Does counselling help?

Short answer: probably

Long answer: Depends on the person, the problem and the counsellor. Most people probably receive some benefit, although that too varies. Some will feel the benefit quite quickly, others will spend years over it and some find the experience a complete waste of time.

The question is, do you feel it is helping your situation ? Maybe you can steer the conversation back to the subject you're interested in.

What pieman said.

Yes, if you engage with it, if you want it in the first place and if you get on with the counsellor. Otherwise, no.

W P&AP and PL S! For me it really worked, but I had loads of recent stuff to deal with, and as it turned out some stuff from my past too. Sometimes talking about you past can help you deal with recent things though as it tends to reveal things about your personality, which will affect how you have dealt with whats been handed to you.

For me it was distancing myself from the job in hand, and therefore not dealing with it, due to being an eldest child in a divorce and having to be strong for others, which led to and almost obsessive desire to be liked in case people left me.

FWIW the first few sessions were tough, but the counsellor was trying to 'set the scene' as it were. Things made much more sense after a while. Stick with it and give it a chance! HTH hun, and let us know how you get on. Oh, and pm me if you need to!

WTS

Absolutely. If I didn't have counselling I think my head would explode. A massive part of my depression/anxiety is not being able to open up to anyone, My Nana was the one I used to talk too and after she died my problems started. It did rake up all old emotions from when my Parents split up and being the eldest I felt I should be strong for my brothers, but it didn't do any harm going through it all again.

The first few sessions were very draining, infact I cried all the way through the first 5 session, especially if we talk about my Nana. but now I feel like I am making headway. My only critisism about it is I get one 1/2hr appointment every 4 weeks due to the constrains of my GP practice and I find that I don't really get chance to deal with things properly some weeks.

I have been referred for some bereavement counselling too. You really need to stick with it ? its hard sometimes but it does work.

I think it definately works, but you have to have the right councellor - like all professions there are some good and bad, some that you get on with and some that you don't.

I had councelling about 9 years ago, the councellor was so bad that she made me 10 times worse - she was so interested in talking, she never asked me any questions, was very judgemental and we just didn't really get on. I decided to stop after a few sessions.
It actually put me off councellors for a long time! But I've recently found a great one and he is wonderful. We gel really well and i feel he's exactly right for me.

Don't be worried if you have to change to another (if you can) if you're not getting on with your current one. I must admit I found the first few sessions draining too - but I haven't cried at one (yet). I have a 50 min appointment every 2 weeks at the moment, and that seems a good amount of time.

I think you do also need to be careful that your counsellor is properly qualified for your particular situation. Counselling can refer to anything from a nice cup of tea and a chat to full therapy and you need to be sure you're getting the right thing from the right person.

I actually like the counsellor and feel quite comfortable talking with her. I have 1 hour sessions every week for 10 weeks then it gets reviewed! i.e. work decide whether to pay for some more!

I think I just don't like the idea that talking about my childhood, makes it sounds very unhappy when really it wasn't and then I get defensive about it IYKWIM

Think OH's afraid it changes me but he is being very supportive otherwise!

I've recently started training as a clinical psychologist and much of the teaching we've had emphasises how important it is to ask people about past experiences. It may be that there is some significant event in their past, be it some sort of loss/bereavement, a traumatic event, some sort of abuse/neglect - anything really which might have some significant relationship to the current issues. Sometimes just issues about what coping strategies people learnt from parents, whether issues were openly discussed in the family etc are all relevant. It might not be that the counsellor is fishing for something that your parents/family did 'wrong' but just trying to rule things out and to gain a bigger picture of you as a person and what made you who you are!

I think though, that with any kind of therapy, it is vital that you feel comfortable with and trust the therapist. It should be a collaborative experience and you should feel able to talk openly without fear of being judged. It might take a few sessions to gauge how well you can work together. If somebody isn't happy working with the counsellor/therapist they've been assigned to, they have the right to request to see a different person, because the therapeutic relationship is vital to the outcome.

I hope it does help you. Several people I know have had some form of counselling and found it to be helpful.

I wouldn't imagine that the counsellor is trying to get you to confess to having a traumatic childhood or expecting that there will be big revelations of anything. It IS useful to look at the past, as Clairebecky says, because it can shed light on why the same experience might affect different people in wildly different ways. It's not about judging your family or parents, or at least it shouldn't be.

Will it change you? Well, you never know ? it's like any life change in that it might make partners twitchy if they see their partner evolving in a way which they don't share at the moment.