Other than my weight I am not happy with my pale skin, hair colour, or my cellulite!
I have 400 days before my wedding and I WILL be a size 10 when I get married (if not I will be heartbroken). I know it sounds vain but I am just not comfortable at this size and it really doesn't suit me!

please don't starve yourself, it won't work atall! It sounds like you CBA cos you have tried and not got results, I know how you feel! I really advise Slimming World, it is a social night out if nothing else lol xx

I'm defo just comfortable (I really need to add that my iPad autocorrected defo to deformed).

i like wine and food too much and netball is pissing me off something rotten.

I am in my 20's and feel like this. ?

I do think that happiness and being comfortable with your OH come into how you feel about yourself. Just my opinion. If my OH told me I was looking porky that would be the biggest motivator to do something about it but until then I am 100% content with how I look.

There was a convo similar to this a few months ago about whether you dress to impress your OH and my response to this reminds me of that.

Mini, you have just described me.....add to that that I have bad skin (eczema), can't be arsed to do my hair so it's always tied back even though I know that's not how it suits me best, I never wear make up.

I look in the mirror and feel totally miserable about myself.................but obviously not miserable about myself to actually do something about it (I posted in the weight loss forum yesterday about being really pissed off with myself for lacking to motivation to get healthy and eat less/exercise more), I could get out of bed half an hour earlier and style my hair and put make up on but do I bother? Nope. Instead I just avoid mirrors!

Part of the reason for me is work....about 2 years ago I changed jobs and went from one social work agency where I was expected to dress for the office and regularly had to attend court, to another which dealt with lower level clients and more community work. There was no court work and the office ethos has an expectation of 'dressing down' so clients aren't 'intimidated'. So now I basically go to work looking as scruffy as the clients I deal with, I don't think it sets a good example and I don't like it, but I tried to rail against it for a while and just got heaps of criticism from the other staff and the manager. It's only going to get worse because in order to avoid redundancy I had to take the office admin job instead of renew my social work contract so I'll be facing the elements on the front desk - the previous receptionist used to wear a hat scarf and gloves all day in the office and as we're getting more into winter here I'm starting to see why.

So yeah, in short look crap, feel crap, but have zero motivation to change....... the only saving grace is my OH who tells me that I am gorgeous several times a day. I believe that he believes it too, so I'm grateful I've found the only person on the planet who can see beauty through all my self neglect and scruffiness!

I am fat (22/24) and spotty. I now go to aquacise at least once a week and I go for walks with H2B. Not because I'm unhappy about how I look, just because I want to be fitter. I love my chocolate and I'm a smoker, so anything I can do to counteract that is good!

I used to be a size 6/8 (I'm 5'11"). I was incredibly unhappy with how I looked. I had no boobs (28A wonderbra was my staple underwear). I was constantly worried about putting on weight. I was obsessed with watching what I was eating and doing enough exercise. My weight ruled my life. I thought that if I put on weight I wouldn't fit in and no one would like me.

Then I got fat and it was the best thing I ever did. I love having boobs and curves, I'm much happier in my own skin, I worry about my weight LESS!!! I'm more confident and I have real friends and an awesome H2B!

When I do get negative reactions (like I did at my first attempt at aquacise), it does affect me, but usually, I can draw upon how I felt when I was thin and boost myself up.

I'm now aiming to get down to an 18/20 for Christmas but I never want to be any slimmer than that. I am happier fat.

x

I'm a size 20 and would like to lose some weight but not because I worry about how I look strangely enough. I have osteoarthritis and I know that when I lost weight before, the pressure on my joints was lessened and the pain was better - not gone, but better so for that reason I would like to lose some weight.

I am not pretty. I have never been pretty and no matter what I do (without drastic plastic surgery) I will never be pretty. I came to terms with this a long time ago and it doesn't worry me at all. I've never lacked for friends or failed to attract people to me so I must be doing something right!!

I am short and again, nothing I can do to change that but all my family is short or at least, no-one is tall. OH is short too so we fit together nicely.

I have big feet - despite my 5'3", I have size 7 feet - I would change them. I also have hairy big toes - I am actually a hobbit ?

I have fat fingers, or rather, I have large knuckles meaning my ring size is an R so delicate little rings look stupid on me.

I have dodgy adenoids so permanently sound like I have a cold - especially worse at the moment as I have hayfever grrr

There is much I don't like about myself tbh but, at almost 42, I've learned to live with it.

My OH met me as a short, fat woman and fell in love with me - according to him I have the perfect butt and an amazing set of boobs. He says my eyes are beautiful and that the best parts of me are the ones you have to get to know - in other words, my personality. that does me fine ?

