Family Doozee

Why not just invite them and let her decide whether she's ready to take the risk or not in terms of him meeting her extended family? Tell her you're concerned then leave it to her to decide what to do.

WSS.

If it was me I think I would sit her down and just try to have a chat with her about the dilemma and be honest about what's concerning you. Maybe even ask her what she'd like you to do, if anything. It may be a senstive subject but I think I would also suggest that she is completely honest with him about it all especially as she has taken that step in asking him as her guest. How long have they been together?

I initially thought this but then I think part of me would worry about how the b/f would take things if he found out under those circumstances. But I guess you leave the ball in her court then.

Does she know that your friends know? Reason I ask is is she's under the impression that it's only your family that know she may well feel quite confident that no one else will say anything iyswim?

If it is fairly common knoweldge with everyone, I would broach the subject with her and ask her what you want the response to be should someone ask her about her "process"? in front of the boyfriend - It's her responsibility should something be said that she doesn't want saying. I doubt a scene would be made should this info arise as most people do know how to behave at a wedding.... at least that's what I'm telling myself about my guests!

I'm not sure how long they've been dating for. But I'm assuming it's still rather "fresh". My friends know that's he is now a she as some of them actually went to the same school as "he" did so they know the whole story as her mom actualy teaches at the school so it's pretty public knowledge. I don't want to just sit on the sidelines. I need to have a chat to her mother I think.