End-of-year despondency

I've just had a lovely year off work (well, paid work, I have been working my arse off in other ways ?) and I'm back on January 5th. Whilst a chunk of my brain is looking forward to some adult conversation, another part of me fears I will not get that at work and that I'll just be back into the dreadful politics and painfully slow hoop-jumping.

? at 'last working day of the year'

i can't be arsed with xmas. i can't be arsed shopping for food and for once i can't be arsed to cook it. mr c's presents are dead boring. i am having the worst period of my life and i think i'm going to bleed to death or something. and i can't even get drunk as i'm working at 7am. and tomorrow night i'm going to my uncle in laws and will have to sleep on his lumpy camp bed in his cold house.

i win ?

I feel like this.

I haven't worked since the beginning of January last year, but it's only since MasterA described me as a "housewife" on an "all about me" project that it's bothered me.

I don't feel like the runts are developing as they should, so am not even excelling at being a SAHM. If I believe everything I hear, everyone else's 18month old is discussing the credit crunch and the OPEC proposals to decrease oil production, whilst mine are quite good at "tree, hiya" when they see a Christmas tree.

Also, I still haven't learned to drive, as I promised I would last year and I'm worried about MrA's earning prospects if more businesses go under.

Oh, and I'm fretting that I haven't got enough presents for Mr or MasterA as well. And I've just been covered in sick again where Master threw up his dinner all over the hall carpet.

Re your voucher - I have a terrible feeling that you're screwed as I think vouchers are pretty much treated as cash, so losing it is tough - unless they use some discretion and refund on proof of purchase by LOYL. Sorry.

I thought you'd had a good work year - promoted etc.

Oh yes.

My vertigo has resurfaced this evening with a bang, it just took me 5 minutes to walk up and down the stairs, I have 10 people for Christmas dinner and I still feel like crap, it will take me 36 hours to cook Christmas dinner if I have to keep moving at a snail's pace in order not to vom.

I have a potentially lovely weekend to look forward to but if I still feel like this it's going to be rubbish.

However, I've just seen the 1st trailer for Sleb BB, so yaaaaaaaay!

I also feel down.

I'm unemployed for the first time and although I expected to take a pay cut I'm suprised at how low salaries are for the sort of job I'm looking for.

H's business is affected by the economy so we are going to struggle even if I do find a job (which is proving more difficult than I thought).

I still don't have a baby, that sums up how crap I feel about 2008.

I was looking forward to 2008 to end with a fresh new start in almost all aspects of my life in 2009, but all bar the new job, nothing else is going to be ready to enjoy 09, at least probably till easter at the earliest, so there's no excitment or looking forward to the year to end.

I'm sure LOYL will love it all Sophie, <twee> I'm sure being with you is like having the moon on a stick </twee>

Umm.

I haven't bought any presents yet. Nor have I received any. I've got one card. Which is one more than I've sent or am likely to admittedly.

I've done naff all of any real import all year, have no particular plans to doing anything of much import next year either.

My Christmas decorations consist of a 12" plastic christmas tree and some tinsel on my chilli plants.

I'm completely out of whiskey and going to the offy will require putting on my boots which is a little too far up the effort scale for me this evening. Fortunately there's spare wine.

This time last year I was rather more despondant, this weather i just couldn't give a monkey's. In a year and a day I'll be forty. I don't suppose it's going to be any better next year then.

But Gord's happy enough.

I was feeling like this last week but have started to pick up now that my H is due home in two days, I haven't seen him for 8 weeks so I've had a pretty depressing couple of months.

I know next year is going to be a tough one with work, I have a lot to live up to and TBH I don't know if I have the energy to devote to work that I have done for the last year. To get to where I want to be I need to, but if I don't find some work likfe balance I think it's really going to start getting me down.

Compared to what some people on here are going through though, I appreciate that I am lucky and it could be far worse.

