Facebook photos...what are your thoughts?

I had this concern before our wedding abroad, because 6 weeks later we were having a party at home where we were wearing our wedding outfits again and I didn't really want photos on Facebook until after the home party.

I wanted to ask the minister to announce it in the church, but H thought that was extreme. I posted on here asking for opinions and most people said they thought it was a little OTT, although they'd respect my views. In the end, we just mentioned it to the younger people (we only had 60 guests anyway and most of them were old!), but someone still did it.

It was a bit different in my situation, because after the home party, I didn't care who saw the photos. Before we went away, I set my profile so that I couldn't be tagged in any photos unless I approved them. I'd asked H to do the same but he forgot!

I'm not sure how you'd enforce it, if you decided to ask people not to upload photos to facebook.

But perhaps you can look at it this way: people post photos to facebook when they are doing something enjoyable - take it as a compliment paid to your wedding.

And the official photographs will be so much better than anything taken on a phone that the latter will in no way detract from the former - even if they are not quite as immediate.

Guy

We were going to make a request that our guests didn't post photos on Facebook (never decided on how/when) but we forgot. Not one of my guests did so anyway. I would never post a photo of someone's wedding on FB, without their explicit permission and I think our guests had the same respect for us. To be fair though, nearly all of our guests were + 35 years old, and the couple of much younger ones had recently been told off for their lack of privacy re: posting family matters on FB, so suspect they were scared!

Am I the only married person in the world who doesn't have a single photo of her wedding on FB?

I personally don't see too much of a problem requesting that guests don't post photos, although I might be a little annoyed at the assumption I would. But then, I'd appreciate that such messages aren't necessarily directed at me.

I am not on Facebook, I would imagine a lot of our guests are, if they post a picture I wouldn't know about it unless they tell me.

I guess the idea of a stranger looking at our wedding seems odd but it is only like posting things on here so I don't think their is much point thinking about it too much.

Pics on facebook do not bother although the thought of someone snapping pics on their phone and having them up on facebook before the ceremony has even finished I think is pretty sad, I would like to think my friends are not that bad.

I'm thinking of buying a wifi and gps blocker to stop people from being able to use their phones at ours.

Seriously.

Whilst I don't really mind my mug being on facebook I want to remember the nice bits rather than my wonky face.

Plus, photos on facebook are cheap, penny commodity now. Looked at for a day and forgotten the next. I don't want that to be a reflection on our day.

I dont mind afterwards, but quite a few of my friends have uploaded photos during the day so I have seen the bride's dress before attending as an eve guest - I really dont want this to happen but I dont want to seem bridezilla-ish and explicitly ask for it not to happen. Will def tell the SIL to be though as her whole life is played out on FB!

I don't see the harm in putting a polite note about it in the invites then everyone knows where they stand.

Part of the joy & atmospere comes directly from guests getting involved and taking pictures. Personally i wouldn't want to do anything that would discourage that despite 99% of the pictures being less than flattering. Of course it's less than ideal to have them plastered on facebook, but It has happened at nearly all the weddings I've been to, so I guess it's a sign of the times, at least until a form of facebook etiquette becomes well established.

I hate the idea of being faced by cameras/phones everywhere I turn on my wedding day, which I've seen at others. We will request that no photos are taken in the church at all, then after that it'll be a free for all and we'll have to live with that! I just hate the idea of the ceremony being taken up with everyone taking photos. My OH's sister had a photo of her posted on facebook before she'd even left the church, it just seems wrong to me.

We've put the request for no photos on our website, orders of service, possibly a sign outside and the vicar will remind everyone before we begin. I fully believe there are some people that won't listen though!

If it's important to you that the photos don't go on facebook, I would say so. I wouldn't be at all offended if a couple asked that at their wedding, it's your choice and I can't really see why most sensible people would find it hard to respect that.

Hmm...I seem to be the only one so far with a different view. I honestly don't mind either way. I don't care if evening guests see my dress first, or anything like that. I suppose it is just the way it is these days! Not that I would post pictures of a wedding during the day, but I have certainly done a few weeks after the event as others also have, so I would find it a bit odd to have it announced not to do so.

