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Beginner September 2021 Derbyshire

" ex" MOH !

Meg27, 2 March, 2017 at 16:50 Posted on Planning 0 1

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Hey all!

I did post about my moh/best friend issues and here is the update !

My MOH has dropped out of the wedding party ( mutual agreement) things haven't been right for a while. Her partner was also an usher and in her words" we are a unit, if i am not the mob then .... isnt an usher " this we are fine with . A lot has happened to it probably is of the best .Im not sure wether to still have them at the day though. We cut our guest list down to just immediate family ( drawing the line at first cousins) and just the wedding party . It kind of feels wrong to our the family who only have evening invites to keep them as day guests however, i want to avoid anymore drama! things are just about amicable at the moment . Also, maybe selfishly , but i feel quite reluctant to pay for them in the day when they have dropped out the wedding party . It has cost us £250.00 for them to drop out due to loosing deposits eat on suppliers such as the suits,dress, flowers ect . I know this sounds rather petty but i feel very hurt by it all as it is . What would you do ?

Tia x

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Latest activity by DreamcatcherVN, 2 March, 2017 at 20:15

Paula @ Ollievision · 2 March, 2017 at 19:28
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Ooh that's a difficult one. I think you need to discuss further before making a decision. Do you think you will remain friends with them in the longer term? My feeling is that they are not very good friends and prospects are poor. Making the bloke pull out of being an usher because "they are a unit" is a step too far.

I wonder if you trying to appease them now will just lead to more problems? But if you downgrade them to evening guests you're writing them off and there's no way the friendship will survive. They will fall out with you and not attend at all.
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Beginner May 2017
DreamcatcherVN · 2 March, 2017 at 20:15
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How badly do you want to keep them as friends? I'd imagine inviting them to evening only would send a message (not necessarily intentionally) that you are dropping them as friends. If you won't miss their friendship then it may not be the worst thing.

If you think the friendship will survive in the long term after everything that's happened so far then I would invite them all day (you were after all, close enough friends to have her as MOH so I don't think you should worry about inviting them over non-immediate family). However I wouldn't do this unless you feel you can completely draw a line under what's happened and move on, or else you may end up feeling bitter towards them on the day and for years to come.

Tough one though :-(
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