? to all those who need them

Oh sophie, *twee* I totally agree with numbnuts. Sometimes the best gift you receive is the message inside your card. Or you could always go down the road of the champagne blowjob! ? Sorry. Seiously though, I think it's natural to feel a bit deflated at this time of year as we think back over our previous hopes, and we succumb subconsciously to the meeja propoganda regarding the perfect family christmas and clinking flites of fizz at the bells to toast a sparklig new year full of fabulous promise. Well, balls to that I say. What is a year? Why does it seem so much more significant than a month or a week or a quarter? Disappointments and sad times happen sporadically and it can be an accident of chance as to when they fall which makes a good run of things into a bad run. IIWY I'd be trying to focus on the great things- your relationship with your lovely loml has really deepened into something so wonderful this year, you are doing so so well in your career, you're making progress with divorce to f uckface (remember it wasn't long ago the lawyers letters were being COMPLETELY ignored) plus, to top it all off, you finally got to meet me! ? Have a wonderful break darling Sophie- *soppy* the time you'll spend together will be worth any amount of material stuff. (Getting RSI on blackberry so will have a fag and pop back shortly). In the meantime, ? to everyone. X

Oh - all you lovely people feeling poopy

i am not too bright myself - for reasons i have discussed on here and some i havent

but hey ho - i refuse to be defeated - i am determined to make next year a better one

my business is somewhat up the shitter - but i am all about the bright sides - will spend more time with the bratlings, do more photography, do more exercise, cook more, have a nicer looking house - all good stuff even if i am a bit poor

i am scared about what the year will bring in relation to my son - but am resigned to the fact there are problems - and even if the exploration of them will be frightening i hope it will be better in the long run - so that is a step forward

sophie - you do sound like a completely stellar girlfriend - and even though things may not be what you would perfectly wish for you have got through a lot of the crud this year i hope - i do wish for you a much better 2009 and lots of good news for your mum

i am sure that we who are having a bit of a moopy run up to the new year will have at least learnt a lot, got stronger and i hope we will all bite 2009 on the arse xx

I have had a *** 2008, I have been fighting tooth and nail to sort out my mental health issues and have gotten precisely no where. The only really good thing that has happened to me in the last 2 days has been a BFN (if it had been the opposite the world may well have fallen out of my bum in pure terror).

I was thinking about it and I have absolutely nothing to look forward in 2009 that is just for me. I seem to live in a permanent ground hog day and I hate it. I have no real way of changing it either ☹️.

This week my second surgery attempt has failed again. I therefore have a hospital filled year ahead of me.

This is the fourth Christmas I have been unwell with this, the only positive is this year they found one cause, but they still have no idea what to do with me.

I hate the way I look, I have put a stone on, I am disgustingly ugly compared to everyone around me ( I am not saying this for people to tell me I am not- honest)

I feel I am a rubbish mum as I feel unwell and Ned often has a mum who can only stay indoors and play with him and on really bad days I can't lift him with out a little cry escaping from me because it hurts.

I had to stop my OU degree fours years ago, and until I am well I can't start again, so the dream of being a teacher seems impossible.

I love Christmas, but I hate New year.

So many hugs to you all, I wish I could make you all feel better, you have all done so much to make this a great year for me.

Sorry for my moans, I am very me me me tonight x

2008 has been poop, but the usual poop rather than special poop

However, in January 2009 I shall be 40. That adds a whole new level on top my usual despondent end of year depression.

Don't want to write it down - can't wait or next year - it has to be better than this one.

sophie - your loml is a lucky man to have you - any present you chose to give him is a little bonus.

2008 should have been a fab year - I managed to finish planning the sodding wedding and actually get married!?

But then the in laws fell out with me and were horribly vile, I changed jobs and my old boss still hasn't paid me, had a BFP then an early miscarriage in the same week, new job is OK but I have heard some sideways comments about how inconvenient it would be to get pregnant again before my probationary period finishes and no one (apart from bratski) is looking forward to Christmas as it all seems like too much hard work. I got shouted at off my sons headmistress as well because Mr K dared to get stuck in traffic and be a little late in picking him up and I am really mad that she spoke to me like I was a child. Its the first time we have ever done it and Mr K rang her to warn her and grovel an apology beforehand. MIL is also laying on the emotional blackmail thick and fast.

