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Beginner October 2011

Don't know what to do - where is he??? (Update; He's home!)

SuperSpud, 12 June, 2014 at 00:31 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 92

It's half past midnight. I got a text off H at 21.40 saying the car wouldn't start and he was stuck in Liverpool (where he works). I told him to phone the AA, texted him the number, but he couldn't find the membership card from the aa in the car and the AA won't look at the car without the membership card being shown.

I rang my Dad and we both went to where H works to pick him up. No H, no Car. Ok, so perhaps he was working from another office in the afternoon. We traipse off into the City Centre to the only other site (there's 6) which he'd likely to be at. No H, No Car. I know he sometimes parks the car at one of the Cathedrals, so we tried those car parks. No H, no Car. We drove around the streets looking for him on foot or trying to find the car parked up somewhere.

We had to call it a night because how do you find someone in the dark in a large city where you don't even know where they were originally? I thought H was in Tuebrook, where he works. I texted him to ask if he'd found the membership card and he replied to say he hadn't found it at 22.51 but since then - radio silence. I've rung several times, left voicemails and texted and had no reply. I don't think his phone is flat or off, as it doesn't go straight to voicemail - it does ring a while and then goes to voicemail.

I'm veering between being angry at him (honestly, he's been a bit of a t*t these past few days) and being worried something serious has happened to him.

Dad suggested phoning the non-emergency police number as technically he's missing and he does have a number of medical conditions. I've said if I've not heard anything by morning and he hasn't turned up, I'll phone them then.

Where the hell is he????

92 replies

Latest activity by *J9*, 27 June, 2014 at 10:15
  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    Very worrying CE. Is it worth phoning the non-emergency number and providing them with car details, or perhaps phoning AA...everything is automated these days, perhaps there will be an update on their system?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    Thanks for your reply MY. I've just phoned the AA they haven't received any calls regarding our car (it's the car which is the 'member', not us), so H never rang the AA.

    I'm dithering over phoning the non-emergency police number - if he's just tucked up somewhere, could be embarrassing! But if he's safe, why hasn't he let me know? He must know I'd be worrying. There are people I can check to see if he's with them, but it's 1am, they'll all be in bed, and if he isn't with them, then that's more people worried about where he is and again, if he's kipping on someone's floor, why hasn't he contacted me.

    Gah. Make a decision woman!

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    I'd phone the police and ask them to search the area for the car. I think by now it's worth phoning friends as well.

    On the one hand, you could disturb them for no reason. On the other, he could be in trouble.

    People will understand you contacting them.

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    Would he go somewhere and not contact you?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    Just rung the police. They're sending an officer round and will circulate his description & our car's description to the City of Liverpool police.

    Please, Sean, just get in touch.

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    I wouldn't have thought so, I'd hope not. I've left him 10 voicemails, rung his mobile 70+ times and texted all asking where he is and can he contact me as I'm worried about him.

    He's been in a grump these past few days, really off with me & my parents, and Dad wonders has he stropped off on purpose to prove a point. I hate writing that Smiley sad

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    I'm sure it's just some misunderstanding love. Something daft like he has managed to lock the car with his phone in it or something. Sending huge hugs ?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    He's home!!, he's Home!! ? ?

    Someone gave the car a good push and he managed to get the engine going. Just phoned the police back, feel a bit of a twit but he's home!!

    Thank you so much MY for the handholding, I was going slowly crazy here by myself. Thank you

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  • Mellow_Yellow
    Beginner May 2012
    Mellow_Yellow ·
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    Hurrah ?

    Now beat him up for not answering his bloody phone! ?

    So glad he is home, hope you can get some sleep now.

    Night night CE ?

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  • Pompey
    Beginner June 2012
    Pompey ·
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    Only just seen this! Blimey Mr CE, you sure had your lady worried. Hope you've given him a good telling off and a hug.

