Dresses...did you feel different to how you thought you would?!

Got to be honest - I hated trying on the dresses. I'm not very happy with how I look anyway, so standing in my pants having dresses 2 sizes too small squeezed over my head was my idea of hell!

However, I did fall in love with my dress instantly. It's nothing like what I went out for though - I was going for a plain style and ended up with gorgeous intricate beading! But no, I didn't feel like a princess in it. I don't think it's sunk in that THAT is the dress I am going to get married in...

Thanks for your honestly BB. I just feel deflated and slightly sad, my MOH is giddy, texying me asking how many times ive looked at the video....I havent actually and when i do i just dont feel the way i should!

Showed my mum and sis tonight and there reactions wernt OMG! WOW! either and i just think do i look crap in it?! is that why im feeling like this?!

x

At the moment I totally envy you finding "the dress" in the first shop !

Remind yourself why you liked it enough to place a deposit on it in the first place, and don't worry, from what I've read on here dress wobbles are fairly common.

L x

Personally, if I was in your situation I'd have made appointments to try on more on another occasion. Perhapsyou might feel differently on another occasion. I'm of the belief that I've never shopped for this type of dress before so have no idea which styles to try, therefore (as much as I dislike the idea of trying on dress after dress and parading in front of Mother, friends and FMIL!) I'm going to attempt to try on a wide range before I rush into a decision.

Youve got time yet before your big day, just because you didn't get a 'wow' feeling this time doesn't mean you won't ever!

Sorry, I know that advise probably isnt helpful when you've put down a deposit now, but thats just what I'd have done.

Thanks...Then i do this to myself....Maybe i panicked bought, maybe there is a nicer one out there that'll make me go OMG! YES! etc...

I bought it as it fitted my venue, it fitted me in all the right places (big boobs dont suit alot of dresses) and it hung and complimented all the right bits. It wasnt the style i wanted-that was the toilet roll holder bit! and it isnt as intricate as i'd wanted but as pointed out to me the more blingy i tried on the more cheap i started to look!

I totally trust my MOH and she cant stop talking about it, saying how classy and gorgeous i look! I just cant see it....

*off to diet and join a gym!* x

It actually sounds to me like you like it more than you think you do! (I know that doesn't really make sense!)

A bit of a personal question, but are you in a positive happy place about how your body looks at the moment? If you have a few little hang ups, as most of us do, perhaps they are what's making you doubt your dress... Not the dress itself!

My sister is my MOH and she cried when I found my dress. Similar to you, texting me to see how many times I've looked at the photos etc. The only times I look at the photos is when I'm trying to encourage myself not to eat rubbish - I look awful in all of them, the dress is a size too small and I've got my bingo wings out and my 'that woman's just seen me in my PANTS' expression.

Maybe do as suggested and go and try it on again When you're feeling a bit more relaxed you might feel happier, without all the pressure of having to find *the* dress. xx

Kady-thanks for your honesty in 1st post-maybe i have been too hasty! I normally cant make decisions for toffee!

i think you are right, i dont like myself in the dress! Overweight, flabby arms, sweaty ? and feeling alittle out of place. I wanst going to start trying dresses on until later in the year when id lost a bit, i only popped into the shop as they had a sample 12 in a sincerity dress i loved-looked awful on!

didn help i have to order in a 16 apparently boobs in first and then tailor the rest! I'm only a small size 12 normally! She said they make them very small ?

Maybe i'll post a picture but dont think people ever really reply with "hmmm not sure that looks right/great on you!!"

thanks for taking the time to reply girls xx

They do get ordered based on the size of your widest part, boobs in my case also so your not alone there.

I have only tried on a couple of dresses, and maybe it's because I have't found 'the one' yet, but I definitely haven't had any OMG moments yet.

Maybe it's because I'm really fussy, maybe it's because I haven't had my bridesmaids or mum with me yet (all of them live in different places and it's hard to arrange ), or maybe it's because I haven't found the right one.

Does anyone else suffer with seeing hundreds of dresses but just not really liking any of them?? If only I could afford couture!

Your not on your own. I was really excited about dress shopping in the beginning. I went to lots of shops and never got the "feeling". They were nice but had something missing. I eventually found one I liked that had everything I wanted. I went and viewed it and finally put a deposit down. I still look and wonder if its the right dress so its totally normal. I am just remebering why I finally committed to that one dress out of 50.

What dress did you get??

Me !!! must have tried on close to 60 now ! be picky after all you want to feel on top of the world on the day !

Perhaps, as others have mentioned, go back again when you're feeling a little less pressured and calmer and try it again. Maybe the fact that you've had to order two sizes bigger than you actually are has something to do with not feeling that 'wow', cause even though you know you're not actually a 16 there's nothing worse than a shop having smaller sizes and you having to buy the next size up! Does nothing for a girls self esteem... Even if you do know it to be down to smaller sizes!