I would say, if it isn't bothering you that much - then stuff what anyone else thinks. Stop starving yourself woman - that just makes you miserable and doesn't actually help. If you really feel you must lose weight then do it sensibly, eat less and exercise more but if it isn't for you, then don't beat yourself up over it. If you win the lottery, get a dietician and personal trainer (that's what I'm holding out for ?)

Yes. I am trying to lose weight as I know I could be healthier. But I've worked incredibly hard on loving myself the way I am. I am quite fat, I'm a sexual assault and miscarriage survivor, I have arthritis, a lot of big keloid scars on my leg, I limp slightly and can't bend one knee - so regardless of weight, it's about learning to love a body that was 'wrong' right from the start and which I often felt had let me down. I've read tons of books and blogs on fat and disability acceptance and I try to spread a positive message of body love wherever possible (yes, this makes me sound like a ridiculous hippy). Great books to read are Two Whole Cakes by Lesley Kinzel and When You Eat At The Refrigerator Pull Up A Chair by Geneen Roth - I recommend them to everyone, but women especially. Having an OH who tells me every day how beautiful I am helps too - but I started this project long before I started dating him, and it would continue regardless.

No I'm fat, my back is covered in acne scars, my teeth are wonky and my hair is really thin.

I'm basically a munter.

I turned 40 the other week. I'm the happiest I've ever been about the way I look. I don't know if that's because I'm more comfortable in my own skin because I'm more confident or the fact that I'm comfortable with my OH and relaxed with him.

Sssh funkyone. I would (ha! That probably makes you feel worse!)

I am happy and confident when I have make-up and hair styled. it's lame to admit but without that I completely lose my confidence.

I had a really hard time at school and used to have a gang of girls following me around calling me ugly, every single day , as they were all in my form class. I was a pretty odd looking kid. I had a big fuzzy hair which my mum used to misguidedly brush, buck teeth (before years of braces), horrible glasses and so pale I used to get called a ghost. I also had a massive arse which wasn't quite as socially acceptable as it seems to be now.

It took me years to accept the way I look, but if being honest, that was really tied up with making the best of myself, and years of orthodontic treatment, laser eye surgery and finally working out how to manage my ridiculous hair was the making of it. Now I like my paleness, my big arse and again, and accept I just have odd hair and feel like I have a characterful face, and that's a good thing

I don't particularly think I look great but I've accepted who I am and am starting to be comfortable in my own skin. I used to hate my freckles so much and in the summer when they explode on my face I used to trowel makeup on to cover them up but now I'm happy to show them off and don't care what people think. I'm never going to be skinny because of medication I'm on, but I'm fairly happy with my weight as it is at the moment (even though I am plus size at size 14-16)because I've worked hard to get there. I don't know if I would be as accepting of my body if I hadn't lost the 3 stone though.

Part of it is me being in my 30's and growing up and part is OH's influence, boosting my confidence, making me feel beautiful and when I point out stuff like my pointy chin he reminds me how much he loves my heart shape face and traces a heart round it, little things like that really help.

In general, I think everyone compares themselves to other people too much, I used to compare myself to two of my friends and whenever I went out with them I felt like the ugly, inferior one but I know they don't like certain things about themselves and wish they looked like someone else sometimes too even though they are stunning. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other people and to quote someone or other we are all different and that's what makes us all beautiful.

This sounds a lot like me. I was teased cos of my clothes and wild hair and called "cripple". It led to a lot of years of insecurity and seeking validation from men. Ever since my late teens I've attracted a lot of sexual attention, and it took a very long time to realise that that was hurting and not helping my self esteem.

I seem to be in the minority, as I like how I look. I could do with losing a stone or two, as I'm two stone heavier than I was at the wedding...but I'm still only a size 12 and with the right clothes I wear it well. I would like to be a bit fitter, but life's general hecticness is preventing me from getting to the gym at the minute. I have a pretty face, nice hair, my nails are going through a good patch, I don't really suffer from spots. I am very stretch mark prone and have loads on my legs from teenage years, I don't like them but they are very faded now and I've grown used to them.

I'm saddened by how many lovely hitchers are unhappy with their bodies. They are such a small part of who we are, and you are all wonderful. From flashes I've seen we are a bunch of pretty otters!

I'm not happy atm with how I look.

I'm overweight (a lot) and although I've lost a fair bit in the last month or so and can see a bit of a difference I still feel like my face is bloated and like sea shepherd should be protecting me.

I really don't like my teeth to the point I rarely smile in photos etc, big worry about the wedding day - going to look like a right miserable rat I think!

Have bad skin (spots, eczema & allergy rashes that always appear)

Belly full of stretch marks that I absolutely hate but always fade when I lose weight so hoping with still losing and the help of bio oil everyday they'll be a bit less noticeable at some point!


