My partner and I always knew that we would get married on the anniversary of our the day we starting dating, we thought it would be sweet and also easier to remember!! A few people in my family have done the same thing and so we just thought it felt right. This means we are getting married on a Monday. My family has had no objection to the day and have all managed to get the day off but OH's side have been right pains in the behind.. I know you've heard all this before but last night my OH called up his uncle to check whether he was coming and he ended up shouting at him, saying it was ridiculous that we were getting married on a Monday, no one gets married on a Monday, and demanded to know why it couldn't be moved to a Saturday. We began by explaining that the venue would cost over £100 more to have on a Saturday (that is a lot of money to us) and then moved on to say that it was our anniversary and that we wanted to have it on that day. He called us pathetic and said that we were purposely putting unreasonable obstructions in the family's way in order to single them all out and look bad. He then went on to say that OH's dad was extremely upset that he couldn't come, he has a funny way of showing his "upset" since all he has done is make things difficult. Since when is a wedding all about making things convenient for EVERY guest. OH and I had a real heart to heart after the phone call, we realized that all this time we have been flitting around, worrying because things don't suit other people but have never taken time to focus on what we are doing for ourselves. We feel down-trodden and bullied, everyone on his side is angry with me when I haven't even done anything wrong. His dad has told all of his brothers that it is ME who is being difficult and not budging simply because when his dad proposes something to be changed my OH says he will talk it through with me. We have always made mutual agreements concerning the wedding and the reason he wants to talk things through with me before giving an answer to his dad is because he wants to make sure we are in agreement, but his dad sees it as I'm just saying no to everything and forcing OH to agree.
I never thought that planning a wedding would cause so much selfishness, it has certainly shown me FIL2Bs true colours. I would never dream of being awkward during the planning of someone's wedding. I don't think OH's father sees what he is doing to us, how much it is hurting us and how low we are feeling, how many times we have come close to calling it off, eloping or even breaking up to appease his family. We have tried talking to him but he takes a strop and ends up throwing the phone to OHs mum to talk to us. It feels like on the wedding day all of OHs guests, if any even come, will be looking at me with disdain because they think I've been in charge of the whole thing. I don't think OH's parents realize how bad it will look if the only people who could be bothered to turn up for the wedding was the aunts and uncles. It will look really bad on them and they should be feeling ashamed right now. I also don't think he realizes that we are questioning his involvement in any children we have in the future, how on earth would he react if I fell pregnant? He exudes such negativity that I simply would not feel happy with him being involved with them. Their house is filthy and piled floor to ceiling with clutter and rubbish, it is so bad that you can't even see the sitting room window because a pile of newspapers is stacked from floor to ceiling. They have pet birds who they let fly around the sitting room, letting the cats try to catch them and letting the birds poo everywhere. They never clean up the faeces and I heard somewhere that bird faeces is poisonous. I know I am getting ahead of myself but I really can't see myself letting any children that I have in the future spend time at their house. Even I have refused point-blank to visit their house as it is in such a state.
I know we need to stop worrying about other people and just accept that the people who come to the wedding are the people who truly care for us but it's not that easy. I'm also worrying about my dress, I am shopping for it tomorrow and again it's other people's opinions I'm worried about. I have never worn a dress by choice, I'm not a tomboy, I've just never been a fan of dresses. The last time i wore one was as a bridesmaid when I was about 10. I want a plain, elegant evening style dress, no train, no veil, no fuss. Just simple. Now for my family to see me in the plainest of dresses would draw gasps and everyone would think I looked amazing but I'm scared that OHs family are sitting there thinking "What is she wearing, it looks like something people wear everyday." OH has told me that I shouldn't care what they think but annoyingly I do and I always will care about other people's opinions of me.
*Sigh!!!* It feels slightly better having written my feelings down! I was in need of a good old vent, it seems that's all I do nowadays 