We'll be asking guests not to upload photos to Facebook/Twitter/Instagram etc and we'll actually be requesting before the big day that people don't take photos at all really as we've decided on an "un-plugged" wedding. We're paying a professional to cover the day who we trust will capture everything we want and everything that is important to us, so we'd prefer for guests to relax and enjoy themselves. Everyone at the wedding who means something to us will get the opportunity to see the official photos and obtain copies, so we're not actively trying to exclude people from having any photos.

Maybe it is bridezilla, but we really don't want random photos up of our day for friends, friends of friends and their friends to see. It's not really about privacy it's because we don't want our day documented through a series of naff, unnecessary phone photos. We want our guests to actually enjoy themselves rather than being glued to their phone/camera taking pictures which will no doubt be uploaded and forgotten about in a week or two. We don't want a beautiful photo of us during our first dance "ruined" by 20 guests in the background with a camera covering their face- id rather see their smiles (or their bored expression, as the case may be!)

I suppose it's personal preference.

We shot a wedding last year where a guest uploaded photos of the bride during the actual ceremony (and proceeded to do so throughout the day). A couple of evening guests saw the photos made a passing comment abut the ceremony looking beautiful. The bride was mortified that her guests has seen her, the venue, decor several hours before arriving.

I had this fear too as some friends and family seem to live their lives through facebook. We didn't say anything about it in the end and our fears were proven to be unfounded. My aunt put about three photos up, all nice ones and my H's friend put a couple up but this was all a couple of days afterwards and the ones they chose were alright so I didn't really mind in the end.

I know I'm a tog but I've never seen a flattering wedding photo taken by a guest on fb. Ever.

I was quite please with this one in particular actually...for an amature ?

The first phone photos appeared of me the day after. Didn't bother me at all and I made one my profile picture before we went on honeymoon.

Each to their own though! In my circle of friends it would probably be considered to be quite a bridezilla to make such a request but I think it entirely depends on your audience!

So a mixture of views on this!

I wasn't too worried until a friend of mine went to a wedding and I can safely say she put up hundreds of photos on fb! I think part of the fun is having people over after and showing them the album etc (althoguh they would have been there on the day I guess)

Not sure how I feel about so many random people seeing my photos - trust me I have trailed through friends of friends of friends because I am nosy and want to steal ideas haha!

Maybe I will just drop it into conversation when I meet up with friends so I don't come across Bridezilla but they know my feelings on the situation. 100% do not want ceremony photos up on fb, that's personal and intimate.

My little sister (god love her) lives her life by FB so I will make sure she knows how I feel x

I dont mind pictures going up in the days afterwards but I dont want ceremony pics uploaded the same day as like others have said evening guests could see them before they arrive. Plus I also think its a bit innapropriate to be glued to your phone in church. Pretty sure my vicar has said the only photos that can be taken in church are the ones by the professional TOG which is fine with me. I also have nightmares of the BMs uploading pics of us getting ready and my OH seeing them during the morning. Thats probably me being over paranoid though haha ?

I don't really use my FB but I have it set so that photos I have been tagged in have to be approved by myself before they appear on my wall.

I don't think it would bother me if someone put pictures on there but I would like to see them first. I would think my friends very sad if the first thing they did after the ceremony was to take a pic and out it on FB. I would tell them they were a loser, be social and have a drink!

To be honest this hadn't even crossed my mind. Tbh I don't mind at all - if people are snapping away and posting up then they will do it anyway and when it doesn't bother me I can't be dealing with the stress of worrying about it. We even thought of having an instagram live feed but decided pics may get a little risqué as the drink started flowing - not sure some of the older guests would appreciate seeing some on the big screen!

I would think it as a compliment if someone posted pics up - besides everyone that matters to see your dress first etc would be there already !!!

I know some of the older generation hate the idea of pics up of them , my grandad is in a music club and when I brought up a few pics of him on fb he nearly died lol!!

So overall I'm not fussed and quite like the idea of seeing my wedding from a guests point of view .... I think people may see it as a bit controlling if I start saying if they can/ can't use their phone and when they can post up - however if it's something you don't want to happen then say- it's your day after all!

Xxxx

Funny enough I was just about to start a thread about this so I will be watching this post. I too don't like the idea as H2B nor I are blessed with looks.

Shall be watching for updates and advice!

MrsStobe13 xx

I'm a Facebook fiend and so are lots of my friends but I'd still rather be the one to "unveil" the initial pics and wouldn't like it if there were loads of random ones posted before I got chance to see them. And especially if they were posted during the day so the evening guests saw my dress before they came, as someone else said!