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  • SillyWrong
    Beginner October 2014
    SillyWrong ·
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    Urgh god - I totally know what that feels like, when OH and I first moved in I spoke to her before leaving work (5pm) and we talked about what to have for dinner that night and then she didn't get home til about 11.30! I was beside myself, didn't know what to do, knew she wouldn't have gone anywhere without telling me, didn't want to call the police (promised myself I would if she wasn't home by midnight) ... turned out the hospital she works at was on fire and she was there manhandling teenagers who were trying to use the opportunity to do a runner (she works in a secure psychiatric adolescent unit). She didn't have her phone or access o the building and didn't know my number! She knows it now!!!

    It's silly really, if I'd have called the police they'd have told me there was a fire and that everyone was safe!

    I'm glad your H is home safe ... give him a big kiss and then a big slap! What's his excuse for not being contactable!?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    Phew, stressed doesn't cover it. The police were lovely and happy he was home safe.

    He said his phone battery died, and it didn't occur to him to try to find another way of contacting me (public phone in a pub, borrowing a mobile etc). He said he didn't have money for a public phone box. I thought you could still make a "reverse charge" call from a phone box but I guess not or H didn't know how to do this.

    I've had a look at the car (not that I know heaps about cars, but I know more than H) and it's started up no problem with no warning lights at all on the dashboard, so don't know what on earth happened last night.

    I was so relieved he was safe, I wasn't angry, I just burst into tears on him.

    I'm wrecked this morning, though.

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  • C
    Beginner July 2015
    celticcurl ·
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    I'm really sorry to be the voice of doom - I don't believe him.

    You'd already said his phone was ringing before going to voicemail so the battery hadn't died.

    You went to all the places he might be parked and he wasn't there, if someone had helped him start his car before you got there then why wasn't he home before you instead of hours after?

    Sorry but nothing about his story rings true.

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  • *J9*
    VIP March 2014
    *J9* ·
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    I agree I'm afraid. It all just seems a bit odd. Sorry.

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  • W
    Beginner December 2014
    WinterBride14 ·
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    Sorry, i'm another one that doesnt believe him.

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  • Pompey
    Beginner June 2012
    Pompey ·
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    I must admit that I am a little suspicious, however, that's just how I am since ex did one over on me...

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  • Red Kite
    Beginner
    Red Kite ·
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    Wow CE what an evening and not one you want repeating! Firstly I hope you are ok and I am glad that H finally rocked up. Like the others I am a little cautious - but there may well be an innocent explanation. If it were me I would be quizzing him a little more - but I am sure last night you just felt relief that he was safe. Whilst we are all probably a suspicious lot from the outside it certainly looks a little...unexplained? Sending hugs and I hope you've not been too tired today!

    xx

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  • Tiny-Tiggs
    Beginner April 2012
    Tiny-Tiggs ·
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    CE so pleased he is home safe, it must have been very worrying for you.

    I am sure if there is something amiss with the explanation you are already aware of that yourself, just remember the otters are always here for you. ?

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  • *J9*
    VIP March 2014
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    This too. I hope it is as innocent as he's said it is. ?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    Okay, so I asked him this morning where he'd left the car joking about how we must have missed each other. He said he moved the car at lunchtime because he knew he was going to work late and the office car park closes the gates at 6pm prompt and he didn't want to get locked in. He said it was parked around the corner from the office. Fair enough, I've done that myself when I worked full-time, but when I texted him to say Dad had picked me up and we were on our way to get him it would have been immensely helpful had he texted back with "ok, I'm in xxxx street".

    I have taken the car to a garage to see if there is/was something wrong with it. They phoned an hour ago and said they can find no fault with it.

    H has spent the day in bed, he's been sick several times. My Dad thinks he's been on a bender last night and is suffering for it today.

    Thanks everyone for your replies, otters rock! - I agree, it does sound iffy. I might employ my mother's quizzing tactic - let the subject drop for a while and then bring it up at odd, unexpected moments.

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  • OB
    Beginner January 2011
    OB ·
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    Very sorry to say this but he sounds like a compulsive liar. Is this out of character for him?

