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Beginner May 2008

Dream induced regrets

JengleBells1983, 6 December, 2009 at 08:02 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 1

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When I was younger (15 onwards) I did some really out of order shady things that caused alot of my friends/boyfriends pain. I still dont know to this day why I did the things I did and I regret every one of them and wish I could take them all back but obviously I cant. Since I got married and had my little girl last year all of these regrets have weighed very heavily on my heart and I often have dreams about them which involves me waking up quite upset.

I had another dream last night of me being at the engagement party of one of my ex boyfriends and at this party were alot of people who I went to school with who, in real life, would not even be in the same room as me. In the dream I tried to apologise to everyone, to no avail.

I am pretty convinced that alot of people have moved past the things I did directly or indirectly to them and probably never think about them or me. Maybe this is just my punishment as such for all the stupid things I did but I just cant seem to get past them. Will I ever?

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Latest activity by Zoay, 9 December, 2009 at 08:23

teeheeyoucrazyguys! · 6 December, 2009 at 21:55
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Yes I think you will. I know what you mean and how you feel. I've been there too and have had similar dreams. Wake up wondering what it was trying to tell me.......... I'm learning to let the good stuff take over, to smile at what I have now and what I will reap in my future ie children.......

if i allow the bad stuff to hang over me it eats away at me.......and destroys the good stuff in a way. I wont let it and you shouldnt either! I think perhaps, your dream of trying to apologise with no one listening, or interested in what you say means they HAVE moved on and forgotten about it......but I am only presuming that was the action of your dream....

Keep up the good fight and be strong, you have a NEW life. Thats what I keep telling myself xx
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Beginner September 2013
Zoay · 9 December, 2009 at 08:23
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I guess there are various ways you could deal with this. You could try counselling. You could try and trace people and really say sorry. I wonder if that might be healing for you whatever else you did/didn't do?

My personal preferred method, which I know many won't agree with, is as follows. It's 'religious'. Read it only if you want to.

You did things wrong; you regret them; you want to be different now. I believe that guilt is real and can't just be shrugged off. But it can be paid off - and its not even you who has to pay. If you accept that Jesus died in your place, to pay off that guilt, and agree that you'll run things his way from now on, then it all gets wiped out, gone, forgiven, forever. You get a dad in heaven who loves you. You get his spirit living inside you to guide you. And it's a relationship that doesn't end when you die.
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