Hoping when I lose the weight I need to and treat myself to some nice new clothes etc i'll feel a bit better, but do sometimes feel a bit down about it and comfort eat which makes me worse ?

In the grand scheme of things I know i'm pretty lucky and it's not a big issue so going to try and fix what I can and sod the rest of it - lifes too short to be unhappy so have to try and learn to like myself.

Me too. So many of us fall victim to societal pressure to look a certain way, and beat ourselves up cos we don't conform to the commonly accepted standard of attractiveness. And it makes me sad that it leads to neglecting self-care - I don't necessarily mean things that are regarded as 'beautifying', cos none of us owe it to anyone to look pretty, but just things that make you feel good like long baths, walking outside, yoga, getting your nails done, whatever. That feeling of somehow not deserving a particular level of self-care is so horrible and damaging. Treat yourselves kindly, people

☹️

This is me! I also have size 7 feet and big hands.

My teeth need doing, l always hoped l would have them do l got maried ☹️ I would like to have lost more weight for the wedding but anyway. Not helped by my Mum nagging me about my weight. I think she thinks l should cut my hair short, wear more make up and lose weight.

As Kochanski said then l am more kind of used to myself these days, l think it is geting older. I like to think l don't scare small children but you never know....

I'm 5 ft 5 and a size 10 with skinny legs and big size 7 wide feet that are really noticeable to me and people have commented on them nastily in the past. However, I don't let them get to me. Everyone is different and we all have bits we like and don't like. Things could be a lot worse for a lot of us.

Also, Funky - I know how you feel with the acne scars as although the roaccutane worked an absolute dream I am obviously still covered in the horrible scars but at least after all them years the acne has made an exit

I have been very up and down weight wise in the past. I managed to lose the drive to be "thin" and have accepted a curvy and wobbly but largely healthy body size. My weight is more stable now and I'm happier. When my weight was up and down I was unhappy (at either end of the scale). I comfort eat and love my food, so I allow myself anything but I buy things that come in portions (ie. mini magnums NOT a whole ice cream tub!). I have bad skin (with acne) and it takes a lot of effort to manage it and it cover it up, but routine helps here and stops my anxiety making me buy EVEN more skin care products. However, it is still the thing that I struggle accepting.

In terms of a research perspective... eating less makes you lose weight but exercise keeps it off. However, in the long term, maintaining weight loss over 3-5 years or more is incredibly difficult, and rare. I chose not to diet or lose weight for the wedding because I think I would probably just put it back on - and some.

I think an important issue is also what we choose to evaluate ourselves on. If we evaluate ourselves based on body - what does this say about us? How do we evaluate the people around us - friends and loved ones? If we evaluate others based on personality, courage etc. then we should see ourselves through this lens too right?!

This chat came to mind as I was cheering for the totally awesome larger lady pole dancer on BGT tonight. I would seriously vote for her. She has body confidence. A real inspiration.

x

My body issues are all PCOS/hormone related. Face and body acne, really oily skin, excessive sweating, big belly, facial hair, excessive body hair and now I'm starting to obsess over the fact that I think my hairline is starting to recede.

I lost about 10 pounds recently and I feel so much better about my weight now I actually fit in my trousers again. I couldn't go out without make up on though and my PCOS symptoms are really not sexy. I'm another one who was bullied and called ugly, and although it's taken me a long time to believe that I'm not ugly I don't feel pretty unless I've got a full face of make up on.

I do not like my appearance and never really have. I am a size 14 but feel a lot bigger, and I have acne which the doctors don't seem to care about helping me fix. I have bad scarring on my back and constantly look (and feel) tired thanks to the effing narcolepsy.

I wish that I had more of an interest in fashion as I think that nice(er) clothes would go a long way to making me feel more confident. I don't know how to dress for my size or shape and I get tired really easily when shopping so give up and go home!

I think my lack of motivation to change comes from resignation that this is the way I look and nothing will change that.

Definitely not.

I'm a size 16 and although I have lost about a stone since January, it's been really hard. I use MFP, keep my calories to around **** per day, walk everywhere and do other bits of exercise as much as I can but the flab will NOT shift. It's really quite demoralising. I don't know if it's linked to the fibromyalgia or not.

I also have rosacea, for which I had some kickass tablets a couple of months ago. Since they ran out though, I'm back to just using the cream and my skin has really started to flare up again. It makes me very self-conscious. And it hurts.

Interesting as same for me - but in a way it really helped me. Probably not the healthiest method, but as I started to attract more attention, it made me realise that maybe the b*tches at school were wrong, and I wasn't so repulsive....