However we are moving house on the 3/4 Jan 2009 so new year, new start and all that. I just need to get through next week then I have 10 days off.

I feel a bit downhearted, which is silly because I've had a good year overall. I think I'm just a bit tired (have had to get up at 5am every day this week ?) and I had a horrid row with my Mum a couple of days ago which upset me. Ho hum. I am also very sad about not spending Christmas with my brother, who is in the UK for the first time in two years. I haven't spent Christmas day with him since 2002 ?

My year has been rubbish to say the least. FIL had a stroke on NYE, my Dad was diagnosed with Cancer in Jan and my H had a heart op in June. Oh, and I lost my job in a restructure.

However, FIL has recovered (he is still poorly but does suffer with ill health), my Dad is currently Cancer free, my H's op 'fixed' him and I do still have a job (even though I don't like it).

I am not feeling despondent. I just want to get on with 2009 as I feel like in 2008 I had no control over anything. No control over the illnesses or what happened at work. The illnesses have now been sorted so in 2009 I need to get myself a job that I like. I hate people who moan about their job and don't do anything about and I have become one of those people. No more! In 2009 I am taking back control. Raaaah!

? big hugs to all the people who need them.

I'm feeling the same way, which is exacerbated by a Krug-and-mojito hangoever (don't ask! ?) that I just had to drag to a very excited five-year-olds birthday party, so I am feeling extremely jaded!

I had three goals for 2008 and I have achieved only one of them. Bah. I just can't face re-setting the same bloody goals for 2009. And I am HATING my job right now (financial services). At least I have a job, which is not to be sniffed at, but it has recently been making me cry, which is obviously not good.

Ah well. My motto was "It's going to be great in 2008", which in a lot of ways it was. I think I'll go for a more modest "It's going to be fine in 2009" though ?

A lot of people seem to getting depressed about turning 40 this coming year. I've got that same milestone to look forward to and I'm doing just that - looking forward to it. I don't feel it, I don't look it, I don't act it - and I'm being whisked off to a fabulous hotel for a weekend of luxury pampering. I can't wait to tell people I'm 40! I think there are worse things to worry about as this thread as shown.

? for all those currently going through a cr@p time.

I turn 40 in 14 days time and, while I wish that mum would be there to share it with me, I am looking forward to it - I've convinced my H that we will have a party and start 2009 with a good thing as opposed to 2008.

Thinking of all of you who are having a rough ride at the moment x

Hey Soph. Doubt you can see me waving from where I am now.

First re treatment of LOYL, we both know he totally adores you. Don't tell him this whatever you do but frankly he looks a bit like a love sick puppy when he talks about you.

On the work front have you considered getting a mentor if you need some help getting it together? I was v reluctant but then I arranged one and it has been fab. For instance I was going to turn down my recently competed work thing until he pointed out (nicely) how stupid that would have been and he was right. Just someone else's perspective helps. I own lots of books on time management, how to get ahead, self promotion, that sort of stuff if you fancy borrowing any.

On the vouchers front I'm afraid you're probably on a sticky wicket. Would suggest writing tear stained letters to the chief exec about how it was a present, LOYL's so gutted, you're so gutted, you love the brand so much, is there any way he could help blah blah blah.

And finally may I remind you that even if 2008 has been pants, the final few hours are chez moi and thus will obviously be tres fabulous. Won't be online much prior to then. Take care.

I have the cold again, my Dad and I keep batting it back to each other. I wanted to go to bed today when the brat was at his Gran's but had to wrap presents and I was sitting there going "I fooking hate Christmas" Yes, very humbug of me but I am good to the people I love all year, I like to surprise people at random times with nice things, I don't like being forced to buy a thing on a certain day and act all happy when right now I'm miserable. Hum-fucking-bug.