It's a very difficult one to police but I think we'll add something to our wedding website.

We recieved an invite recently that stated on the information cards for guests to refrain from uploading pictures on any social networking site, I thought that was fair enough.

I was actually a bit annoyed that so many of my friends posted pictures of our wedding on facebook, I wanted to create a little album myself but I didn't bother in the end. One friend posted 200 photos! Of course it's a compliment in one respect but at the same time I didn't want so many on there.

Really?

I have seen so many beautiful pics taken with a standard camera phone and been blown away by them.

I might need to add I meant photos of me and H2B - at the ceremony, during speach's, first dance etc! I 100% agree that it's fine for people to post pics of themselves or with friends at the wedding.

x

I must admit, I'd be gutted if I was asked not to take any photos at a wedding.

As Ravioli and Scully say - it's nice to get some snaps of your immediate group all dressed up? I love my friends' photos of them all just having a laugh!

I too would be quite sad if asked not to take any photos as a guest. I've got some brilliant photos from my brother's and cousin's weddings of different members of the family, especially the children, just relaxed and having fun. They may not be superb quality but I think family and friends snapshots are more about capturing the feeling of the day and there's no way even a team of good togs can capture every moment. For all the family and close friends weddings I've been to I've always put together a little album for the bride and groom usually including a few of the really silly moments and any particularly nice shots.

On our day I would prefer that people didn't upload photos of us before the evening guests arrive but having said that as an evening guest at a work colleague's wedding it was actually really nice to see ceremony photos uploaded during the day - it made us feel more part of it. Otherwise I'm quite looking forward to the deluge of photos!

I suppose I don't mind the risk of unflattering photos as I tend to take a pretty awful photo; I'm always making some sort of exaggerated face and/or gesture. I've come to accept that's it's because my face is never still, I'm either talking or my expression is reacting to what someone else is saying and the more fun I'm having the worse it is!

I didn't even give this a moments thought before our wedding. I came back from honeymoon to lots of pictures on facebook and I didn't mind a bit. Despite the fact that there isn't a single photo of me (professional or not) that I'm happy with I don't mind who sees them. But then again, I never saw my wedding as "my day," I'd have felt bad telling friends and family they weren't allowed to share it with anyone else.

On the other hand though, if I was asked not to as a guest I wouldn't mind that either. I just wouldn't understand the logic.

I loved the photos people took at our wedding. I was also flattered that they took some, and put one or two up as my fb profile the day after on way to the airport.

As others have suggested, I reckon the simplest way to deal with it is have your FB settings so nobody can tag you in photos without your permission.

I wouldn't bother with putting it in the invite - as nobody will re-read the invite in that detail on the day of the wedding. So maybe a note in your order of service (still people may not read) or the more effective announcement from somebody.

Pretty much yeah. I've been fortunate and privileged to be friended up by quite a few bride and grooms and whilst admittedly there are some ok ones in there, the majority do not show the wedding in a good light.

The trouble is friends don't always act like it. People tend not to dump the entire contents of their camera on fb but they do put images up that may spark a reaction, be that one of loveliness or potentially one of 'see how drunk they are right now' ones. So you gotta be careful, at best no fb posts until the day after because it takes anything special from the day. Are the guests with you, or are they REALLY with you. Why ARE they on facebook on your wedding day etc.

Aside from fb, guests with cameras (so that's everyone) have to be pulled in somehow. I was at a wedding last week, the bride and groom left the church and the guests were setting up shots of the bridesmaids in front of a parked van, lovely. (These fall under the formal umbrella that I will have to shoot anyway).

And it was 4 degrees out there, it sucked time from the day.

Personally I see both sides of this. I would hate for someone to upload a picture if I knew I wasn't going to like how I looked (which is most times) but I do not want a horrible photo of me going around after a lot of bulling when I was younger.
I think I don't mind but would rather people confirm with us first. x

I understand where your coming from! Recently there was a wedding local to me, the bride had put a lovely poem in the invites to the tune of we've waited forever for this day, and we'd be honoured for you to be here with us, and went on to say we want to spend our day with our loved ones, please don't spend our day with the world! It went down really well! People still took photos but no one posted pics on fb! It's your day at the end of it all!