Do you think i'm being mean? Opinions please :)

I have no opinion as we have no children in our families and so don't have the issue to think about - but - I just thought of a consideration.

At what age would they be considered too old (by you or your venue) to be in the creche & would this cause any problems.

Could one family be annoyed that their 7 year old wasn't allowed to the wedding breakfast but another couples' 9 year old was? If that makes sense!

I don't think you are being mean at all! Some people don't want kids at all there, but you are putting on child care, which not everyone would.

i am not too sure on the wording, but wanted to say that if I received an invite from my friends saying that we could bring our little one and put him in the crèche, we would be most grateful!!

Hi - thanks for your reply. The creche will be for children 0 - 12 years. Although I'd probably draw the line at 11 (if they were in secondary school)

Seems fair to me! :o)

I think you are being more than fair! You are not only inviting people to your wedding but you also are providing free childcare for them, like an above post said, most people wouldn't do that, I don't think we would factor it in!

I'm in mixed views, I think having a creche for the children between the ceremony and up to breakfast (so have speeches before food) and then maybe after the breakfast too... but I think the wedding breakfast is quite a big part of a wedding to miss out on. Plus, if they were in a creche, what and where would they eat?

Could you not just invite imediate family only - such as neices/nephews/cousins/siblings and your own children (whatever applies to you) only - so no friends children and no distant families children (such as cousins children - depending how old your cousins are)?

We had a no child policy at our wedding apart from my 4 month old granddaughter and H's niece (who slipped through the net).We enforced it quite rigidly, just by saying no to those who thought they'd ask anyway (sigh!), and it worked for us. I didn't get into any conversations as to whether or not it was fair or guests would have preferred it any other way - we didn't have room and children would have been bored senseless (and probably noisy) by our long and wonderful church service.

I also have a personal dislike of children on the dance floor - I tend to step on them.

So I say, do whatever you decide. You sound like a really nice and thoughtful person, so I am sure your friends will understand.

I don't think you're being mean. Given that some couple's chose to ban children altogether (and I understand why, although am not doing so myself) I think it's quite thoughtful of you to consider putting a creche in place instead. You won't please everyone, no matter what you decide, so just do what's best for you and yoru OH.

Its not mean at all! if you dont have the space you dont have the space but maybe check first if you havent already if they actually bringing their babies as some may leave them with relatives and you dont want to pay any money out for a creche if in the end it isnt needed, those with young babies may not want them there as there will be loud music etc i no i wouldnt x

I don't think it is mean. We were limited in our venue and as we paid for our wedding ourselves we wanted our friends there to celebrate. Our venue had another room and provided kids food for free. We arranged for a local nursery to provide childminders for kids 0 - 12. We got married at 3 and sat down to the meal at 5. We said the kids could rejoin after the meal. We asked for kids ood to be served after our ceremony so parents could be with kids if they wished whilst we had a drink and photos. No one ( well almost) complained and the kids had a great time. We bought lots of activity stuff for them to do, magic tricks to learn, t shirts to paint, jewellery making etc. hth

We made sure that we made a few trips during the afternoon to see the kids as they did want to see the dress. They loved the fact that we went to see them and ended up making lots of lovely?! Jewellery for me instead of themselves. Was nice for me and H to take a few minutes away from everyone and just have a minute to ourselves too.

We made sure that we made a few trips during the afternoon to see the kids as they did want to see the dress. They loved the fact that we went to see them and ended up making lots of lovely?! Jewellery for me instead of themselves. Was nice for me and H to take a few minutes away from everyone and just have a minute to ourselves too.

Blimey, i'd better stop drinking the water in Essex by the sound of it!

I think you're being incredibly generous in providing a creche- your plans sound absolutely fine to me. I'm honestly surprised when people get offended or feel that things such as this are disrespectful. Surely anyone with children (& even those without) will appreciate that more often than not, kids couldn't really give two hoots about things such as speeches? The rest of the day perhaps, but the speeches must be incredibly boring for children.

We're taking the "mean" approach and just having a complete ban, so again I think you're being very thoughtful & would hope that guests appreciate it.

Nope. Children+weddings= disaster

(in my humble cabbage)

I think a creche type thing is a fab idea...

We've gone down the route of Mr + Mrs Smith or Harry, Michelle and Little Tommy route....We've only invited children who are either relatives or we spend a lot of time with....so 45 adults, 4 7year olds and then two infants who are free anyway.

x

We didnt have any children at our wedding, as dont have any ourselves, & the cost to feed them was £30each (half the adult cost). Many parents said they were grateful for a night off.

My SIL did a creche at her wedding in an adjoining tent/mini-marquee. One guest runs a nursery so 2 of her young staff came to run the creche on the night & got paid a fee by the bride for their time.

They had set up a TV in 1 corner with cartoons, there were also giant jenga & connect 4 in the garden, drawings & colouring books. Another corner had a playstation set up for older kids. They also had one end with no lights on so the babies & young ones could nap. It seemed to work well & there werent hundreds of kids running around all night. I think they were all fed in there, unless they wanted to be with their parents.

Hi! we're having a creche as well, but I didn't put anything on the invitations. Instead, I've personally spoken to everyone who will have children at the wedding. As there seem to so many more for your wedding, why not have an insert that will go only to the parents that has information about the people providing the creche, and says something like, 'while the adults are enjoying their meals and speeches, the children will be having fun in the wedding creche!" Then perhaps mention the kinds of things available for the little ones to play with, and that parents can provide any favourite toys. I'd add in small print that due to space restrictions children will only be allowed in the main wedding breakfast if on parents' laps, though, just so people know what's allowed.

I think it's a very sensible decision.

We have 8 children coming to ours and I love them all and would hate for them not to be there (asking 3 of them to do a reading). However, I know that I can trust the children to behave and their parents to make sure they behave. Not everyone can do that. Plus they are all children of my school friends so live in Herts & we live in Suffolk so couldn't expect them to get baby sitters for so long.

If I had children I would be more miffed to be invited to a wedding where my children weren't wanted than one where a creche was provided.

I think a creche idea is very generous.

I am one of the evil b*tches who banned kids from our wedding, apart from a couple of older family ones, and a couple who rather annoyingly slipped through the net. Oh and one in utero - again, slipped through the net.

I think having a creche is a great idea!

I love weddings where the couple are not only thinking of themselves - a creche is a great way to keep the little people entertained / occupied.

Good on you!

Well I think it's a brilliant idea and very good of you to offer it. It's the perfect compromise. I'm having a very similar problem at the moment and have decided no children at all. Communicating that to my closest friends hasn't gone down well but what can you say? So no advice from me on how to best word it, I've done a bad job myself already.?

Good luck with the planning x

Thank you for all your comments The creches that I have been looking at offer amazing things including nappy changing and feeding

Nearer the time I will check with the Mum and Dads and see what they want to do, if the majority says no then I might put an all ban a part from nieces and nephews

I think you're being very thoughtful. At a wedding with a similar idea the kids weren't supposed to be at the meal and no seats were available for them. However, quite a few turned up during the meal. The small print you suggest would be a good idea so parents know kids won't have seats.