Don't read this if you have addictive tendencies.

I think I'm nearly two hours in. Addicted? Moi?! And no Hitchers!!!

Fortunately, JK's abroad right now so doesn't really care what I'm getting up to (or if she does, tough).

I should get to bed, though - my human alarm clock doesn't need setting, and goes off randomly between about 6.15 and 7, usually by climbing into my bed and jumping on me.

Whoever that was, that was mean of you....i threw every Hitchedism at you in the end and you still buggered off without telling me who you were. You were even quite entertaining.

I'm logging off - my FB pie is cooked, after all.

There's 2500 online and I've just had the same guy 3 times in 10 minutes.

First

S: Grant?

You: No, it's Phil. Grant's in Rio with Courtney

Second

S: Grant?

You: I've told you, I'm Phil Mitchell. Grant's in Rio

Third

S: Grant?

You: For the third f*cking time, I'm Phil Mitchell, you'll find Grant in Rio

S: Sorry I can't find him. Say Phil next time I pop up

Right am off to bed - I have had enough fun for one night and the later the time, the more weirdos come out to play - night!

? I thought he was miiiiiiiiine ?

I got him as well - i too responded with Phil!

ETA - I got Grant again shortly after posting:

Stranger: I doubt you're him.

He's a liar anyway. I asked him if he showed his *** to everyone and he said no. I said am I special then and he said no, not really☹️

I got the bloody John Barnes rap in, YEAH!!! Admittedly, it was cutted and pasted from an illiterate's site...:

You: The thing is, I have started to start a conversation using the John Barnes rap about 10 times tonight. But no-one is feeling it

You: It's after midnight here and I'm hitting the sack. Goodnight

I can't stop talking to random folk round the world its intriguing, i've even added the website to my faves!! i think I'm addicted.?

I thought I had a hitcher...

Well, I've just had a two-hour chat with someone 24 years my junior, which was strangely interesting - I said I was 97 at first, which is why she was presumably unfazed when I revealed my real age a bit later. But she claimed she was a single mum who'd had her first child at eleven, so the pathological lies were flying in both directions.

Well how fucking RUDE! I am livid on your behalf! ? It was good on there til the teenagers took over. One called me a 'dumbass' then disconnected last night.

Poor Flowery ??

[:'(] for Flowery!

This morning it seems to be full of American teenage boys talking about basketball and masturbation. Although I only found out what one was on about when I later Googled.

He told me he likes to fap, and I didn't know what that meant. He said it was like a game, the only game. Then I found out to fap is to knock one out. So my sexual education has been improved at least.

Yes, I had something similar - when I confessed my real age, I was told it was "sad" that I was online at all, as though cyberspace was the unique preserve of the under-21s.

I replied "You're not a parent, are you?" ?

It was quite fun undermining her stereotypes, though - she mocked the fact that I only had 95 friends on Facebook versus her 250-odd, but I said "yes, but what percentage of yours would you recognise in the street?"

Argh..someone gave me the bear Psycho got yesterday and said..do you like this bear? I said yes, it is cool and they then told me it is the Pedo bear, who goes after kiddies, a well known symbol on the net and if I liked it I was a perv. ?

I also had a brilliant 20 minute conversation with a very smart 19 year old guy from Australia. We talked about traveling and his future..[old git icon].

What is it with young' uns owning the internet?

I had a really long conversation with a bloke from New Zealand who was really nice didn't ask me asl at all which i hate!!

Waah!

I've just been told I'm good because not many people my age know how to use the internet. I'm 31!?

I still haven't found anyone who isn't barking mad.

I found a fellow hitcher on there!!! I had to aske her if she was a satin lover first tho

I was enjoying this one