    Hopefully it was just a drunken night out, but I do not understand why he would need to lie about that...

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  • AuntieBJ
    Beginner September 2014
    AuntieBJ ·
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    CE, I am always the first to believe the best of people, but when the excuses start to mount up, even I start to wonder.

    However, one bender isn't a humungous problem - if it is one bender. Has he done this before? Or does he have a tendency to go on alcoholic binges?

    Also, of concern - if he was on a bender, what the hell was he doing driving?

    In your position, I would want to believe him, but I'd be driving myself mad wondering!

    Huge hugs and hopes that you sort it out xxx

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I have no idea if he's lying CE although it definitely smells a bit fishy.

    What I would say is I certainly wouldn't be 'joking' about missing each other or casually dropping it into conversation at a later date. There are far too many holes in his explanation for my liking and I would want to get to the bottom of it.

    Did you see his phone last night? Was is flat?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    He said once he got the car going, he plugged in his phone and got a partial charge in it. I found his phone in the footwell this morning, it had half a full charge in it. It's still got a charge now. I'm intregued as to why it suddenly 'died' when I started asking where he was. If he has been round a mate's house, playing xbox or the piano and forgot the time, then that's cool, but just tell me. I'm not a fishwife, I don't mind him spending time with friends.

    When he came home, he was shaking and started being sick. He's not even smoked a cigarette today, which is very unlike him. He's still in bed and has been for most of today.

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    Ok, I'm just going to ask the question. Feel free to ignore me or tell me to sod off. Do you think there's any chance he's been with another woman?

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  • S
    Beginner October 2011
    SuperSpud ·
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    I can't tell you to sod off, as I've been wondering myself. I don't know, but it is the thought that keeps running through my mind. There is a lady he works with, very pretty, tall, slim and she writes the reports from his database statistics so they work closely together. But I don't know how much is just my imagination and insecurities and I don't want to accuse him of something if he's innocent.

    I went back over the texts this afternoon. I said I'd ring dad. He replied "no, it's ok, I'll find the card" twice. And the moment I texted "we're at the office - where are you" he went silent as his phone 'died'.

    It's all bloody odd.

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I'm really sorry if I overstepped a mark, lovely.

    I agree you can't just accuse him.

    BUT you know he's not telling the whole truth. I can only say what I would do in your situation. Which is say just that to him - you know he's not telling the whole truth, that's obvious, and you want him to tell you what he was really doing last night.

    I wouldn't give him any options like 'were you round a mates, having a drink etc'. Let him answer without any prompts.

    And see what you feel from his answer. I'm sure the worst case scenario isn't the one that happened, although obviously there's a small chance it could be. It's not fair that he's putting you in this position where the worst doubts are going around your head.

    I hope you get to the bottom of it, CE. x

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  • Tiny-Tiggs
    Beginner April 2012
    Tiny-Tiggs ·
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    I agree with what kharv said, he's been really cruel to you, even if he didn't intend it. I personally couldn't cope with the uncertainty and lack of valid explanation. Big hugs.

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  • *J9*
    VIP March 2014
    *J9* ·
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    Agree with kharv and tiny tiggs. In your situation I'd be driving myself crazy with all kinds of things running through my head. I hope he tells you what really happened and I really hope it's innocent.

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  • Kjay
    Beginner August 2013
    Kjay ·
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    Hey love- hope you are okay. Not been around for a bit but this seems a very odd thing to read from you about your H. I also agree with kharvo et al, hope you get some straight answers. X

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  • Red Kite
    Beginner
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    Morning CE how are things? ?

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  • TheRealTricks
    Beginner January 2012
    TheRealTricks ·
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    I read this yesterday morning and didn't want to comment as it all sounded very odd. FWIW, after reading this this morning my opinion is there was no other woman. I think he's been on a bender and driven the car home drunk, obviously too embarrased to tell you the truth. If I was you, I would be on at him until I had an explanation as this would be driving me mad.

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