I have a problem in that every time I look in the mirror, I want to see a petite, size eight with a flat stomach and amazing hair. The reality is slightly different! I am very very critical over myself and I could pick out a dozen things I want to change. I'd like to tone up and lose some weight, but apart from that the things I dislike are things I can't change!

So the last few weeks, with my second job, I've been buying the odd top or dress, I'm trying a bit harder to dress a bit nicer instead of my favoured baggy, black or long!! I'm trying to look in the mirror and like what I see. I do think it's working a bit. I mean I'm a size 10-12, I don't need to wear a lot of makeup, my skin is okay yet I struggle to see anything good in the mirror, which is stupid!

So yes, I guess I do, but it's very recent. I'm going to try and be a bit more positive, I don't want to spend my life unhappy with the way I look over silly things!

I'm not especially happy right now but I don't think there's much I can do about it so I'm not unhappy but neither do I really 'like' my appearance. At my 'happy weight' I was a size 12-14 but working out to that 30 day shred DVD every day for the wedding, and I don't have that in me now. Also I am less toned than ever because I haven't been able to go swimming - the rash I devloped over Easter left my legs a scarred, red disaster zone so there's no way anyone is seeing me in a costume!

Obviously my body is changing but I really have to accept it. My H keeps telling me how beautiful I am, and while I thank him for the compliment I don't truly believe I am. I know he sees me as attractive, but I'm not conventionally attractive and mostly don't even feel 'normal'. At 6 foot with 9 extra extra wide feet and now with my changing shape I find it hard to get clothes I feel confident or even acceptable in. Also due to the psoriasis getting worse with the hormone changes my scalp is a wreck so I haven't faced getting it cut in a while and I feel like it is looking really ratty. However at some point I will make that effort and then feel loads better, and I will find a magic outfit and everything will suddenly feel fine again!

I was the same as InkedDoll - when boys first staying paying attention to me I found it amazing, but it meant my entire self esteem was wrapped up in whether boys fancied me or not, whether I could pull on a night out etc. After I broke up with my ex before H I was in about 5 or 6 "relationships" in one year before I met H. I couldn't stand being single. This is the first time in my life where I am actually OK on my own, and if H and I don't get back together I wouldn't want to get into another relationship any time soon.

I have the opposite with fingers. Mine are boney wedding ring a size H. Shoe size a 2 I've come to accept them and the trouble they cause. I'm not short either well not really 5ft 5. Depending if I'm on steroids I'm a size 8 or 10. But I do get an awful moon face with them. Again I don't give a stuff.

Exactly. With the advent of the internet in particular, I was pretty much fighting off men who wanted to sleep with me. And that is absolutely not a statement on my attractiveness because I'm quite fat, scarred and kind of unconventional looking. It's just testament to the fact that men like women who seem to be sexually available. I was forever getting approached by men who were married and in relationships, which is super depressing (and I turned down obviously). I used sex as validation but at the same time it was actually making me feel worse cos these men only wanted me for sex - they weren't interested in my intellect or emotions or humour. I was quite slutty for a while and I absolutely defend women's rights to sleep with whoever they want without shame - but I reached a point where I was just emotionally empty afterwards and that's when I realised I needed to stop. But I have a few good memories of those wild years sorry, I seem to have derailed the thread a bit!

I flit between being ok with how I look and absolutely hating myself.

This weekend has been a perfect example, I've lost a bit of weight and was feeling good. Wore a lovely new outfit Saturday for a BBQ at the PILs. Though I was looking pretty decent. Saw some photos and I look horrific. Admittedly, none are posed, I'm eating in two of them and bending over in another, but still. Totally threw my good mood out. And today, got my cossie on to go to the pool at my gym, it's outdoor, and once I was there, surrounded by all these toned, slim women, no cellulite, I just felt like a moose, so I didn't stand up unless covered with a towel.

I've never been 100% happy with how I look. My mum has never been happy with how she looks and I think I picked it up from her. I was never popular with boys either until I was about 17. And even then, most of them were idiots.

A lot of people think I look good, but I think my perception must be so different from theirs. I want to lose about a stone and a half and have a boob job (this is a new idea), I've got a wonky face, a double chin and a huge arse.. I'm only 28, god knows how I will feel as I get older!

At a recent event we had a photo shoot and was told to put ourselves into height order, I automatically headed to the back as I have an image of me as Miss Trunchbull. I'm third from the left at the back. When I'm having Trunchball traumas I get this photo out just to kick myself up the butt, I'm not comparing myself to anyone else there just that I'm not this huge person that I visualise.

Does anyone really ever like how they look? I can honestly say out of all the women I know, they all moan and have hang ups over their appearance. Me included. The people i 'know' on here that say they're not happy a lot of the time, I'd say are hot, so just shows. I think we are all too hard on ourselves. But again, me included