facebook status update haters

? I think this was posted months ago. around the time I got sick of certain of my friends and their boring updates. keep up, ygay ?

You really are turning into a miserable old man ?

Maybe I just have unusually witty friends (MrsB being one), but I've never had the slightest desire to turn status updates off.

Then again, with a selection like this:

...why would I want to?

Nick, weren't you just posting the other day about joining Twitter? Why would you join Twitter if you hate to learn about people's status updates? You're a walking contradiction, man.

He lives under the illusion that he's fashionable, Janna ?

I love the sweary one MrJK ?

I'm just happy because normally it's Nick taking the pee out of me. ?

Does he? Bless. I think we thrashed that one out over the 'shall I wear an ACDC t-shirt for my photo shoot' post, didn't we? ?

La B - talking of having you as a friend on FB, I've just replied to your kleek mail - FB didn't email me to me you'd written, soz ?

Oh that's no fun! I actually like posting them because I know it annoys you ?

Me too. In fact I might just send one from my phone now.

I think we should all do really really dull and irritatingly smug updates now, just to irritate. I mean, I know you'll all be surprised but I can be ball achingly dreary when I really try ?

I thought they were just reserved for my SIL (you just know the updates are for other people's benefit) but it sounds like lots of people do it. Maybe I do too so I'm not going to say too much or Hole will out me ?

Sunset I am with you.

too much smuggery from certain quarters. and several vom inducing phrases of late, including various mentions of hubbies and twee words referring to pregnancy and children. blee.

I'm actually just off to see if there's a facebook group for 'hun' haters cause my friends seem to love it.

My friends don't really do that at all - just one exception that I can think of, but she's just got engaged so that's fair enough.

And a quick glance down family references in my own status updates has turned up:

...is wondering when his kids will grasp the concept of clocks going back, instead of assuming he wants to get up at 5.30am.
...has just been called a numpty by his three-year-old daughter.
...has just heard his wife referring to the popular cartoon character Peppa Pig as 'a thick porcine bint'.
...is watching his children being chased by invisible dinosaurs. Apparently.
...is trapped in a car with two small children singing along to Slade's 'Merry Christmas Everybody'.
...has just uttered the threat 'If you don't have a bath, Father Christmas won't be coming' with a straight face.
...has just explained to his kids that that's it on the present front until their birthday. It didn't go down well.
...has just called his daughter a small midgety dwarf, and loves the way the English language somehow makes all three words seem necessary.
...has just found a tiny human-shaped gingerbread effigy in his son's lunch box, and is getting Blair Witch Project flashbacks.
...is trying to explain to his kids that the fact that it's snowing doesn't mean that Christmas is coming round again any time soon.

I don't really do twee, though. Not least because if I did, JK wouldn't have married me, and the kids wouldn't exist, so I wouldn't be able to write about them.

Subjective i fully appreciate, but i think all those are rubbish ? and is probably why i dont like it.

Yes, but that's why you're not one of my Facebook friends. ?

nor you, mine ?

Not rubbish and some of them are funny in isolation, but it does confirm my theory that people with children can't do a FB update without mentioning them.

What's that great hitched line about the plural of anecdote...

Interesting. I have children, and have never to my knowledge mentioned them in my FB status. I think I must be very self-centred indeed.

Touched a nerve, neffi?

It's not much of a theory, given that the example which apparently "confirms" it is a very small and not particularly representative sampling of a much longer list! ?

Anyway, when's NickJ going to treat us to his own status updates? Or is he too much of an indoor shades-wearer to bother with such things in the first place?

One of my facebook friends is totally incapable of an update that doesn't mention her child. Completely incapable. It makes me laugh now, I am past the annoyance. She is the only one though. All the other parents seem quite normal ?

no, just failing to understand how your experience makes it a theory about all parents, not just the ones you know. but don't let that stop you doing a little bit of parent bashing. Again.

And, I don't do facebook updates.

Since I've said repeatedly that I don't like them, I'd have thought that it would be glaringly obvious that I don't post them. It has nothing to do with being cool or not, I just think they're pointless and shit.

Clearly not just the ones I know, but MrJKs friends too. And Flowery's friend.

So, I'll qualify my statement to say that my theory is that many parents and a disproportionately high number of my friends can't do an update without mentioning their children.

And you can go back to waiting to pounce on another one of my posts because you clearly get some kind of kick out of it.

In fairness though Boop, it's all about how much of your life is taken up by one thing, whether that's children or something else. As JK said so eloquently on the Dummy Mummy thread, if something's as so utterly all-consuming as children are, you're bound to have it feature in may of your updates. I would wager that your dog features on some of your updates, yes? Most of my career focussed friends update about the days they've had at work, my sports obsessed friends update about their team's score, etc. I don't know why child related updates need singly out particularly.

what on earth are you talking about? Have I upset you before and you have me on some kind of "enemies of Boop" hit list? if so I'm sorry but you're holding a grudge against someone with one of the worst memories in the world and doesn't know what she posted yesterday, let alone before that.

I'm not the only one disagreeing with you, you know. Mr JK's friends updates might all be from the same friend or it may be 2/3 friends out of 150. Flowery said one friend does it and all the rest (number unknown) don't. Your "theory" really isn't holding water.

To be fair - you can't ever put something like that and not have someone trot out the phrase about anecdote and evidence - I immediately thought of it when reading your post, and I've certainly never got a kick out of 'pouncing'. Unless there's something I'm missing I think you're being WAY over sensitive.

I don't update my status as I'm so rarely on FB these days - but they've never contained an update about the dog, no.

It seems, from my perspective, that there is a disproportionately high number of child-related updates regardless of whether those parents are also working / sports / holidays / team obsessed. It seems that parents (stay-at-home parents especially) complain about their lives being solely about their children but that they find it almost impossible to switch their own focus away from them.

And I never saw the Dummy Mummy thread - must have been while I was rarely hitching.

I would suggest, that SAHPs talk about their children the same way that career focussed people talk about their jobs.

Fwiw, I'm a SAHM and my FB updates are sometimes about the children, sometimes not, just the same as all my friends that are parents/non parents/have all consuming careers/whatever.

I think the point people were trying to make was that you made a bit of a sweeping generalisation, and they always get picked up on here. I'm not sure why it should be any different because it's about parents.

Well speaking as a stay-at -home-mum, I do sometimes bemoan the lack of time I get to do anything else. They make demands of me from the minutes I wake (currently about 5am) to the minute I put them to bed at 7pm. That's pretty demanding as a result that's why I can't take my focus away from them. How can you switch your focus away form something that demands your attnetion the entire live long day?