Its totally up to you whether you think it worth a flash. I'm sure everyone would do you the courtesy of posting their honest opinion, afterall, we're all here to help each other ?

Thanks ladies! I really want to show OH but MOH has sworn me not to! I want his reassurance but also know it needs to be a surprise!

thanks all x

Hey you are my dress twin and I love the dress! Honestly I felt the same! I'm sure in nicer surroundings (on your wedding day) you will feel much more comfortable and also it would then fit you perfectly! X

You will feel comfortable in the dress on the day as it sounds flattering and 'fits in the right places'. that is a big tick i think! now you need to find a drop dead gorgeous pair of shoes that make you feel amazing... or really spend extra time finding the perfect hair & make up.

the big day is not all about the dress! dont worry! just promise yourself right now to stop panic buying...and take your time and enjoy the shoe shopping xxxxx

I think you should definitely go and try it on again but this time perhaps you should not take MOH with you because it sounds like she is way over-excited about everything and might be projecting a little bit of well intended but not very helpful influence on what you should wear??

Do you have any other friends you could take with you who would give you an honest/objective opinion? I totally hate my bingo wings too so I'm going to wear a little bolero jacket with three quarter length sleeves to hide my flappy bits! Perhaps adding something like this might make you feel a bit more confident?

Another option is to try on more dresses in the same shop just in case - if you find something else you like better you can probably transfer the deposit over.

I didn't feel wowed or amazed at any of the dresses I tried on either...and I like dresses in general! I picked my dress because I wanted something traditional but with a twist and not anything boring but now you have me wondering if I will in fact look like a toilet roll holder ? I feel a bit robbed of the dress hunting experience as I had one day and 3 shops to find something due to coming from abroad (wedding dresses here are beyond expensive not to mention hideous) and only having 5 months until the wedding. So I tried on as many different styles as I could and the one I bought was the one I didn't want to take off, I just really didn't like any of the others on me. But I have had my fair share of wobbles, I'm still wobbling now and I won't try my dress on again until 3 days before the wedding so not much I can do really, just hope that I still like it and that no-one thinks I look like a gypsy bride ?

Hi, I can completely sympathise. I hated dress shopping, I got really fed up traipsing around trying on loads of stuff that I really didn't like. I never did find "the one". In the end, I found something that I liked but did not love and that my mum and sister also liked on me. I was worried about he style, the colour (deep red), pretty much everything.

Even up until the week before the wedding when I had my final fitting I was really unsure. I didn't say anything to my mum who was with me but afterwards, I phoned my sister and said "I don't know what to do, I really don't like it, I guess I'll just have to wear it anyway..."

On the day, I was so caught up in other things leading up to me getting ready that I just put it on and didn't really think about it. BUT, when I saw myself in the mirror with my hair and makeup done and my heels on, I was pretty chuffed! I got loads of compliments on the dress choice, esp the colour as I realise now it suited my skin colour very well.

I then wore it again 2 nights ago for our post-wedding celebration party (for friends, as we had a small family wedding) and this time had my hair done slightly differently and wore the dress without the shawl/veil bit (for the initial Indian wedding) and I was REALLY happy with it - and again got loads of compliments.

So just wanted to reassure you that even if you feel like this now, it will come together in the end. Good luck! x

I felt EXACTLY the same as badger beetle. I'm a size 20 and dress shopping was my idea of hell. I was squeezed into various size 14 dresses, told that some dresses wouldn't even fit me and I hated it. I particularly hated shopping in the first two shops i went to. The first shop tried me in all the same style dresses, told me i wouldn't suit X styles and then sent me on my way. The second shop tried me in increasingly inappropriate dresses (one of which i can only say made me look like a big fat Little Bo Peep who ATE her sheep) and left me feeling fat and ugly. The third shop i went into was completely different. I'd already bought a ball gown from the lady previously and i knew her and she was lovely. She pulled out three different types of dresses for me and to my utter surprise i fell head over heels for two of them. I chose one and then promptly had serious dress wobbles for 8 months. Now its getting closer to the time, more stuff like my accessories etc are coming together and i look at my dress and love it again.

I am however dreading that first try on when it comes into the shop. I don't want to be disappointed by how it looks in my size. I don't feel particularly bridey/ princessy when i look at it.

I had this exact feeling I tought the 1st time I tried a dress on I'd be in tears everyone in the shop would cry and we'd be sipping champagne like in the film but it wasnt like this at all in reality it was me try in to squeeze into a size 12 as cant find anything which will fit my huge boobs in, crying because I look fat in everything and looking like mrs hulk! I've tried on 100s of dresses and been into lots and lots of different shops and not yet found anything which makes me think it is the "one" I am still in search of the one!!!

