"Doesn't your husband take your money off you?"

Just goes to show how people have very different ideas of how life should be!

I know a couple who do this. The wife gets spending money.

Wow!

How odd. Now waiting for Mr Erin to "buy me stuff"!

Wow. How old, pb?

It's very very common. My years in customer service showed that many women were given housekeeping money be thier husbands...even though they worked. Quite often they wouldn't have a bank account either.

I used to come across women who had no idea how a dd worked, how to pay a bill, read a meter etc. was a bit of an eye opener for me.

I'd hate this. My OH suggested having just one bank account but whilst he did this to be in my favour as he earns much much more than me I would still hate it.

I like having my own money (dispite how little there is of it) & not feeling like I have to justify anything I buy.

If anything, we are the opposite way around and H gets spending money ?

Only because I take care of the joint account though, we both have our own spending money really.

This describes my Mum to a tee. Her and my Dad have a joint bank account and although she always worked, he runs the finances at home. She wouldn't have a clue how to put petrol in her car either as my Dad always does it for her. She is almost 70 so I guess that maybe that's slightly more acceptable but it's still scary!

I keep my own money and still spend Mr Ska's ?

Same! But Mr Hod of course

This is me. I'm a SAHM, so don't earn a wage. I hate the idea of a joint account, so H puts money in my account each pay day, then gives me some each week for "housekeeping".

Apparently we're allowed to have jobs and vote and own our own property and stuff now too.

me too!!

we have our own accounts and joint one for household bills and essential food shopping, ergo beer chocolates etc we get for ourselves from our own cash. We both have different approaches to money and different spending habits so we knew from the get go a full shared account would because a breeding ground for discontent. but, i let Mr E buy me things

We have completely joint finances, but I have just as much control of them as H does. I had to resign my job to go with him when he had to travel for work, and won't be able to get a new job until after baby now, so all I'm earning is from my casual museum job. H doesn't even like to spend money, though. He's much happier with me doing all the shopping for us all. We discuss big purchases, but even when I asked if he would be the one to look into and buy a tv he left it to me to do it!

hearing stories of situations like this makes me think of the movie Waitress.

I know a couple of people like this, one her H tells her the max she's allowed to spend on a night out.

OH and I have a joint account and our own accounts but who's money we use gets a bit blurred. I'd always feel like I needed my own account though.

Slightly off topic but along the same lines... I hate it when you're in a restaurant and go to pay when the waiter/waitress automatically hands the card machine to my OH. Why shouldn't I pay? Why do most people think the man always pays for a meal and such like? Really gets on my nerves! It's the same when men take women shopping, although my OH has bought me the odd thing now and again, the majority of the time I pay for it myself.

For the record though I do think it's different when you're a SAHM or SAHD and one of you is earning and one is looking after the kids.

We're quite strange when it comes to money - OH doesn't have his own account here in the UK, it all goes into our joint account. This works well for us - neither of us feel bad about what we spend, but I look after all our finances as OH got himself into serious amounts of debt when he was back home in Aus and so he actually prefers it that I have control and can see all his spending! Doesn't work for most people, but strangely does for us!

This is me exactly, we have a joint account where we both pay in to cover all bills, food etc but we still have our own money to buy whatever we want with. Even though it would work in my favour as OH earns much more than me I would hate having to justify every little thing and wonder if I had spent more than I had earn't each month.

I've never even considered a joint account with MF, even after the wedding? At the moment we just don't split bills, we just pay some each out of our own accounts and it works out about the same, but if it doesn't, it really doesn't matter that much as we'd consider it 'our' money either way.

All our money is combined, I genuinely can't understand having your money/my money in a marriage. That's just me though!

We have friends who regularly bicker about who should pay and list off all the recent things that they each paid for. It makes me cringe.

No, we don't have joint accounts either. H2B earns a fair bit more than me, but I still like having my own money separate. He pays the rent, bills etc and I transfer him my half from my account.

I was telling my OH about this yesterday and it led to a discussion about what we would do once we get married. It occurred to us that I'd just assumed we'd carry on having our separate bank accounts, whereas OH had assumed we'd open a joint account as well. I'm a SAHM at the moment as I'm studying for my degree but OH is 8 years older than me and will therefore retire first - assuming I get a job within the next couple of years!!! It makes sense for us to keep our separate accounts but to open a joint savings account that we can both access. I would feel very uncomfortable at the moment having just a joint account as I cannot contribute anything financially. The only money I receive is the child benefit and tax credits etc... Conversely, OH would have no problems with it, but agrees with me that it's just more convenient and sensible to carry on the way we are - if there is ever anything I need, he happily hands over cash but I only ask if it's a genuine need, not a want - makes sense to us anyway!

We don't keep track of who buys what day to day, that's why I like having the joint account. All boring stuff is covered and it's paid by both of us.

What do you do about birthday presents, or little surprises if all your money is in the same pot?

Ours is completely joint too, it's the only way I can control my spending, I have gotten myself into stupid amounts of debt in the past. I know that if H can see what I'm spending then I won't spend as much (this was completely my idea).

Ours is completely joint, including any birthday money we get. We each still have our own accounts open, but we only use one of them if we need to keep money to one side for something, so it doesn't accidentally get spent.

I know it works for lots of people, but I can't imagine having to split a meal out, the weekly shopping etc.

For presents, it's more the thought of getting it, rather than how much was spent on it. So, for example, him "paying" for me to have my hair done if I was going to go anyway, would be a pointless present, but him going out and getting me a voucher for a massage would be a nice, thoughtful present, even though it had come out of our joint money - does that make sense?

I get annoyed at this too. And a massive generalisation incoming but I seem to notice that it's more prevalent when the staff member is 1. male and 2. perhaps continental. The last time we ate tapas, I paid (from joint account, was first to retrieve a card) and I swear the Spanish male waiter had a small smirk on his face when my husband directed the card machine to me.

This drives me barmy. Like he's less of a 'gentleman' for some reason because I'm paying? Sod off, waiter.

Does your bank card say Dr on it, Footlong? I find that confuses them even more, apparently the news that we can go to university and get medical degrees/doctorates hasn't reached some parts of the population yet.

I don't really like it when men are expected to pay the bill. Or open doors. Or be Gentlemen.

It's nice, sure, but the whole man pays thing should not be expected by waiters. Or at least I would hope it wouldn't be expected.

My H will walk on the side of the road, sometimes hold my chair out, holds doors for me etc, but equally I open doors for him and pay our way.

For the person who asked, the girl is 15. She didn't know how her parents worked things. But then today she also asked me if I had passed my English GCSE to be an English teacher, so I'm not sure I can be too surprised by any of her questions any more.

Totally agree with this, my OH is lovely but he shouldn't be expected to pay for my meals all the time and I like to treat him too.

We're pretty balanced with money, we don't split everything down the middle completely as my OH earns less than me but we both pay our way and help each other out when needed.