PLEASE pay absolutely no attention to the dress size, it really is just a number, if you look on the charts usually each inch your measurements go up the dress size goes up. High street I'm a 10, infact some of my 10 jeans are rather snug, but my dress is a bloody 4. When I was bridesmaid for my sister I measures as a 0 but refused to order that size as I didn't believe it could be right so ordered a 2 that then had to be taken in! I am most definitely not a high street 4 or 0! You are probably reading this and thinking b**ch! but I just wanted to show that they really are just numbers that bare no resemblance to the real world of clothes.

I'd recommend showing us a flash and we promise to be honest! You'd be amazed at what dressmakers can do to alter dresses to make them totaly different and tweak it to what you like.

Exactly this! I expected mine coming up bigger but she ordered a size 10. I have never been a 10. I am a definate 12 so I am worried it will be too small. I have to hope shes measured right.

I feel exactly the same, I bought my wedding dress from eBay for financial reasons really, i wanted a short dress and the dress i've bought is exactly the style i wanted. But, i've tried it all on and it looks ok but that's all. Last weekend my mum came round and i tried it on with my shoes, veil and underwear and i just thought 'oh ok' rather than 'wow' my mum cried though so maybe it looks ok. The dress fits perfectly and i'm a happy size 8 so it's not body confidence - i just don't know what it is. Maybe it would have been different if i'd gone to a shop and tried it on their rather than a creased version out of my post box.

Laura, if your still struggling to find the one then please drop me a line, as I can guarantee that you definitely wont be squeezed into any of my gowns as they will accentuate every curve!

Im a bit of a drive from you (near Peterborough) but theres champagne on offer, discounts on certain gowns and £50 of free accessories of your choice when you buy your gown. I can send you an invitation to our opening on 2nd June if you would like

Good luck with your search.

Mm, I did find my first experience a bit weird. I wasn't expecting to try on dresses - just having a look in a few places to see what it was like. But one place suggested I try some on then. I was on my own, which was kind of OK because I think I would have struggled if everyone was telling me what they did or didn't like! It felt rather surreal - like dressing up. And I think maybe I subconsciously expected to find a completely stunning dress which would magically transform me and make me look completely stunning too... ! which of course is probably not going to happen.

I think all the adverts in mags etc don't help - because the dresses are probably not going to look as totally amazing on me as they do on the models... So you're comparing against something unrealistic.

It was also a bit overwhelming and emotional - this doesn't feel real - and yet this sort of makes it real - and wishing my Mum was still with us, to share the experience. So I felt totally drained by the end! So I agree it wasn't the magical 'princessy' 'special' experience that I didn't even consciously realise I was half-expecting... !

I'm hoping to go again with a couple of friends and I think that might be a bit more 'fun'. Doesn't help that I'm feeling the pressure of time to find something quickly!

Oh tybalt, this is exactly how I feel now, but I think it is just my own body hangups because my boobs have disappeared to the point where no amount of padding even seem to give me the illusion.

My dress is still beautiful, just not sure it suits me, as it definitely needs something up there (it's a shallow V neck)

But I do expect that I will be absorbed with the rest of the day, so hopefully won't notice/remember...

Had my final fitting last week, after taking in so I won't wear it now 'til the day. Eeek!

You are definitely not alone. I hated dress shopping too. I'm not a girly girl anyway, I never wear dresses and I just felt awkward about the whole situation. I went to one shop where they were rude, and left me to put the dresses on on my own so I ended up with scratches all over my back. Those things are not easy to get in and out of alone!

In the end, I found a dress that I didn't want to take off, so I ordered that one.

I definitely think you should go and try the dress on again, without you MOH as it does seem she is clouding your judgement a little.

I absolutely adore my dress, but I don't feel like I'm as pretty as it is - if that makes sense?! I'm really nervous about walking into the church and having people look at me and think 'what on earth is THAT?'.

Tempted to post some pics... If I can work out how to crop my head off of them first! x

I'm just worried it'll look silly even when it fits me :-/

To be honest it may just be that you need more time and trying more on, or it could be that you honestly dont really mind what the dress is like.

If its any help at all, the first place I went to, I didn't enjoy it. I don't think I was really ready for it, and just felt like they were all wedding dresses, nothing special. But the more shops I went to and foun d shapes and styles that suited me, the better I felt. Till my final shop where I fell in love with a dress (only once it was on mind, I had actually told the assistant I WOULD NOT try it on, but she persuaded me). So maybe keep trying, but if you really don't have the heart to do it all again and can be happy enough with yours, then go with it.

BadgerBeetle I think your dress looks lovely, it's a gorgeous shape and the detailing is lovely too x

Edited to add I don't think it looks silly now so it certainly won't once it's perfectly fitted